In The Backseat

Chapter 12: Almost There, Almost Here.

The dorm room felt claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in around us. I could still hear Calitrope's words echoing in my head, sharp and raw: "Do you even know what you're asking me, Vee?"

Did I know what I was asking? Did I really understand what any of this was? I didn't have the answers, not all of them anyway. But I knew one thing: I couldn't keep pretending like it didn't hurt seeing her with someone else.

"Of course I know what I'm asking," I said, closing the door behind us, feeling the need to put it all out there, to stop holding back. "I know exactly what I'm asking. And I know how I feel, okay?"

Calitrope let out a bitter laugh, pacing the length of the room, her hands clenched into fists. "Oh, so you do know. You know how you feel? Great. Then maybe you can explain why you spent the entire night ignoring me until I was dancing with someone else."

I flinched at the accusation, my frustration boiling over. "That's not fair. You were out there with someone else, laughing, flirting—I didn't even know if you wanted to be around me tonight!"

"Because you introduced me as just your roommate, Venici!" she snapped, her voice rising, her eyes flashing with anger and something else—something that looked a lot like hurt. "So I figured maybe that's all I am to you. Just a roommate, maybe a 'friend,' if I'm lucky."

Her words hit me like a slap, and suddenly, all the jealousy, all the frustration, all the hurt bubbled up and spilled out before I could stop it.

"That's not true," I shot back, my voice shaking. "I don't know what we are, Calitrope, but seeing you with other people—it drives me insane. I hate it. And I hate that I feel this way because I don't even know if you feel anything close to what I do."

For a second, she just stared at me, her expression unreadable, and the silence felt like it was about to suffocate us both. But then, with a voice barely above a whisper, she spoke.

"Do you think I didn't want you to feel that way?" she said, her gaze piercing into me. "You think I wasn't hoping—waiting—for you to feel that same jealousy that's been eating me alive every time you dismiss us as 'just roommates'?"

Her words were a revelation, hitting me like a punch to the gut, and I didn't know whether to be relieved or terrified.

"Then why?" I asked, feeling my own voice falter. "Why did you let Callie pull you onto the dance floor? Why did you even—" My voice cracked, and I hated how raw, how vulnerable, I sounded. But I couldn't stop. "Why would you act like none of this mattered?"

She stepped closer, her expression stormy, her jaw tight. "Because maybe I'm tired of playing a part I don't even understand anymore, Vee. Maybe I don't want to pretend like I'm just a friend or just a roommate when every time I see you with someone else, it kills me."

I stared at her, words caught in my throat, feeling like we were both standing on the edge of something we couldn't come back from.

And then, as if the dam had finally broken, I blurted it out.

"I was jealous, okay? I'm jealous because I don't want anyone else with you. I don't want to be just your roommate. I hate it when you look at anyone else the way you look at me."

The room was dead silent, the weight of my confession hanging between us. For a second, Calitrope just stood there, her face a mixture of shock, anger, and... relief?

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hear that," she whispered, her voice softening, her anger melting away as she took a step closer.

Before I could process what was happening, she reached out, her hand cupping my cheek, her thumb brushing over my skin in a way that sent a shiver down my spine. And then, with a look in her eyes that was anything but casual, she leaned in, her lips just a breath away from mine.