I Miss You Always

I'll Miss You Always (Chapter 1)

Dukeceit Angst
Warnings: Crying, weapon, breif mention of nudity, a little violence.

Remus's eyes slowly fluttered open. He yawned and stretched looking around his messy room. The yellow stuffed snake that he made to remind him of Janus, a tiny bowler hat and everything, had fallen off his bed in the night. He picked it up and hugged it tightly, smiling to himself as he placed it back in its rightful place. He threw on a loose T-shirt and pajama pants to cover his nudity before walking out into the Dark Side living room. "Jannie? Jannie?? You out here?" Remus called out into the mind. This was odd... Usually, Janus is awake long before now. Remus was about to check Janus's room for the sneaky snake when he saw a note on the counter. It was written on old-looking parchment and the writing was in the most perfect calligraphy that made it almost impossible for Remus to read. It read: "My dearest Remus if you are reading this, it means I have accepted the offer to join the Light Sides. As you know contact between Light and Dark Sides is prohibited outside of official business. I'm sorry to leave you alone in the Dark Side, but I have to see what opportunities could be waiting for me. You have always been my closest ally and I wish it didn't have to be this way. I totally won't miss you. Sincerely, Janus." Remus couldn't believe what he was reading. He waved his hand in the air, turning the calligraphy into printed handwriting, making sure he read it right. Sure enough, Janus had left. How could this be? He and Janus were best friends. Maybe more than that... How could Janus just leave? Remus was in shock. Numb to the pain that would no doubt hit him like a bus once it set in. Remus had no reaction as he set the note down and walked back to his bedroom. He closed the door and sat on his bed, staring off into space for what felt like an eternity. When he zoned back in, his face was streaked with tears that he didn't realize had fallen. He wiped his face, and as he processed everything that was happening, he could feel a burning anger rising within him. He wasn't mad at Janus directly, (No matter what Jan did he could never be truly angry with him) but more so at the world. At how his life continuously crumbled around him. No longer in control of his actions, he grabbed his MorningStar and flung it as hard as he could into his wall, leaving a hole at the site of impact. He stood up and tore the weapon from the wall and yelled as he swung it at one of his bed posters again and again. Rage-filled tears dripped down his face as he fell to his knees, sobbing hard. Why couldn't he ever be happy? All he wanted was one nice thing in his life. His emotional outburst had left him feeling mentally drained, tired, and numb. He made no effort to change out of his clothes, calmly hanging up his MorningStar and crawling into his bed, seeing no reason to be conscious at the moment. A small part of him hoped that when he woke up from his nap, he would find that it was all just a bad dream. As he laid down, he instinctively reached for the plush snake that had been set delicately on his bed. He looked at it for a moment before numbly opening his bedside drawer and placing it in with the rest of his stuffed animals that represented each of the sides. He made them as a way to cope with the fact that all of the other sides, and Thomas hated him, although the snake had always had a special place in his heart. He laid back down, pulling the covers over his head, falling asleep once again.