Call It What You Want - a Taylor Swift Story

Part 10

Lila's POV:

The day after my moms outburst, I sit on my bed, staring at the wall, my dance shoes tucked away in the corner, untouched. The dance poster hanging above me used to fill me with excitement, but now it just feels like a reminder of everything I've been avoiding. Guilt twists in my stomach, knotting tighter with each passing hour.

I should be rehearsal. I should be out there dancing, aware that my days with Taylor were coming to an end as we were due to start filming the video next week. But here I am, hiding from the world. I can't shake the feeling of shame when I think about Taylor. She wanted to help me when I didn't even want to help myself, and now I'm just... hiding.

The truh is, I'm scared. I cant face Taylor with the injuries I have right now, she would be sure to work out whats going on. My face resembled a ripe plum, swollen and purple. 

After that argument with my mom, I felt like a balloon deflating, the air slowly seeping out of me. Every time I try to dance, pain shoots through my ankle, reminding me of the injuries I've been trying to hide. I can't let anyone see me like this—not Taylor, not my friends.

Avoiding Taylor feels easier than facing the disappointment I know is there. I remember how she looked at me with so much hope, and it makes my heart ache. I've pulled away from her, and every time I see her messages pop up on my phone, I feel even more guilty.

What would I even say? "Sorry for disappearing. my mom hit me"? The thought of that makes me feel sick. I wish I could tell her the truth—that I'm scared, hurt, and feeling utterly alone. But how could I? I don't want her to think I'm weak or unworthy of her belief in me.

I glance at my dance shoes again, running my fingers over the scuffed leather. They've seen so many happy moments, so many times I danced with joy. But now they just remind me of everything I'm trying to escape.

As the day turns to night, I lie back on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Maybe I can find a way to explain myself to Taylor, to show her that I'm still trying, even if I'm stumbling in the dark. But first, I need to gather the courage to face her and the truth I've been avoiding.

It's time to stop hiding.

A few days later my face had gone down enough to disguise it or at least to come up with a creative story if anyone asked. I fallen over the dog... I dont even have a dog but they didnt need to know that.

As I stepped into the studio, I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I tried to keep up with the other dancers, but each step sent a jolt of pain through my ankle. I limped, forcing myself to smile and blend in, but inside, I felt like I was falling apart.

I caught Taylor's eye from across the room. Her presence brightening the entire space. I admired her so much, but every time she looked my way, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. She believed in me, and here I was, barely holding it together.

"Let's take a break, everyone!" Taylor called out, her voice warm and encouraging. I watched as my friends gathered around her, laughing and chatting. I wanted to join them, to be part of the fun, but my body felt heavy. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, trying to hide my limp, but I could feel Taylor's gaze on me.

"Lila!" she said suddenly, making her way toward me. My heart raced. "Can we talk for a minute?"

I hesitated, panic rising in my throat. What could I say? I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. I just nodded, forcing myself to follow her away from the group.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concern etched across her face. "I missed you yesterday. Are you feeling better"

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Yup all good now. Just a little tired."