“Chad's Point of View”
When I was fifteen,
I had all the ideas about love,
And now I'm twenty-one,
I've forgotten what it was.
Do you still remember the boy who lived in Upland?
Dealing with delusions, day by day, leaving the past behind?
Always late to school, sitting in the very last row,
Trying to know about you, daydreaming about you, and the worst thing is:
Who always loves you.
About you I didn't know.
Forget about what you saw
On the volleyball field
And on the basketball bench where I always stayed.
All alone.
Then you saw me
And started gossiping about me
With your few girls who laughed right in front of me.
They thought I was crazy.
And yet,
Another day, one boy came along.
I'd just woken up without hurting myself all night long.
That was the very first morning
That I never felt bored.
When my life started to fall apart
And a fresh new beginning began to start.
He came to my house, and we used to be good friends,
But our time was too short for the moments we spent.
I remember before he left he told me,
"Love can make you crazy;
It's a mental disease that has an unknown cure."
I remember immediately the song "My Cure."
The song was not all about you;
It was all about the girl who also lived in delusions.
She could never cope with one problem to find a solution.
I used her this whole time as my inspiration.
Somehow in this written book of life,
Or was it written already as I went crazy all night?
Writing and telling stories of my whole life—
Even one single scene was all a lie.
Can you believe it?
Can you just will yourself to read it?
You will get all that you want, including the key,
The key to my thoughts, me, and my diary.
When I was fifteen,
I had all the ideas about love,
And now I'm twenty-one,
I don't know what it is now.
