Thistle and Stone [Chaennie]

Chapter 16

MEMORY

"Alright, Ms. Kim, let's try this from another angle. You remember being in the cave, correct?"

Jennie fidgeted under Croaker's gaze, his downturned smile conveying a measure of sympathy that made her uncomfortable. Lisa had helped prop her up in her hospital bed, and by her fourth day at St. Mungo's, she was feeling irritable and ready to leave.

Croaker had convinced Jungkook to let him come see Jennie and ask her a few questions for his research. Jennie found herself staring at his head of greying curls and the rich trim of his robes. She struggled to focus on his words, finding it hard to meet his searching eyes.

"Yes, I remember," she replied. Croaker made a noise of understanding and quickly moved on, running through a list of questions she felt she had already answered a hundred times over the past hour. He had wanted to know about the stones, the altar, the ouroboros, the walls, the floor, the temperature, every little factor that Jennie had to struggle to remember. The details were like wisps in her mind, visible one moment and gone another. She could picture the cave—but then she couldn't. She could see Roseanne, holding her palm open, dropping in the stone, but then she was gone. Croaker seemed extremely interested in her inability to hold down her memories, pushing her past where she was comfortable.

"And what was it that Ms. Park did, Ms. Kim, right before you suffered your injuries? Can you tell me again?" Croaker prodded.

"Unspeakable Croaker," Lisa cut in from across the room, "with all due respect, don't you think Jennie has answered enough for today?"

Jennie found Lisa standing across from them, half-hidden behind the privacy curtain. Her arms were crossed, eyes narrowed at the pair of them. She had been standing guard for a few hours now, still in her muddy practice uniform from a day on the field. She had taken over from Jisoo who had insisted on spending the morning with Jennie, despite her protests that she was fine on her own.

"Ah, Ms. Park, yes, quite right. Perhaps just a few more, hmm?" Croaker pursed his lips in a satisfied smile when Lisa conceded.

"I'm alright, Lis," Jennie shrugged, hiding the aching headache that had settled between her eyes and sunk down into her neck.

"Excellent, continue then. I want to go back to what happened when you fell, Ms. Kim. Can you walk me through exactly what you felt took place?" Croaker leaned forward in the stiff hospital chair meant for visitors, the seat groaning under his weight. Jennie's finger dug into the soft nailbed of her thumb as she paused before answering.

"I felt myself getting pushed backwards, I remember feeling like my breath had been knocked from me. And there was silence...I—I couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything. It was like I was empty. Chanyeol found me, I think. He says I ran." Jennie slowly released the air from her lungs, lingering over the remnants of memories that had kept her up the night before.

"Do you remember running, Ms. Kim?" Croaker tilted his head as the quill beside him rushed to pen down his words. Jennie hesitated.

"No. I don't know—I don't think so? Chanyeol was shaking me, and then I was falling," she finished, noting how his brows creased as she spoke, how he tapped his hand against his knee in impatience.

"And you had no immediate memory of Ms. Park?"

Jennie flinched at the mention of Roseanne's name before shaking her head. "I don't see her—in my memory of that moment, that is."

"She wasn't there?" Croaker clicked his tongue, confused. "From Mr. Park and Mr. Byun's accounts, she was indeed there."

"No," Jennie countered, equally frustrated. Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth and she struggled to articulate what happened. "She—she wasn't here, do you understand?" Jennie gestured towards herself, wanting Croaker to realize what she meant. "I couldn't feel her, it's like she was erased from my mind."