TAT | MW [✔]

09. Mingyu

I stopped trying to figure out what I was feeling by the time we were halfway through breakfast. Everything felt so wrong. I sat across the table from Wonwoo, listening but not listening to him talking about the details of what the ESA training class learned on the third and fourth days. From the sound of things, I'd covered all of it in the last few, mind-blowing days Wonwoo and I had spent together. And then some.

"So basically," Wonwoo finally finished up once our breakfast plates were empty and we'd each had a second cup of coffee, "the ESA trainees go through a heat wave simulation at the end of the class. They don't actually have sex with the instructors and examiners," he quickly qualified. "They just go through the procedures, asking the consent questions, and then talking through the steps they would take if they were with an actual omega in heat."

"Those consent questions are nice, but the process takes too long," I said, trying not to sound critical, but unable to stop myself. The irritated feeling I'd had when I'd first arrived at the institute was back, but now it was hyper-focused on Wonwoo particularly.

He shouldn't have been sitting with a table between us. He should have been sitting on my lap. Which was a ridiculous thought, since he was a grown man and not a toddler. And I knew that his post-heat hormones made it so that he didn't want anyone touching him, but I still wanted to be near him. Nearer than across a table.

"Things usually haven't progressed to the point where we were when the questions are asked," Wonwoo informed me with a frown. "It's my fault for ignoring the signs and thinking my heat wouldn't come until the end of the week." He paused, brow knitting in confusion as he fiddled with his fork. "I always know when my heat is coming. I've never gotten it wrong before. Omegas usually have a full day's warning before things get like that. It gives them plenty of time to call for an ESA and to go through the procedures."

His frown made me want to take him in my arms and soothe him, let him know everything would be alright, that it wasn't his fault, that he was wonderful and beautiful and perfect.

Those thoughts tipped my emotions even more off-balance. Hadn't we just gone through the whole thing about how what we were feeling wasn't real? How it was just the hormones?

Hormones sucked, and I would never trust them again. I hated not being able to trust my own feelings. I was an alpha, I liked certainty and command. Yes, that was a cliché, but clichés had their roots in the truth. I didn't like not trusting my inner self.

"Either way," I said, getting up and picking up my plate with one hand, "this has been a really interesting experience for me." Not to mention the best sex of my life by a factor of a thousand.

Wonwoo stood as well, but I took his plate when he tried to reach for it.

For a moment, our fingers brushed. It was like we were both electric and a spark arced between us. Wonwoo sucked in a breath, his gaze snapping up to meet my eyes. I couldn't read the look he gave me...except that I knew what he was thinking anyhow. That spark between us wasn't insignificant, and it puzzled him.

I wanted so desperately to trust that it was something, that what I'd felt during Wonwoo's heat was real. I still felt it in my gut like it was real, it was just my damn head that second-guessed everything now.

"Do you think the training class is still in progress?" I said, heading into the kitchen and keeping things casual. "Or do you think everyone will have left by now?"

Wonwoo grabbed the coffee mugs, a stray fork and a spoon, and followed me into the kitchen. He glanced at the clock on the microwave and said, "They're probably just finishing up. If we...if we head down there now, we might still be able to catch them to say goodbye."