PJO cast moments (taken over by waleah now lol)

Confused Feelings (Leah's POV)

Ever since the little bonding music sessions we had, I feel I've gotten closer to the boys. Especially Walker.

He's shown a different side since I started teaching him songs. We still tease each other, but it's like he's making a constant effort not to be obnoxious now. He's still playful, but in a more shy way, which I never thought I'd see from him. And everything he does seems more well-thought-out, more sincere.

Sometimes our hands will bump into each other when we play duets, and Walker will act super embarrassed and pull away like it's his fault, even if it was me who played the wrong note. Then Aryan will start laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" I'd demand, turning around.

"Nothing," he'd say, coughing exaggeratedly into his fist while trying not to smile. "Please, go on."

This weird behavior from both boys is confusing me more and more. I decided to ask Dior on her thoughts about it, although I was careful not to give away that we'd been meeting together secretly to make music. I know, it's weird that we keep something like that a secret. But Walker and I both do it for Aryan.

"Dior, can I ask you something?" I said, feeling nervous for some reason. Dior's good with this stuff. And she's literally the big sister I've always wanted to have. But telling her about this feels a little too close to home even for a big sister, for some reason.

"Of course, Lee-Bee," she grinned at me. She comes up with nicknames for everyone. Walker is Walkie-Talkie, (although that was Leena's name for him originally,) Aryan is Goat Bride, Charlie is Charmander, Daniel is Danny Boy, and Tamara is T-Baby.

Anyway, I'm getting off-topic. I told Dior what was on my mind in a very non-obvious way.

"So, this is a purely hypothetical example," I said anxiously, pulling out a big word because I use big words when I'm producing word vomit. "If Boy A is very annoying towards Girl, and then suddenly very different and...I don't know, considerate and sincere, while Boy B is laughing every time Boy A and Girl do something...what's going on between all of them?"

I watched Dior's face carefully as I talked. I could tell she was hiding a smile.

"You know, Leah," she giggled after I finished, "you are a very smart girl, but you can be a little clueless sometimes."

"What?" I said, confused.

"Fine, I'll humor your little 'hypothetical example,'" Dior grinned. "Boy A used to have a minor crush on the girl. He expressed that by annoying her. But now he's developing some pretty serious feelings for the girl, so he's acting differently. And while Boy B doesn't like the girl romantically, he's feeling left out but acting like a goofball to hide it."

"Wait, what?" I exclaimed. "You're saying..."

Walker likes me.

It took me a hot minute to register that into my brain. Why would he like me out of all the girls who are dying all over him? I mean, I'm closer to him than they are, but—we're friends. I've thought about kissing him before, but only because we play Percy and Annabeth. It's in our roles. Nothing else.

And Aryan...he knows. Screw him, the little devil knew the whole time, and he didn't tell me! He just let Walker act shy and embarrassed while I was completely oblivious.

But then there's the second part of what Dior said...He's feeling left out but he's acting like a goofball to hide it.

Aryan's afraid of being the third wheel. That's why he didn't tell me.

The anger on my face at not having been informed is gone now. I get it. He thinks that once I realize that Walker likes me, I'll like him back, we'll start dating...and he'll just be the second thought, the annoyance, the bump in the road.

Oh, golly, the road's getting bumpy...

It's up to me to decide what happens to us three now. If I reciprocate Walker's feelings, our friendship won't be the same again. It won't be the trio anymore. It'll be the Percabeth-turned-reality couple and the annoying third wheel.

I know Aryan's gone through much more than he's let on. He acts like he doesn't have a care in the world, but he's carrying a lot of emotional baggage with him that he's too good at hiding. Something happened to prevent him from singing with his true voice. He's had the toughest, most rollercoaster-like acting career out of the three of us before he finally got his big break. As new and surprising as Walker's feelings for me are, I can't do this to Aryan.

But then again, Walker's been acting so sweet to me recently—and I know he means it.

Lots of guys act nice, but they don't feel very genuine. Pretty much every boy I know thinks they have rizz or whatever. I don't understand how that's supposed to attract girls. Whenever Aryan starts doing the "Am I your Roman Empire, pookie?" videos with his sucked-in cheeks, you can literally see my concerned reaction in the background.

I feel like all the jawline stuff and rizzing up is just another stupid thing that increases the male ego. That's my unpopular opinion. Sorry not sorry.

I think an actually admirable quality in a guy is whether or not they're able to put aside their ego. And if they really mean what they say, instead of trying cringey pick-up lines on you.

What I want to see is a guy who's not afraid to admit that he needs help. Who's vulnerable and honest sometimes. Someone who cares about people in a sincere way and is loyal to their friends and the people they love.

Come to think of it, Walker fits a lot of this criteria.

"You okay, Lee-Bee?" asked Dior softly, brushing a curly strand of hair from my face. "You look like...you have your concerned thinking face on."

"I—yeah, I'm fine," I said. "Thanks, Dior."

She hugged me and left my room, closing the door gently behind her. She can tell what a mess I'm in now. She knows I need some alone time.

I don't know if I like Walker as more than a friend or not. I can't decide what's worse—rejecting him and seeing his heartbroken expression, after he probably thinks I've been leading him on with our little piano lessons all this time—or telling him I like him and then inevitably leaving Aryan to be the forgotten third wheel, just after he's getting comfortable to trust us with secrets he's never told anyone else.

I'm up late at night thinking about all this. I don't know what to do. Why does life have to be so complicated?