Whats wrong with me?

Part 1

As the description of this work already suggested, this is not a story. Dont bother reading this if you're searching for some amazing ficiton to read in your free time. As I already said thats just me ranting about stuff I cant understand, tryna figure them out by writing something down. Today is the 31th of october, its halloween. They invited me for a party, but I of course politely declined saying I'd have to work. Why should I bother going? Its pointless. Dont get me wrong here, its not like I never go to partys, its just that I hate them , so I try to avoid them as much as possible. Im only going if its a birthday party of a person important to me or something like that. I guess you're now thinking I must be a boring teenager, not going out partying around and enjoying life. Dont get me wrong for a second time, its not like im boring (or so I do think), its just that I'd rather stay home reading a book instead of going to a party. Why is that? Well, thats the crucial question, and thats why Im writing this. I really dont understand why I despise those moments of community so much and how ""normal"" people love them. I honestly see them as empty moments, its like they're trying to forget everything about life just by listening to music at monstruous volume and dancing like there is no tomorrow. Why would you want to forget everything? And dont even let me start talking about people behave there, girls just go around kissing random boys, and  boys lowkey do the same. They smoke, drink and even get in physical relationship that last just for the night. Everything they do seems just like a try to escape this world: smoking and drinking makes you confused, listening to that kind of music just destroy your hears and lowkey isolate you from the rest of the world, getting in those relationship is also a way of escaping because they last a single night and then you dont have any kind of boind or obligation towards that person. In conclusion, why would you like to escape this world like that? Is it really that bad? Im not really sure about it....