Shinigami | COD Ghost x Reader

Chapter 1

Whosever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a God.

But Shinigami is neither of those.

Loneliness is a shadow dancing at the edge of her existence, a specter that cloaks her in its whispered embrace.

Like a shinigami in a world of souls, she walks the line between realms, but with every step, the chill of solitude clings to her like a frayed thread, weaving itself into the fabric of her being.

It's a companion that never strays too far, a haunting melody that plays softly in the background, reminding her that even in the company of others, she carries the weight of her eternal solitude—a silent witness to the lives that flicker and fade in her presence, yet never quite touch her heart.

It was her curse, she believes.

And tonight is no different.

Shinigami sat at her modest wooden desk in the dim light of her barrack room, drowning in her own mind while the ink-dipped quill shaking in her hand.

The clamor and camaraderie of the base had faded into a haunting silence, replaced by the echoing memories of the lives she had touched, only to see them snuffed out like the flickering flame of a dying candle.

As she dipped the quill once more, the weight of her decisions bore down on her shoulders like a cloak of shadows.

Every heartbeat reminded her of the souls lost along her path—the echoes of laughter that once filled her childhood, the friends who became family during her training, and the fellow soldiers who had bravely stood by her side, only to disappear into the void.

In her heart of hearts, she believed they had one thing in common: proximity to her was a death sentence.

Just like how she got the nickname, Shinigami. A God of Death.

It had begun with her parents.

A car accident on a rainy night shattered her world when she was just ten. She was asleep during the crash, blissfully unaware until she woke to the sound of muffled sobs.

She could still picture the grief-stricken faces of family friends, their expressions filled with sympathy and pity as they relayed the gut-wrenching news.

From that day forward, any love that dared to draw close to her felt poisoned by an unseen force.

School had been no refuge.

The few friends she made were met with tragic fates—accidents, illnesses, and misfortunes followed her like a dark cloud.

She had never made a true friend again; each smile she offered became a harbinger of doom for those who ventured too close. Isolation became her defense, and her heart hardened like steel.

People saw her as the untouchable "Shinigami," the death-bringer.

Love was a luxury she learned to live without.

The military was no different.

In her heart, she believed she had signed her soul away upon enlisting. Her performance quickly garnered respect and admiration, and she ascended ranks with an ease that belied the torment inside.

Yet with every mission completed, she was forced to reckon with the casualties that inevitably followed.

The team members she led were not simply colleagues; they had become her brothers and sisters in arms.

But they, too, fell victim to the curse that dogged her.

Even if the latest mission had been a success, but upon returning, she felt only a hollow victory. She'd watched helplessly as soldiers she had trained and fought alongside were lost in an ambush.

It was the catalyst for her decision.

As she unwrapped her thoughts and fears onto the parchment, she felt a strange sense of catharsis. "To whom it may concern," she started the letter, pausing as a fresh wave of grief flashed before her eyes—faces, names, memories swirling chaotically in her mind like a storm.

"I, (Y/N) (L/N), hereby resign effective immediately," she wrote, her heart racing as she penned the words. Each stroke of the quill felt like a farewell, a release from the weight she had carried for far too long.

Images of her last team flickered like dying embers.

The warmth of Kyra's laughter, the strength of Adam's unwavering support, and the intensity of Aiden's fierce loyalty haunted her.

All gone.

A bittersweet symphony played in her head, the melodies of their lives cutting into her soul.

Shinigami felt as though she were an entire nation devoid of light—the sun had long since set, leaving nothing but eternal twilight.

She paused, her thoughts racing like wild horses. What could she tell her grandpa about her resignation? The thought scared her.

Amongst the chaos of her life, only her grandpa survived her curse. Even she and her grandpa don't know how that works. But one thing for sure, she was glad to still have him by her side even though he never really showed direct affection to her since he's a hard and stoic man himself, a veteran from military who taught her about military.

But then again, the world outside the safe confines of the base had never felt welcoming. What if she lost them again, only this time, it would be to her own uncertainty?

Her fingers hesitated above the paper. "What should I do?" she muttered, her eyes stinging with unshed tears.

Just then, the door swung open, and Commander Reyes stepped into her room, misreading the weight of the moment for a lighter interaction. "Hey, Shinigami, are you ready for debriefing?" he called, his voice breaking through her reverie.

Shinigami. The callsign felt like a curse, but she can't help it. It's better this way for them than to let them know her real name.

She glanced up rather sharply, feeling as if an intrusion disrupted her sanctuary of sorrow.

"Give me a moment," she replied, not trusting her voice to carry the emotions bubbling just beneath the surface. Commander Reyes simply agreeing then stepped out of her room, waiting outside.

Alone again, the world felt like it shrank, the walls closing in as the gnawing fear visited her again.

With a deep breath, she closed her eyes, inhaling sharply, gripping the quill then quickly finished the letter. She then place the quill back to its place and fold the letter and sealed it in the envelope.

She then place the letter inside her pocket before she gets up and leave the room.

As she walked out of her room to meet the commander, Shinigami simply greet him with a nod of her head and follow behind him as they walked to the briefing room.