Gold Dust Woman (Stanford Pines x OC)

14.) I Love You, It's Ruining My Life

all of this to say, i hope you're okay but you're the reason. and no one here's to blame but what about your quiet treason?

The eighties

Two weeks later

"So...do you want to have devastatingly angry-sad sex now?" Stan asks as Celia stares out the window by the sink.

"The answer is never gonna be yes, Stan." She says dully.

"Why?" He asks genuinely, he truly doesn't understand.

"Because you look just like him." She shakes her head.

"Shouldn't that be a plus?" He makes a poor attempt at a joke.

"Are you planning on leaving anytime soon?" She asks as he pulls a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and pulls one out before offering her one. "Outside."

She grabs the one he offers and leads the way to the porch. He follows behind, pulling his lighter out. She hasn't smoked since...right before she met Ford. So when they step outside and she puts it between her lips, Stan lighting it, it really feels like she's back to square one.

"The people of the town want to know more about this place," He says between drags. "Do you have any idea how much they paid for a shitty tour of your house?"

"Too much, I assume."

"Also, they think I'm Ford." He says and she turns to look at him as she breathes out the smoke.

"Why would they think that?"

"Because I told them," He says, his gruff voice worse with the cigarette. "So, here's what I'm thinking. I fake my death and take my brother's identity. We can make some real money off of this place because, you know, we'd be married."

"No, that's not happening." She looks at him like he's crazy.

"I stay here and try to fix the portal, I need all three journals to do that and I can't leave this town. No one knows about Stanley Pines but Stanford just introduced himself to them yesterday and a lot of them still want to know more about this. I have a whole idea for it, it'd be called 'The Mystery Shack' and we could make fake anomalies and other bullshit. I make money by day and keep this place running and try to fix the portal by night." He explains.

"Why can't I just divorce y- I mean, Ford- you? I don't know." She breathes out.

Stan takes a long drag from his cigarette, exhaling the smoke slowly as he considers her question. His gaze shifts from the forest surrounding the house back to Celia, who looks exhausted and utterly uninterested in his scheme.

"Look, you could try to divorce me-Ford, whatever-but it wouldn't change anything. If people start asking questions, trying to dig into why we got married and who I really am, they might find out about the portal. If word gets out about that, it could bring the wrong kind of attention. Not just to me, but to you too. And I know you don't want that." He tells her.

"I can just say he left me or something. People drift apart all the time." Celia frowns, her eyes fixed on the horizon as she takes another puff.

"A sudden split won't make sense, and trust me, people love gossip. They'll dig until they find something, and that 'something' could lead them straight to all the weirdness your husband was mixed up in." Stan shakes his head, tapping ash off the end of his cigarette.

She stays silent, processing his words as the smoke curls around her fingers.

"Plus," Stan continues, seizing the moment, "Me posing as Ford keeps things simple. I can access all his research, keep the house, and more importantly, work on fixing that damn portal without raising any eyebrows. If I'm officially Stanford Pines, no one questions why I'm holed up in the basement all night tinkering with strange machines."