The Suicide Letter // SatoSugu

The Suicide Letter

My suicide letter was not a one-paged letter that told my wishes, dreams and desires, and not about how I wanted to be loved. I never knew if I was going to die or not at the end of the letter, but someone came who added his own words to it, and never let me write what I felt. My suicide letter started like this:

"When you are dead some most likely people say they wanted to understand you, spend more time with you, and know what your problem was. they would say that you never seemed depressed as if you told them your situation and they were going to solve it. Someone is just as shit as when they say "It will make your heart burden lighter. I hate this saying.

I felt like this is the right time to start this letter so I can read all this when I die and let this world have a little shame.

I heard my name in conversations where I should not be in, and comparing me to a devil that does not know it is, these conversations were by my own family, knowing damn well how much I hate it, telling me how dumb I am and how I am bad at everything except teasing. All these years teasing my dreams, wishes, and desires to hell they expect me to act like a prince. I would rather die than fight them about it because no one will be willing to listen. listen to elders even if they are wrong. I would like to bomb the person who said it.

keeping me in a prison, and telling me it's a palace that's what my family does. It's not like they do not love me, they do but their own made points in culture and traditions had me fallen."

I was depressed in my very own house, where I felt like I was prisoned. In my suicide letter, I wrote about what kind of weather I would like to die on because I didn't get to choose how happy I can live.

"I can see sharp things around me in no time, if I haven't lived a nice life, at least I can die in a nice one. Like on a rainy day where you can hear thunder after every thirty seconds, where rain hurts like bullets, and there's no one out there who could see me or save me from dying. I don't know how but of course, I am going to die on a day like this"

The weather was windy, and I knew its time to find a beautiful place where I can die, and wait for the rain to hit like bullets. I realized the university is under construction next to our university. It was all set and was way too high and had so many floors, It's been in construction for so many years but for some reason, construction had been stopped, It just needs signals and electricity after that it will be good for students to join it until it's opened. I saw there were no workers around just dusted machines outside it and the entry was taped.

I jumped in and entered the reception there were no chairs, I was surprised that there was a lift because my university had stairs, I tapped the lift button but it didn't work, I realized that there was no electricity and I have to use the stairs. It was a whole 5-minute walk on the stairs when I finally reached the gate that had access to the rooftop. I pushed the gate two to three times and it opened making a noise. I stepped forward and stared at the half-wall that blocked the university's view to the ground.

I heard a jump from behind me and saw a man the same age as me having a name tag on his left chest that said "Gojo Satoru".

"How may I help you?" said the man.

It was so awkward that a man has a duty on the rooftop and the whole university is empty, what would he think I am doing here, I suck at making excuses.

"Um- I came here to check on the weather, nice isn't it?" I replied.

"Of course it is! I like this light cold wind and grey clouds" he replied with a smile.