The Depth of Love

Chapter 7: Awakening Feelings

As the week of online classes dragged on, Kai found himself increasingly distracted. His mind wandered during lessons, filled with thoughts of Rina—the girl with the quiet smile and gentle spirit who seemed to hold his attention more than anyone else ever had.

Each day, he was more aware of his growing feelings, feelings he could no longer ignore.

Kai’s heart raced as he recalled how Rina always kept her camera off during their online classes. It made it difficult to gauge her reactions, but he couldn’t help but imagine what she might be doing while he focused on the screen. “Maybe she’s playing on her phone or reading,” he mused, shaking his head as he fought to concentrate on Ms. Takahashi’s lecture. “It’s just so typical of her to keep to herself.”

The realization that he liked Rina hit him like a wave, and with it came a mixture of excitement and anxiety. What was it about her that captivated him so? He felt drawn to her modesty, her introversion, and the subtle way she carried herself. It was as if there was a beautiful mystery to her that he longed to uncover.

The more he thought about her, the more he wanted to know. And so, in a moment of weakness, he found himself succumbing to the allure of social media. Like a detective piecing together clues, he began scrolling through Rina’s Facebook and Instagram profiles, eager to learn more about her life.

“Wow, her family looks so nice,” he whispered to himself one evening, staring at a photo of Rina laughing with her family at a park. The sunlight caught her hair, making it shine, and for a fleeting moment, he could almost hear her laughter ringing in his ears. “She must be really close with them.”

But as he consumed this information, guilt nagged at him. Wasn’t this a bit invasive? He reminded himself that he was just trying to understand her better. Still, the longing to connect overshadowed any unease he felt.

Later that night, with Rina occupying his every thought, he gathered the courage to add her on Instagram and Facebook. He hesitated, his finger hovering over the “Add Friend” button. “What if she thinks I’m weird?” he murmured, biting his lip. But the desire to reach out outweighed his anxiety, and he pressed the button, sending the requests into the digital ether.

Afterward, a wave of panic washed over him. “What have I done?” he thought, tossing his phone aside and staring at the ceiling. He felt as if he’d crossed an invisible line, and now he had to face the consequences. Sleep eluded him, and he tossed and turned, wrestling with his emotions.

The next morning, he jolted awake, heart pounding. His first thought was of Rina. With trembling hands, he grabbed his phone, desperate to check for notifications. When he saw it—a small blue notification indicating that Rina had accepted his friend request—joy surged through him. “She accepted! She actually accepted!” he exclaimed, grinning like an idiot. The news felt surreal, like a dream come true.

But alongside the thrill came a slight twinge of insecurity. “Of course she would accept; everyone else is friends with her,” he muttered, feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety. Yet, he couldn’t help but replay the moment in his mind, excitement bubbling over at the thought that he had connected with her, even if it was just a small step.

As the day progressed and the online classes resumed, Kai found it difficult to concentrate. Rina’s presence lingered in his thoughts, and he caught himself glancing at her profile picture on the screen, wishing he could see her face, wishing she would turn on her camera. “Why won’t she show herself?” he wondered. It felt like a barrier between them, one he was desperate to break.

After class ended, he decided to reach out to Haruto, hoping for some advice. “Hey, are you busy?” he messaged, heart racing at the prospect of confiding in his friend.