Wasted Potential

August 2020

Kenna could still remember that first August evening as if it had just been yesterday. It was her first year of film school, and everyday was packed with photography classes, camera gear tutorials, and late-night editing. She barely had a second to herself, let alone time for new friends - until Kade appeared in her inbox.

They had met almost by chance, through a mutual friend's post, sparking a conversation about music - they both loved Tyler, the creator. He had mentioned a favourite band, she replied with  a better one, and it snowballed from there. She learned Kade was also a first year student, only his world was about as different from hers as it could get. He was studying some sort of defense force program - though the details, he said, were "secret." That was one of the first things that made her laugh.

The more they talked, the more they found in common. He loved cars, photography, and soccer just about as much as she did, even supporting the same soccer team. They both came from big, loud families, each of them protective over their siblings, though in different ways. Kenna, the eldest sister, always felt the weight of responsibility, while Kade, the younger brother, reveled in being everyone's "little ducky."

Their conversations never really ended, only paused until the next message arrived. And then, one morning, as she lay in bed, her phone rang. A video call. Kade. She hadn't expected that.

Kenna fumbled for the answer button, her heart racing. The screen loaded, and there he was - sitting somewhere outside on campus, dressed in his thrasher hoodie and looking slightly windblown. She quickly realized she hadn't even brushed her hair.

"Hey," he said, his voice softer than she'd heard before. "Did I wake you?"

"No," she stammered, trying to steady her voice. "I was... just resting. You're on campus?"

"Yeah," he replied, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Just wanted to check in. How'd you sleep?"

The question took her by surprise, a level of sweetness she wasn't used to. She told him it had been a decent night, nothing special, and he nodded as though he was taking mental notes.

"What about you?" she asked.

He laughed, almost sheepishly. "Eh, it was alright. But, you know, I was kind of hoping I'd get to see you today."

Her heart fluttered. They spoke for nearly an hour that morning - talking about everything and nothing, his plans for the day, her assignments for school. And just as they were about to say goodbye, he looked into the camera and said, "I called just to hear your voice. See your face. You look adorable."

Kenna didn't know how to respond, but somehow, he always seemed to know how to make her feel seen. 

For the next month, Kade became her daily ritual. Every evening, they'd catch up on each other's days, sharing little snapshots of their lives. But, eventually, their routine started to fizzle out. Kenna noticed the conversations becoming shorter, less vibrant. And then, almost out of nowhere, Nahum came along.

In a strange way, the month with Kade had been like a sweet dream almost - one she was afraid to wake up from. As the days with Nahum passed, her memories of Kade drifted into the background, yet they never really left.