A Love Like No Other - Aaron Hotchner

Lines in the Sand

I hadn't slept more than a few hours in the last two days. There was always more to do, more to untangle. Lynn's fragile state had all of us walking on eggshells, and the uncertainty was eating away at whatever thin threads of control i still had. I was constantly trying to balance my emotions, trying to keep a distance from the situation and view it with the objectivity Hotch had taught me, but it was like trying to grip sand - the tighter i tried to hold on, the faster it slipped away.

By the time i got to the precinct that morning, the weariness was so deep it felt bone-deep, like something that couldn't be shaken off with coffee or a cold shower. I didn't need a mirror to know that the dark circles under my eyes had become more pronounced. Even the team noticed; JJ gave me a once-over as i entered the bullpen and handed me a fresh cup of coffee with a knowing look. I accepted it without a word.

"Rough night?" she asked softly.

"Something like that," i muttered, taking a sip of the coffee. The bitter taste brought me back to life, at least temporarily. "Any updates on Lynn?"

"She's in a holding pattern," JJ said, her voice carefully neutral. "Garcia's still working on monitoring any calls or communication attempts from the prison, but nothing significant has come up since the intercepted letter."

I nodded, trying to process the information. It was good news, but it wasn't the relief i needed. There was still this looming sense of dread that i couldn't shake, like something waiting in the shadows.

"Just keep me updated," i replied. It was the best i could offer.

JJ gave me a sympathetic smile before heading back to her desk. I watched her for a moment, envying her calm demeanor. She seemed to have an endless well of patience and kindness, no matter how bad things got. I wasn't sure how she managed it, but i wished i could find even a fraction of that composure.

When i finally settled at my desk, i found myself glancing at Hotch's office. The door was closed, but the blinds were open, and i could see him inside, speaking on the phone, his brow furrowed in concentration. I didn't want to bother him - he had enough to worry about without adding my insecurities to the pile - but there was this tug in the back of my mind that kept pulling me towards him, this need for reassurance that i wasn't losing my grip.

It was a need i hated to admit, even to myself. But if there was one person i trusted to give me an honest answer, it was Hotch.

I took a deep breath and headed towards his office, knocking softly on the doorframe. He looked up, raising a hand to signal that he'd just be a moment. I nodded, waiting patiently until he ended the call and set the phone down.

"Emma," he said, his tone professional but warm. "What's on your mind?"

For a moment, i wasn't sure how to put my thoughts into words. I felt like i was on the edge of something - something i couldn't name, but i could feel it pressing in from all sides. When i finally spoke, my voice felt distant, as if i were listening to someone else.

"I need to talk about Lynn," i said, closing the door behind me.

Hotch leaned back slightly in his chair, his expression attentive. "Go on."

"I can't stop thinking about that letter," i admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "About the fact that she reached out to him again, after everything. I thought we were making progress, but now it feels like we're back to square one, and... I don't know if i'm doing the right thing."

He studied me for a moment, and i could see the gears turning behind his eyes. He was always so careful with his words, always weighing the impact of what he was about to say. Sometimes, i wished i had that kind of discipline, but right now, i just wanted honesty.