• 16 • Feelings unravelled •

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Collin's point of view

Days passed and Chaston returned to being as normal and standard as any other town. The sun shone brightly and people went about their usual routines, including me. I managed my bookstore, ran the bar and hosted open mic nights with my refined taste in music. Everything felt normal and light even after Jamie left - days and weeks had gone by. I rarely spoke of her; I focused on my work and kept a calm demeanor. But behind this cheerful facade, Janice knew me well. Beneath it all was an overwhelming urge to express my feelings and lighten the emotional load. But I was a man; perhaps my pride and ego were exactly what I needed to help me standing behind this mask - two sins my sister was quick to point out.

She decided to spend an afternoon at my place. Sitting on the porch with me, she brought up something that had piqued her curiosity since her arrival.

"You still haven't opened it?"

"Opened what?"

"Your gift." she replied.

I fell silent, not wanting to continue the conversation, even though I knew Janice would be persistent.

"Why haven't you opened it?"

"Janice, I'm fine if that's what you're getting at."

"Collin, a lot of adjectives describe you, but liar isn't one of them."

"There are things I don't like discussing, but that doesn't mean I'm lying."

"Worrying about you isn't a sin."

"And I'm telling you you don't have to."

"You two haven't called each other since?" she insisted.

"No."

"And why not?"

"Busy, I suppose."

"Really?"

"I don't know. And obviously, you know me - calling just to chat for nothing isn't really my style."

"Hm. And knowing her, I bet she feels the same way." she concluded, taking a sip of her tea. "Seems like great minds think alike. You young people can be so stubborn."

"Hey, you're my little sister, remember?" I gave her a gentle kick on the leg as we sat across from each other on the opposite couches.

"In civil years yes, you're three years older than me."

"What are you talking about now...?"

"You didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"That there's mental age and civil age. You can be thirty in civil years but have the mental age of five."

"So according to you, I have the IQ of a child?"

"And a developmental delay."

"I didn't know tea and alcohol had the same effect on you."

"Shut it, Collin."

Our playful banter brought a brief and relaxed atmosphere.

"On one hand, it's a good thing she's gone. We need this distance to think things through. It'll be good for us - at least, I hope."

"But on the other hand?"

"I miss her. Far too much in my taste - it's almost worrisome. Can you explain why?"

"No, I can't..."

"Why did she leave such an impact on my life? She was only here for, what - two weeks? And what's more, it's not even my first relationship. Look at Amanda. You remember Amanda, right?"

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