ᴇx-ʙᴏʏʀꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ɴᴇxᴛ ʜᴜꜱʙᴀɴᴅ

Chapter 37

Nishtha

What was that all about? He's been acting so strange lately, it makes me wonder if he's okay. I can't ask him, he'll probably just push me away.

I watched him walk out and then went to the bathroom and freshened up. I came out in simple shorts and a loose top, ready to sleep.
Oh.
I forgot I have to share a bed.
Uh Oh.
I went outside to let him know I'm sleeping but I didn't see him so I can't back in.

Sitting on the bed, resting my head against the bed stand, I scrolled through my phone. I got a bunch of texts from Aai, Baba, Rahul and even Vamika. I quickly called Aai and let her know everything was okay and made sure everything was okay with her to too. Then, I called Rahul, who was out with his friends.
Vamika now.
I took a deep breath and called her.
"Hey." I said.
"Hi Di!" Vamika said, through the screen.
"How are you?"
"I'm good, you?"
"I'm good. You called? All good?" I asked.
"Yep. I called because Bhai was not picking up the phone and I needed to ask him something."
"Oh. I can give it to him right now."
"Di, it's okay! I spoke to him."
"I.. I see." I replied, awkwardly.
What do I even say now?
Ever since Yuvaan yelled at me for talking to Vamika, I've kept my distance with her, even after the marriage. I don't want him yelling.
"Umm... I'm going to go sleep now." I said.
"Di." Vamika asked, "Can I ask you something?"
"S..Sure."
"How long are we going to keep doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Di... I know that they think wrong about you, and I've tried to tell them, they just don't listen, but can we please just try to be normal? Look... I myself am in guilt, Di, for what happened to you, I want to make things better. I wanted to make them better back then but you went away and I went to university and you deleted your Instagram and changed your number. I couldn't reach you at all. Di... I... I'm sorry. I haven't told Mom or Dad anything about the past, but I know that if I did, they'd believe me."
"What about your brother?" I asked. She kept silent, and I chuckled, "See... he hates me. He is always going to hate me Vamika. It's okay."
"We can convince Bhai, Di."
"No. We can't. If he didn't listen then, what makes you think he'll listen now?"
"Bhai was blinded by Bua... he might.. he might understand now Di. Can we please try?"
"Vamika, I'm only able to talk to you right now because he's not here. The truth is, he hates me. He always will. Let's just leave it there."
"So you'll just ruin your life?"
"Vami, my life wasn't mine since I met your brother. First he became my whole life, then he left... a part of me left with him."
"That part is with you now, Di."
"No it's not. He's moved on and —"
"Who told you he moved on?"
I felt confused when talking to her. What do I tell her? Vamika... she's so in the dark. She has no idea that Yuvaan and I are married to fix his playboy reputation, and she's asking me what makes me think he moved on... funny.
"Vamika... trust me. He has."
"He can't move on, Di. It's always been you."
"No Vamika... he has moved on. The sooner you accept, the better it'll be for you also."
"But I—"
"Vamika, I need to go sleep... and I should go before your brother catches us talking. I don't want him to get angry at me again. I'm sorry. I know you don't like this and trust me neither do I, but there are things about this marriage that you don't know yet and I can't tell you them. So, you have to trust me when I'm telling you that he's moved on and when I'm telling you that I am going to need to keep my distance from him and infact... all of you. I'm really sorry."
"Di..."
"I don't regret anything that we did or said back then Vamika... we were in the right, that's what matters. He won't ever see it, but if we hadn't done what we did or said what we did, you know how bad things would have been. This is a small price to pay for a big resolution. Don't worry about me.... Just don't feel guilty and don't ask me this again, please. You're planning to study ahead... do that, focus on that. Don't worry about me, okay?"
I saw her nod.
"Good. I'll go now. Goodnight."
"Goodnight Di."

I cut the call and kept my phone down when I was Yuvaan standing by the door - on his phone.
I panicked.
"H...how long have you been here?"
"Huh?" He said and looked up.
"I said—" I stopped midway when I realized he was removing his AirPods.
Oh thank God. He didn't hear.
"What were you saying?" He asked.
"N..Nothing." I said, "I'll be sleeping now."
"Me too." He said and closed the door.
I felt strange being in a room with him again. I felt oddly safe and I knew I couldn't let my guard down. I can't feel this way.
"Yeah." I said and lay down.
He lay down and suddenly I felt strange. I moved a bit to the side, giving him space.
"I won't bite." He said, and I turned to him.
"No... I.. I just like—"
"Nishtha, it's not the first time we're sharing a bed, you've spent half of college sleeping on me."
I felt a blush coming, so I quickly changed my position so I was leaning against the headrest again. However, I felt my hand being dragged and me being pulled down.
"Sleep." He said, as I lay down.
"Who were you talking to?" He asked after 5 mins of silence.
I got scared.
"Umm... vo... Adi.. Aditi." I lied.
"Oh. What about?"
"The trip..." 
"I see."
"Yeah." I said, praying that he'd sleep fast.
"What did she say?"
Why's he being so nosy? Why does he care?
"Why... why do you care?" I tried being rude.
He turned to me and lifted himself, leaning on his hand, "Because you're my wife?"
"F...for 2 years..." I whispered.
His gaze hardened as I saw him clench his jaw. Why does he get angry when I say it? He should be happy I haven't forgotten it.
He took a deep breath, "I don't care for how long, and this was just a simple question, why do you make everything so dark and deep?!"
"I'm just reminding you.... Otherwise you'll get angry at me, and what am I supposed to do?"
"What does that mean?"
"It means that...."
"That what?"
"Nothing." I said and got up.
I tried to leave but he caught my hand and pulled me close... so close that I was just inches away from him, "I asked you something Nishtha. I want an answer."
"I don't need to answer you."
"You're living under my roof. You need to answer me."
I looked at him and the reality snapped. I am living under his roof. I'm just a temporary adjustment, just there for the sake of a few days to fix his image. I felt tears in my eyes.
"You're right..." I said, hiding my face which was tearing up evidently, "I'm living under your roof." I said and got up, and grabbed my pillow.
"Ni... Nishtha..." he said, while getting up behind me, "Listen to me..."
"No." I said, turning around, "I don't want to."
"Nishtha, bachpan se aadat hai teri, sun toh le."
"I'm sorry Mr Nanda, that I'm not perfect, that I am living under your roof. I'll fix that."
"Nishtha..." he said, following me out, "Nishtha it was an accident it just slipped out..."
"Truth often slips out." I said while grabbing my bag, "Guess it did again."
"Where are you going? It's late. Pagalpanti mat kar Nishtha, come back."
"I'm sorry Mr Nanda, but I don't want to be a burden and stay under your roof anymore."
"It's late Nishtha. Don't do this."
I sighed, he was right. It's very late. So, I turned around to him, "Okay."
I saw his shoulders relax, "Can we sleep?"
"Sure." I said.
"Thank you. Come." He said, guiding his hands.
I didn't move. He stood by the room's doorway and turned back, "What happened?"
"I'm not sleeping on the same bed as you Mr Nanda; you'll accuse me of not only staying under the same roof, but also the same bed."
He sighed, "Nishtha. I won't say it again. Can you please come and sleep?"
"I'm sleeping here." I said, pointing to the couch.
"No, you'll freeze. Look, think practically."
"Practically. Of course. That's why you took me, right? To be your showcase wife, just because I fit your practicality aspect."
"Nishtha.... That's..." he stopped.
"That's what??" I said, anger rising.
"Nothing." He said, looking away.
"I thought so." I scoffed, "anyway, goodnight." I said and lay down on the couch.
"Nishtha..." he said but I turned around and look away from him. I heard him sigh and leave the room.

I was tearing up. When I was sure he had gone, I got up and sat. I felt a huge breakdown coming. I didn't want to do this but I can't get close to him and I need him to hate me, because he is never going to accept me as his wife, even if he says it. I'm just a temporary contract.

I got up and checked my phone, 2am. 
Did I overreact?
I don't know. I try to be calm but it just hurts me, more and more. I don't like this. I need to move on and find things in my life to keep me busy, for the next two years.

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