Prolonged Entanglement

Chapter 4

(Howdy! It is I, the author! Full disclosure: There’s no smut in this chapter, so if that’s all you’re here for, you’ll just have to wait until the next chapter. If you do skip this one, boy oh boy the next sex scene is going to be soooo confusing. Anyway, have fun, or don’t. You have free will as far as you know. :P)

     The prior night’s activities had worn you out to the point that you had fallen asleep moments after you, N, and Uzi had gotten in your positions. Waking in the morning was a chore, as your body still aches from the exercise. You didn’t move until you noticed N Nuzzling into your neck. You had asked him why he always seemed to wake up before you, and he told you that he usually sleeps hanging upside down like some kind of bat and that beds were comparably uncomfortable. Whoever made these things didn’t design them to be cannibals, they made vampires! No wonder the edgelord in your arm liked N so much.
     Your conversation had stirred Uzi from her slumber, but she held your arms in place, not wanting to be let go of. The three of you just laid in bed for what felt like hours, but was realistically probably only one hour. After getting yourselves dressed, the three of you parted ways. It was Friday, but it was also some weird holliday they do here, so you got a three day weekend. You briefly wondered if it was an actual holiday, or if the teacher just didn’t want to teach today. That sounds like something he would do. Dude didn’t give a shit about anything.
     You felt good for the rest of that day, like you were still feeling the afterglow of the night prior. Maybe you judged this whole three way relationship thing too quick. You still had reservations, but you just had a three way. You felt like you had no right to feel off about it now that you’d punched that card. You did enjoy it, but there was still that voice in the back of your head telling you that you were going to regret it, but you ignored it as your brain just didn't like new things. That’s just kinda how humans work. Maybe that’s why N and Uzi were so quick to suggest/agree to it.
     Regardless, you were happy with the way things are now by and large. You went home, already feeling a little lonely without your boyfriend or girlfriend. You were just going to relax for a while and give your body some rest. You hadn’t played video games alone for a week or two with your expedition having just ended. Damn it, you had to start getting ready for another one of those in a couple of weeks. The hunt for food is never ending in this frozen hell hole.
     You had almost forgotten that you’re only here because you pissed the wrong people off, and they had sent you somewhere you found the two most important people in your life. Maybe you wouldn’t immediately start breaking jaws the second you returned to the company. Wait, why would you want to go back? Throw that plan in the garbage. Being a wagie at JCJenson sucked more than N did- N’s mouth game aside, you head to your room and do what you were always destined to do: Procrastinate on important projects and play games until you realize you missed a meal and haven’t drank water in hours.

     You wake up in your bed and look around your room, you had laid out all your maps to see where you should head on your next expedition the night prior. You ignore them and fumble for your phone. Today was not the day to work. Your eyes widen when you see you’ve gotten a message from Uzi asking when you’re coming over. It had been over an hour since she sent that message, and you slap yourself awake realizing that she had sent a few more. She gave you the code to her house and permission to come in since her dad was off doing door related activities.
     Once you got yourself dressed in a fresh pair of clothes and got some MREs in you, you dash to Uzi’s place. You knock, but no answer as expected. You feel weird entering someone’s home without them letting you in, but you were invited. You enter the code and the door shunts open. You didn’t see anyone upon entering, so you decided to go to Uzi’s room. You knock on the door and get no response. You thought that since you took so long, they may have already gone out, but you wanted to make sure they didn’t just have headphones on or something.
     You open the door, and pause at what you see. A blanket that looked more like a tent was positioned on the bed, clearly housing someone. For some reason you only noticed the trenchcoat and hoodie on the floor afterwards. Seeing those things made a pit form in your stomach, your eyes glued to them.
     After moments of stagnation, N pokes his head out of the tent cautiously. Once he sees you, he breathes a sigh of relief, “Oh, it’s just you.”
     N pulls back the covers and a nude Uzi lays below him on the bed. She groans and facepalms, “Thank robogod, I thought my stupid dad got home early.”
     You were too stunned to speak, but why? You had done this with them a day ago, so why did seeing them like this make you sick? The pit in your stomach deepens as you feel the sudden urge to vomit.
     “(Y/N)? You ok dude?,” N asks, concern lacing his tone.
     Uzi sits up and looks at you, “You don’t look too good. Not going to pass out, are you?”
     You feel your heart rate spike as adrenaline begins to fill you. You don’t know why, but your body is telling you to remove yourself from the situation immediately. This is in stark opposition to your body not listening to you when you try to tell it to move. You only gain the ability to move when you see N begin to move to get up.
     “I’m fine! Just… remembered I have to get ready for my next expedition!,” you lie to the people you love.
     N relaxes a little and stays on the bed, “Oh. When are we going?”
     Uzi looks between the two of you with distress, as she doesn’t want both of you to leave.
     You wave them both off, “I’m not that far along yet, which is why I should really get back to it.”
     Uzi looks at you with a shy smile, “You don’t want to stay? Even just for a bit?” Her expression shifts to pleading when you don’t respond after a while.
     You try to put on a calm mask as you feel your breakfast rise in your throat, rubbing the back of your neck and trying to sound apologetic, “Sorry, I have a lot of stuff I need to get ready. I’ll take a break and meet up with you two later, alright?”
     Uzi wasn’t buying it, but N was quick to accept your response. He gives you a thumbs up, “Sounds good. Don’t push yourself too hard. You still have food for a few years right?”
     “I’m not in danger of starving or anything, but I like the safety net, you know? I’ll cool it when I have at least five years worth stored away. Got to go,” you wave and close the door to Uzi’s room, not giving either of them time to respond. As soon as the door shut, you felt the need to be at home right now. You bolted and nearly ran over a few drones along the way. Once you got to your house, you shut the door behind you and leaned against it, feeling your emotions take over your mind.
     What was wrong with you? You felt betrayed, but you know they didn’t do anything wrong. It was different when you were involved, but when it was just them it felt like they went behind your back. It felt awful. What right did you have to feel this way? It wasn’t like you hadn’t slept with both of them separately before. You felt bile in your throat and tears on your cheeks, and how upset you were only made you feel worse. That small part in your head that told you you were going to regret things with them was having a full on shouting match with the rest of you, and winning.
     You felt trapped, more than you had before. You can’t keep this bottled up forever, and had to tell N and Uzi. If seeing them like that made you this upset, then you couldn’t see a future with the both of them. You’re not even sure how you’d go about just getting over it, or how long that’d take. You couldn’t do this again, but what would you do? None of the reasons you used to justify saying yes to Uzi have changed. You still didn’t want to trigger her abandonment issues, and N would be heartbroken if he even knew you were upset. You couldn’t see a winning move.
     You sat with your back against the door for nearly an hour while you wallowed in your despair, trying to think of any way to make things better with no success. Once you calm down, you begin to think about things more coldly. How could you make it without N’s help? He was vital to your expeditions with how quickly he could cover ground. Were you ok with never seeing Uzi again? Were you ok with hurting her in a way you couldn’t take back? You weren’t, and you would never want to, but you didn’t need her to survive.  Hurting her would also hurt N, and that goes back to the prior issue.
     It wasn’t that you didn’t see a way out, it was that there wasn’t a way out. Something was going to give. You could just…let it happen. Pretend like nothing’s wrong, try to be away from them as much as possible while not acting suspicious, and just act like you normally do forever. Just be miserable and alive. If you were the only one in pain, it was alright wasn’t it? Trading happiness for life, the JCJenson speciality. You could still get N’s help with foraging for food, Uzi won’t be abandoned again, and you’ll be alive. You thought you’d finally found a way out.
     You slam the back of your fist into the wall behind you, making a loud band that even people in the hall could probably hear. Tears begin to fall again, both from the pain of the impact and from the thought of growing to hate being around the people you care about the most. You slam your hand into the wall thrice more before grabbing fistfulls of your own hair and balling your hands into fists, curling in on yourself. You loved N, and cared for Uzi, maybe even loved her too, but this was too much. You wouldn’t be seeing them again today. You just couldn’t.
     You don’t know how long you sat down for, but you needed to do something, anything to get them off your mind. You failed. You look through your food supply, and nothing looks good. You get back on your computer, but nothing looks entertaining. You look at your maps, and just can’t bring yourself to even begin to work on them. The thought crosses your mind that you should just stop scavenging and just starve when your supply runs out. Just don’t say anything and no one will know. You push that thought aside as just a symptom of your heightened emotions.
     You look at your maps again, particularly at the bunker that you and N had first explored each other in. It’d not been very long since then, but you missed those days already. To think that a week ago your biggest problem was how unsure you were about liking men. You cracked a genuine smile, which was ripped from you when you heard a knocking on your door. You slump in your chair, hoping that it wasn’t N since he knew the code to your home. You wait for the sound of an opening door that never comes, instead all you hear is more knocking.
     The knocking comes in sets of fours every thirty seconds, and this person hadn’t left for five minutes. You accept your fate, and move towards the door. On the way you dry your face, and try to put on a happy face, ready to start your lifelong facade as a happy boyfriend. You expected to see Uzi on the other side of the door by how desperate the knocking sounded, but when you opened the door, you saw the last person you expected to see and for just a moment it broke your mask.