Bunny in the Fox's Den

-My new roommate-

Gabriel

I was in class with Lola. I tried concentrating on the subject a bit but I already knew the subject pretty well so it started to get boring.

Some classes feel too easy to me, what they teach is stuff I already know so in some classes I was just there and just fell asleep.

Although that wasn't the only reason I couldn't concentrate today.

My mind was filled with questions:

Should I try talking to him?

Is what I'm feeling right? Do I really have a crush on him?

Since I started high school I've been in multiple relationships before I was with Jessica, at that time I didn't understand the concept of love and still dont till this day, if I want to be completely honest.

When I was in those past relationships it felt like there was always something.. missing..

I don't know what was missing tho..

There was just something wrong but I couldn't figure out what.

But I wasn't always the reason why those relationships ended..

Some of them weren't the best partner.. don't get me wrong, no one is perfect but.. in most relationships I was just used and manipulated..

There was no love in it..

I was just a puppet they could control.

I've always been really weak emotionally, so used to hiding those negative emotions or ignoring them that whenever something bad happens to me I have the tendency to not see the problem and just.. let those bad things happen more and more..

I've tried going to therapy to work on this mentality I've grown up with, when I still lived with my parents I never got a chance to go to one because when I asked my parents if I could go to one they'd forget.

Because of that when I finally got a chance to go to one.. it didn't help much.

When you get used to hiding your feelings and emotions from people, especially your own parents, talking to someone you've just met like a therapist felt.. scary.

I ended up never going back to that therapist and kept the mask that hides all those emotions and feelings.

I just had to keep the act up.. and everything will be fine, right?..

The class ended when Lola asked me "Bro are you sleeping with your eyes open? You've been staring at a blank page the entire class" hearing her voice got me out of my train of thought which I was deep into "Huh?- oh sorry I just felt sleepy again" she grabs her stuff and puts them in her backpack "you need your daily caffeine refill huh?" She says laughing softly "yes! God I need coffee so badly" we walk out of the class together as we talk about some random argument

Lola: "im reminding you to remember you gotta move into the new dorm later this evening, right?"

Gabriel: "Mhm.. I'm really nervous to meet my roommate though"

Lola: "Yea I know, I wish we could share a dorm but the rules says that the opposite gender cant share a dorm, but I'll always pass by, don't worry"

Gabriel: "I really hope they are someone I know or someone nice, I can not handle sharing my dorm with someone toxic for an entire year"

Especially with the stress I've been feeling lately, I definitely can't handle that.

Lola: "If they bother you tell me, I'll handle it for you"

Gabriel: "Thanks"

Since I met Lola, whenever there was something wrong or bothering me she helps me deal with them. That is actually how our friendship started.