Stages of The Heart- Ellie Morch

Chapter 5: A Quiet Sunday

Erica woke up to the soft sound of rain pattering against her bedroom window. It was a rare rainy day in Los Angeles, and the steady rhythm felt like a lullaby pulling her back into sleep. But she didn’t have to get up for work today, and the thought brought a small smile to her face. It was Sunday—her day off, her chance to do nothing and, maybe, reflect on everything that had been swirling in her head lately.

The soft, gray light of the cloudy morning filtered into her room, casting a calm, muted glow over her space. She stretched lazily under her sheets, taking a deep breath as she felt the rare sense of stillness that came with not having a packed schedule for the day. No meetings, no scripts to memorize, no photoshoots. Just a day to herself.

After lounging in bed for a few more minutes, Erica finally pulled herself up and padded into the kitchen, her feet cold against the hardwood floor. She reached for the kettle and set it to boil, the scent of fresh coffee slowly filling the air. Sundays were her one indulgence in the week, the day she allowed herself to slow down. She loved the stillness of the morning, the way the world outside seemed quieter, more distant.

As the coffee brewed, Erica found herself thinking about her conversation with Lana the day before. Lana’s words had stuck with her, particularly the part about flying versus free-falling. Erica still wasn’t sure which one she was doing, but she hoped Lana was right. She wanted to believe that she was taking control of her life and career, even if it felt terrifying at times.

She poured herself a mug of coffee and settled onto her couch, pulling her favorite blanket over her legs. The rain continued to fall softly outside, the perfect backdrop for a quiet morning.

Lana had always been the more confident, carefree one in their friendship. She moved through life with a kind of ease, dating whoever caught her eye and never overthinking things. Erica, on the other hand, had always been more cautious. When it came to her career, she knew what she wanted, even if the path was difficult. But when it came to her personal life—especially her love life—things were a lot less clear.

She thought back to Lana’s teasing the day before, asking her about boys. It had made Erica laugh at the time, but now, sitting in the quiet of her apartment, the question lingered in her mind. The truth was, there wasn’t much to say when it came to boys. At 24, Erica had yet to experience what most people her age had already gone through in high school or college. She was still a virgin and hadn’t even shared a real kiss, not outside of the ones she’d faked on set.

It wasn’t that she was opposed to the idea of being with someone. She’d had crushes before, had moments where she thought maybe things would go somewhere with a guy. But it had never felt right. Acting had consumed most of her life for the past few years, leaving little room for anything—or anyone—else. And honestly, the idea of dating had always felt like something that belonged to a different version of herself, a version that wasn’t so focused on her career.

She sipped her coffee, her thoughts drifting. What would it even feel like to fall for someone, to be kissed for the first time? Not a scripted kiss, where every movement was choreographed, but a real, genuine kiss. Would it feel the way it did in the movies—magical, heart-racing, perfect? Or would it be awkward, clumsy, like a lot of firsts were?

She wasn’t naïve. She knew that love and relationships were more complicated than what she saw on screen. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder. Maybe that’s why she’d never pursued anything serious with anyone. Her standards were too high, shaped by the idealized love stories she played out in her movies. Or maybe it was just fear—fear of stepping into something so personal and intimate, something she had no experience with.

Lana had teased her about it in the past, but always in a lighthearted way. She knew Erica wasn’t rushing into anything, and she respected that. But every now and then, Erica caught a glimpse of her friend’s curiosity. After all, in their friendship, Lana was the one who had been on dates, who had gone through the ups and downs of relationships, while Erica stayed focused on her career.

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t had offers. There had been co-stars who had shown interest, even some admirers from outside the industry, but Erica had always politely declined. None of it felt right. The chemistry she felt with characters on screen didn’t translate into real life, and she wasn’t willing to settle for something that didn’t move her.

Was that the problem? Was she holding out for something that didn’t exist? Sometimes, Erica worried that she was waiting for a perfect moment that might never come. But deep down, she knew that when it did happen, she wanted it to be real. She wanted to feel connected to someone, to feel like she wasn’t acting, like she could be herself—vulnerable, imperfect, but genuine.

Erica leaned her head back against the couch, letting out a deep breath. The rain had picked up, creating a soft, rhythmic hum that blended with her thoughts. She wondered if she was overthinking it all, as Lana often said. Maybe dating didn’t have to be this big, earth-shattering thing. Maybe she could take it slow, get to know someone without putting so much pressure on herself or the situation.

Her phone buzzed on the coffee table, pulling her out of her thoughts. It was a text from Lana:

Lana: "Hey girl! Hope you’re enjoying your lazy Sunday. Just thinking about you and our talk yesterday. You’re doing great, trust me. Also… I think it’s time we find you a *real* kiss, don’t you? 😜 Let’s go out next weekend. I’m serious!"

Erica smiled, shaking her head at her friend’s persistence. Leave it to Lana to make light of things. But at the same time, there was a part of Erica that wondered if maybe Lana was right. Maybe it was time to take a step in that direction—not just for the sake of experiencing a kiss, but for allowing herself to open up to the possibility of love, or at least connection, outside of her work.

She typed a quick reply:

Erica: "Haha, you never give up, do you? We’ll see. But yeah, I could use a night out. Let’s do it next weekend."

She set her phone down and pulled the blanket closer around her. The idea of dating, of letting someone in, still felt daunting. But maybe it didn’t have to be. Maybe she could approach it the way she was learning to approach her career: with patience, honesty, and an understanding of what she truly wanted.

For now, though, she was content to sit in the quiet of her apartment, sipping her coffee and letting the sound of the rain keep her company. Today wasn’t about making big decisions or worrying about the future. It was just a quiet Sunday, a day to recharge, to think about where she was and where she wanted to go next.

And maybe, just maybe, that next step would involve more than just her career.