My Mouth is Yours(Phan Clean/Smut)

Just Best Friends Right? (Phan Imagine) Part 1

(This is old and shit lol)
Warning: Selfharm Trigger alert and sadness :c x Also, I know Dan and Phil aren't really together, and I know it's their personal business. But I love them to death, and their videos make life so much better for meh. So please, do not freak out. I love them rather or not Phan is real or not, but let's be honest, Phan is an amazing phandom.

Phil's P.O.V.

My eyes darted from the sink, to my own trembling hands. My old razor blade laid on the inside of the sink bowl, as my mind replayed the memories of earlier today. Forcing me to repeatedly relive the horror. The thoughts were slowly eating me alive. Tears threaten to spill from the bottoms of my eyelids, as I begged myself to not do this again. Not to go back to my old ways, I couldn't sink that low once again. I'm supposed to be so positive, and cheerful all the time. Why can't I seem to smile now? They know now, isn't that what I've always wanted?

Isn't it?

"Phil, please come out, you've been in there for an hour," Dan called from outside the door. His voice was soft, and drenched in pity, but comforting and calming.

I clasped my eyes closed in a squint, pulling my knees to my chest. I had locked the door, after hiding away in the bathroom.

But what was I hiding from?

The Internet have always had their suspicions, and their constant shipping between Dan and I. Dan and I use to read them together, and sometimes even secretly separately, and make witty jokes about how a ten year old must've written the fan fictions. Some of them were actually extremely entertaining, and some were even too close to reality.

Dan and I are not in a relationship, honestly I don't know where we currently are. I've always been confused with sexuality, and it took me up till the time I met Dan, to realize that I was bisexual. As Dan would say, "Don't worry, I still like boobs."

Earlier, when the day had started out as any ordinary day, I was just scrolling throughout my news feed on Twitter, such as things fans had tweeted to me. There were massive amount of tweets talking about Phan, my sexuality, and that I should make a video explaining it all.

I had pretended to laugh, since Dan was set directly beside me, and showed him all the 'ridiculous,' tweets. I was also slightly confused, I mean the whole Phan ships, and "omg your so gay, go kill yourself," tweets were normal. But this was like a never ending overload, and I was truly shocked. Why had the Internet suddenly taken a major interest into this?

So being the giant idiot I am, I made a video about it. I really don't think I was fully thinking at the time, but I did.

Big mistake.

*Flashback*

"Hey guys!" I waved to the camera as I do each video.

"So I noticed I've been getting a lot of tweets about my sexuality. And I'm still slightly uncomfortable when it comes to making videos, since I'm a very awkward person. And this is a very sensitive and a strange thing you could say, since I kind of push everything aside. I know, I'm usually a very positive person..., and my videos are usually silly, and meaning to make other people happy." I smiled slightly, my eyes falling to the ground.

"But this time it's going to be a bit more serious."

I sighed, before I continued.

"I knew I couldn't keep it hidden forever, I'm probably going to regret this, but y'know what; this is my coming out story." I scratched the back of my neck, before peeking back up at the camera.

This is it.

"I'm bisexual," I admitted to more myself, than anyone else.

"And before the phandoms go crazy, calm down, Dan is straight," I guess that was my pathetic way of admitting to liking Dan.