My Whispers : A Journey of Self-Discovery"

A week full of teasing 😛

From that day on, everything changed. Aditi and Shruthi no longer called me by my original name—they started addressing me exclusively as "Suhasini," even when I was dressed as a boy. It felt strange at first, but over time, hearing my girly name began to feel natural, like a part of me that had always been there but had been waiting to be fully acknowledged. Along with the name came the shift in how they saw me—using female pronouns, treating me as a girl in every way.

At college, Aditi became my closest confidante. Despite the fact that I still dressed as a boy during the week, she treated me like one of her girlfriends, blurring the line between who I appeared to be and who I was becoming. Every day, she would walk with me between classes, her arm linked with mine, chatting casually about fashion, makeup, and everything girly.

“Suhasini,” she’d whisper in class, leaning over with a grin, “what do you think of this dress I’m wearing today? Wouldn’t it look amazing on you? I think you’d totally rock this shade of pink.”

I would blush, trying to focus on the lesson, but her teasing would pull me into a different world, making me imagine myself in the dresses and outfits she described. Sometimes she would point out other girls walking by, elegantly dressed, and with a mischievous smile, she’d nudge me and whisper, “Look at her! I bet you’d love to wear what she’s wearing. Imagine yourself in that saree or that cute salwar. You’d look stunning.”

At first, it was all teasing, but I could tell Aditi enjoyed pulling me into that feminine world, making me imagine myself as one of the girls. It wasn’t just playful—it felt like she was helping me slowly bridge the gap between Suhas and Suhasini, blurring the lines between the boy I showed to the world and the girl I felt inside.

One afternoon, Aditi and I sat under a tree in the college courtyard, watching people walk by. A group of girls passed us, dressed in vibrant kurtis and churidars, their bangles clinking as they laughed and chatted. Aditi turned to me with that knowing smile of hers. “You see that, Suhasini? I can totally see you walking with them, dressed just like that. Wouldn’t it be fun to join them?”

I felt my face heat up, trying to suppress the smile that was creeping across my lips. “Stop teasing,” I muttered, but deep down, her words stirred something inside me. She knew exactly how to ignite my imagination, making me picture myself dressed in the same clothes, moving with the same ease and grace.

Aditi didn’t stop there. She often brought her own clothes to college, showing them to me during our breaks, holding up skirts, blouses, and scarves with a playful twinkle in her eye. “Maybe next weekend you can try this one on,” she’d say, running her fingers over the fabric. “I’m sure Shruthi would agree that this would suit you perfectly.”

These moments between us were more than just fun—they became our secret language, a shared world where Suhasini was always present, even when I was dressed as Suhas. Aditi never missed an opportunity to push me gently towards embracing my feminine side, and slowly, I found myself not just accepting it, but craving it.

She had a way of making me feel like Suhasini was always there, just beneath the surface. When she’d point out a beautiful girl passing by or talk about her latest saree shopping trip, she wasn’t just talking to Suhas—she was talking to the girl inside me, the one who longed to wear those clothes, to be seen as someone just like her.

Our friendship grew deeper, and it wasn’t long before I realized that Aditi didn’t just see me as a friend—she saw me as her girlfriend, someone she could share her world with. And I loved that. I loved being included in her conversations about fashion, makeup, and everything feminine. It made me feel connected to her in a way that went beyond just friendship. It was like she was inviting me to fully step into Suhasini’s world, even when I was still in my boy clothes.

And so, day by day, I began to feel more comfortable as Suhasini, even when I wasn’t dressed as her. Aditi had a way of making me feel like I could be both—Suhas during the week, Suhasini on the weekends—but more and more, I realized that Suhasini was becoming a permanent part of me.

Whenever Aditi teased me, I found myself smiling more, imagining myself in the dresses and accessories she pointed out, and feeling that pull towards my feminine self grow stronger. There was no more hiding, no more fear. With Aditi by my side, encouraging me, and Shruthi supporting me, I knew that Suhasini wasn’t just a part of me anymore—she was me.