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you sat on the worn leather couch, legs tucked beneath you, a mug of hot chocolate in your hands. across from you, emily leaned against the window, arms crossed, staring out into the snowy landscape with a frown on her face.
it had been her idea to come to the lodge. well, technically it was a 'group' trip, but somehow, the two of you had ended up alone together, it wasn't the first time.
maybe it was fate or maybe just bad luck, but it seemed like no matter what, you and emily always found yourselves in these near miss moments. so close to something more, yet never quite crossing that line.
you took a deep breath, determined not to let her moodiness affect your own. "hey," you called out, your voice soft but full of cheer, "is it just me who thinks this place is kind of magical? the snow, the fire... it's like something out of a movie."
emily glanced at you briefly, her expression unreadable, before returning her gaze to the window. "sure," she muttered, her tone flat. "if you're into that kind of thing."
you smiled despite her gruff response. it was part of her charm, after all. her grumpiness, her sarcasm. but there was something underneath the exterior that made you keep coming back.
you just wished she'd let you in, just a little more.
setting your mug down, you got up and walked over to her side, gently nudging her shoulder. "come on, emily. can't you at least try to enjoy this? it's not every day we get to escape everything and just... be."
she shot you a sideways glance, her lips twitching like she was fighting a smile, but she quickly masked it with a sigh. "i'm here, aren't i? isn't that enough?"
you laughed softly, shaking your head. "i guess. but i was hoping for a little more enthusiasm." you leaned against the window beside her, close enough that your shoulder almost brushed hers. "how often do you get to unwind like this?"
emily shrugged, her dark hair falling in her face. "not really my idea of unwinding."
you frowned slightly, genuinely curious. "then what is?"
there was a long pause before emily finally answered. "i don't know. something quieter. less people, less... stuff."
"less me?" you teased lightly, trying to keep the mood light despite the sudden tightness in your chest.
her eyes flickered toward you, and for a second, you swore you saw something soften in her expression. but just as quickly as it came, it vanished. "that's not what i said."
you tilted your head, watching her closely. "but it's kind of what you meant, right?"
emily groaned, running a hand through her hair. "no, it's... i just don't get why you're always so... you."
you blinked, taken aback. "what is that supposed to mean?"
"you're always... happy. always looking on the bright side. it's exhausting sometimes." her voice was sharp, but there was something vulnerable underneath it. "like nothing ever gets to you. don't you ever just–" she stopped herself, pressing her lips together tightly.
"feel like i'm faking it?" you finished for her softly. "like i'm too much?"
her silence was answer enough.
you sighed, leaning your head back against the window and staring up at the wooden beams above. "it's not that i don't get sad or frustrated, you know. it's just that... i try to focus on the good stuff. even when things aren't perfect." you paused, glancing at her out of the corner of your eye. "like right now. we're in this amazing place, and i'm here with my favorite person, so i'm choosing to enjoy it."
emily's frown deepened, but she didn't look away this time. her eyes lingered on you, something unreadable behind them. "you... you don't have to be all sunshine and rainbows around me, you know."
you let out a soft laugh, not sure if that was a compliment or a critique. "i know. but that's just how i am. and... maybe i like trying to get you to smile every now and then."
her lips twitched again, and this time, she didn't try to hide it. "good luck with that."
for a second, the tension between you was thick. the fire crackled softly in the background, the snow outside adding to the quiet stillness of the lodge. you were standing so close now, the warmth of emily's presence radiating through your skin. your heart thudded in your chest, a nervous flutter in your stomach as you weighed your next words.
say something. take another step.
but just as you opened your mouth, emily pulled away, breaking the moment. "i'm going to bed," she mumbled, avoiding your gaze. "it's late."
disappointment curled in your chest, but you forced a smile. "yeah, sure. goodnight, emily."
she gave a curt nod and disappeared down the hall toward her room. you stood there for a long moment, staring at the space she'd just left, feeling like something important had just slipped through your fingers.
---
the next morning, the lodge was quiet, except for the soft patter of snow falling outside. you found emily in the kitchen, already dressed, her hands wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee. she didn't say anything as you approached, but there was something different about her, like the usual wall between you had a crack in it.
"morning," you said softly, grabbing a mug for yourself.
emily glanced up at you, her brow furrowed. "i was thinking about what you said last night."
you blinked, caught off guard. "you were?"
"yeah." she hesitated, her fingers tightening around her mug. "about how you see the good in things. and how you... put up with me."
you frowned, leaning against the counter. "i don't 'put up' with you, em. i like being around you. even when you're grumpy."
she huffed a laugh, shaking her head. "you're a weird one."
"maybe," you replied, grinning. "but i think you like that about me."
emily's eyes met yours, for the first time in a long while, she didn't look away. "maybe i do."
your breath caught, the air between you charged with unspoken things. you took a small step toward her, and she didn't pull away this time.
say something. anything.
but then, the door to the lodge burst open, and the sound of your friends' voices filled the space. the moment was gone in an instant, emily straightening up, her face closing off again.
you sighed internally, smiling through the disappointment as you greeted the others. another almost, you thought, glancing at emily one last time.
and this time, she smiled. just barely, but it was there.
