Cross the Line

Chapter seven - Vance

It's been three days since she's been ignoring me. Creeping out of rooms as I enter, ignoring me when I speak, refusing to look at me. We're supposed to fight, to yell at each-other, to give each other dirty looks ;we're supposed to do something. It's what I've gotten used to, what we do best. And, we never completely ignore each other. I don't know how to feel now that she's pretending I don't exist.

I hate envisioning Bianca in any context other than rage. And, right now I feel neglected. But why? I remember yelling at her last week to 'get the fuck out of the house or I'll carry you out.' And now I'm feeling...sad? About what, her not yelling at me? What the fuck is going on with me?

Now that we aren't having any of our outbursts, I'm feeling bored without them. I don't understand why, yet the feeling is still there. And those fucking hickeys. Rage fills my body as I think of them. Purple bruises I saw adorning her body that morning. I could kill her. Not even attempting to hide she hooked up with some dumbass last night. My hands grip the machine so hard my knuckles turn white and my skin begins to burn with friction.

"Excuse me , how long until you'll be done with the machine?" A sweet voice asks me, pulling me out of my trance. I had been doing sets without even thinking, my mind on something - or someone else.

"About five minutes." I say gruffly, annoyed that I was so focused on her that I forgot to focus on my actual workout. I want to bang my head agaisnt the wall.

"Okay..thank you." She mumbles walking away, at-least I think; I never  look at who just asked that. Why am I so out of it?

I finish my last set, feeling warm sweat adorning my back, as well as in between every crack of my body. The promise of a warm shower causes my mood to slightly improve, then I remember every assignment that wait for me when I get home, and my mood dampens. They're all electives, why is all my time going towards classes I don't even want?

I push my annoyance out of my mind, not wanting to add onto the pile of shit wrong with myself and my life.

I drive back home, admiring the sun peeking out after a few days of grey skies and soggy rain. The trees move in the wind, their leaf's orange and reflecting the sunlight. I really do love fall, everything about it. It's when the hockey season starts up again, a new semester, and parties are held every weekend. I remember being a kid, and loving how my nose would be red from the cold when I got inside from playing all day. Small things like that in life, are why I haven't lost it yet.

I pull into the driveway, seeing a the frat devoid of people as I look through the windows. The  thought of Bianca being there makes it way through my mind. I push it out as easy as it came, a little annoyed at the fact I can't control my thoughts.

It's always there in the back of my mind — front actually — whenever I enter the house, she pops into my head. That thought is always there, waiting. Even when I'm not thinking at all, I still feel it sitting there. I walk in anyways, leaving my gym bag in the trunk.

"Sup, Vance." Dax says, smiling at something on his phone.

"What are you looking at?" I ask, going to sit beside him on the couch. My legs ache.

"Gambling." He responds, a glazed over look in his eye he gets only when online gambling. A little smirk makes its way on my face, humoured by his obsession.

Seeing as he couldn't care less if the house blew up as long as his phone was fine, I make my way upstairs. Each step bringing a slight tense of my leg muscles. A sigh escapes my lips as I remember practice is tonight. My mind is lost in how busy I've been recently as I undress; about to shower.