MIRAGE

M3 "Acquainted"

12:43 pm - 4/21/17 - LA,CA

The walls of Solace's Airbnb were seeing her a lot more than the streets of LA. Today was supposed to be the day that Solace found a studio and got to work, but she woke up not feeling up to it at all. She found herself repeatedly googling if being homesick could make you physically sick as well, that's how horrible she felt. She ordered a few medications from the drugstore, but as time passed she found out that they didn't live up to their claims. She even resorted to a few of her mother's home remedies. Ginger ale, potato slices in her socks, and even a spoonful of honey to subside the torment.

Solace stepped out of the shower and immediately dampened her wet skin, before wrapping her body. She grabbed her phone and went to her call log, not having to scroll at all before seeing her mother's contact name. After a quick press she put the phone on speaker and continued with getting herself dressed. "Hey, baby. Is everything good with you?" Keri answered the phone.

"No." Solace answered before sniffing, "I don't feel good." She explained while slipping on a pair of denim shorts. Her plan was to go to the emergency room to get something to subside her symptoms. "Put a few potato slices in your socks and take a nap." Keri instructed.

"I did that earlier ." Solace replied while pushing her feet into her Vans Old Skool's. "I'm about to go the emergency room..see if they can give me something strong." She added.

Solace made the executive decision to not ship her vehicle to LA, since she didn't plan on being there for too long. This choice forced her to take Ubers everywhere, being that the area she was in wasn't necessarily walking friendly. "Stay on the phone with me until you get there." Keri instructed, causing Solace to lightly chuckle before letting out a cough. After doing so, Solace paused as she reflected on the fact that growing up, she didn't have to hide anything from her mother, so she wasn't sure why she was starting now.

"Actually, mommy...it's something I wanna talk to you about." Solace announced, making her way over to the living room and making nice on the sofa. "What's going on?" Keri questioned. If anybody was on edge, Solace was sure that it was her mother. This was her first time having one of her daughter's live away from home, and one of the daughters just so happened to be her youngest—Solace knew her mother was in shambles.

"I was pregnant...yesterday would've made 7 weeks, but a couple days before I left for LA, I had an abortion." Solace explained, allowing the feeling of guilt to revisit her. "And now I feel so bad—like I shouldn't be here, or like this isn't what I shouldn't be doing." She added in.

Keri sighed before the line went silent, giving Solace's cry all of the stage time. "So, you're coming back home?" She questioned, finally replying. "I don't know...I don't know what to do. I only did it because Rell wouldn't be here to help me—and then he got another baby on the way with a bitch I've never even met." Solace answered. She was sure this was just homesickness getting to her, but as a feeling she never felt before, it had completely shaken her up.

"Stop crying, baby. If staying there is what you feel like you need to do, then that's fine. It's your choice, because it's your life. Having a child is a big commitment, so understanding that you're not ready for having said commitment without the father is responsible. You don't have to beat yourself up for it." Keri consoled her daughter. Her words felt like the exact hug that Solace needed at the moment. Not once did Keri scold or berate her daughter for her choice, and it made Solace feel better. Though she was sad about the route she took and what happened to the unborn, Solace felt like it was her only option.

"Please don't tell grandma." Solace instructed while wiping her eyes, causing her mother to chuckle. "Listen, Lacey. I went through the wrath of rebelling so my kids wouldn't have to." Keri spoke, which was true. Solace's mother was raised on a tight ship due to her mother's prominent role in the church. She wanted her family to appear perfect, even if they were the farthest thing from such behind closed doors. This was a lot on Keri as a young girl and eventually, she ended up dancing to the beat of her own drum, which caused for a lot of rebelling as a teenager and young adult.