Necessary Villain

5 - Icebreaker

I look away from Lucas and back at my savior for a bit while rubbing the jacket I still have wrapped around my arm. The pain has somewhat subsided but it still stings. The bleeding has almost completely stopped, but it's probably best to leave the jacket covering it for a bit longer.

"How could someone be so tough?" I mutter to myself without meaning to while comparing my arm injury to his...

I would have succumbed to the pain and given up in seconds.

I have to admit it to myself, my mind has become somewhat obsessed with the guy. How is he so unafraid of death? How is he able to deal with the pain of a limb being cut off? I can't help but shutter as vivid images flash through my mind of that day, Christmas ten years ago.

"Why am I cursed to remember perfectly?"

To push it out of my mind I play the man saving me from the goblin over and over in my head. I endlessly watch my savior sacrifice his arm to save my life in great detail. Eventually, I run the image through my mind and any thoughts of that day are temporarily erased. As always, even if gruesome, I'd rather exalt something meaningless to me to play down the remembrance of what matters the most.

Obsession, It's a problem of mine, but it's also my greatest asset. While, due to hyperthymesia, I can't forget what I want to forget, I can at least suppress bad memories by creating a memory of greater value, even if it only be temporary. I just replay something in my mind over and over, tricking myself into overvaluing it and overshadowing the truly bad memories. The form of my self-trickery just so happens to manifest in the form of creating a savior. Then when otherwise my mind would be wandering and I would think of the past, I just focus all my thoughts on the savior.

I slap myself in the face to stop my wandering thoughts, forcing myself to smile and approach my group.

I need to prioritize myself first to survive, screw saviors for now, thoughts about saviors are reserved for when my mind begins drifting too far.

My group, my group, survival...

...

My group, they look interesting... to say it mildly.

After witnessing all of that, the only one of them that seems nervous is the girl who cranes her neck from left to right and twiddles her thumbs. Other than that, they don't seem too taken aback. No rapid shaking, no nonsensical questioning of what's going on. They just stand in a semi-circle quietly studying their surroundings while most likely also studying each other. Though, none of them dare to utter a word aloud.

I join their weird semi-circle then I wait for someone, anyone to speak. I glance at the tall guy with wavy dark hair who's so engrossed in observing his own tattoo that he doesn't even notice me. I don't think he'll even talk at all. The fact he's wearing all black doesn't help his case.

I look towards a big burly man who twiddles his mustache while staring off into the forest. He's wearing jean overalls and a flannel which makes him look like a stereotypical lumberjack.

Suddenly, a butterfly floats by, and, like a praying mantis, he locks onto it with utmost seriousness and tracks it until it's too far gone to be seen. Something about this man just screams idiot, even if he offers I don't necessarily want him leading us.

I look at the remaining guy who's quite handsome and is constantly trying to fix his short, brown hair and straightening his designer jacket. After observing him and where his attention is drawn it's obvious he's more concerned about women than figuring out what the hell is going on. He's not taking this seriously at all, is he? Did he forget he just got kidnapped?