𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓗𝓸𝓶𝓮: The Evelyn Fairfax Files

🐛100% Off (Howdy and Eve)🐛

"Howdy, your milkshakes never disappoint!"

I exclaimed as I took another sip of the chocolate milkshake Howdy made for me. I was hanging out with Howdy while I was waiting for Barnaby and Wally.

"Glad you enjoy it, Evie!" Howdy replied while wiping off the kitchen counters. "I always have a usual for my second favorite usual!"

"Oh?" I cocked my head. "Who could be your- oh. Right. Eheh!"

"Y'know, speaking of usual," Howdy leaned on the countertop. "Where is that silly beagle?"

"He's on his way," I told him. "He and Wally said they'll be here in a few minutes. Thank goodness for that. I need Barnaby to pay for this with one of his jokes."

"On the house this time, sugar," Howdy winked. "I've been wanting to tell this funny joke to Barnaby for ages now! Heard it at one of my family reunions and started guffawing!"

"Oh, I don't think I got to meet your family before," I mentioned.

"Oh, they're all lovely bunch of caterpillars, Evie!" Howdy pulled his family portrait off of the wall, and I could see there was a LOT, "Lemme introduce them to ya!"

"Oh, uh, well you don't have to-"

"There's my parents Hiya and Biya there, my sister Seeya and her hubby Beeya, boy! They're a pair! My nephews two, Howdo and Yoodo and my brother Latter too; Rich aunt Toodaloo with her husband Adieu and their best friend Sue; Cousin Skedaddle too; and who could forget Gam Gam Sally Tations! And there's more! Howzit and Whatzit and Whatnot and Whatsit; Adios, Cheers, Comin' and Goin' and-"

"Woah woah woah!" I stopped him. "Okay! Uh, sorry to cut this short but that's...a lot. I could barely remember all the names when I listened to one of your Christmas records."

"My what?"

"Nothing!" I blurted. "But anyways, you have a nice family." That's when I sipped on my milkshake as I looked around the store and noticed the signs. Each one of them said the same thing: "100% Off". It made me think for a second before asking Howdy about it, "Hey, Howdy?"

Howdy turned to me as he was dusting off a high shelf, "Yea, Evie?"

"How come all your signs say 100% off?" I asked. "That's basically giving things away at this point."

"Well, yea that's basically it!" Howdy confirmed.

"But how do you make a living off of it?" I continued. "Like...how do you make money?"

"I usually just let the neighbors tell me their good jokes, riddles, and poems!" Howdy explained. "No currency needed."

"But that doesn't quite make sense...or in this case 'cents'," I gave a little chuckle.

Howdy was unamused, "Kid, make that joke again and I'll have to confiscate the rest of that milkshake."

"Sorry," I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly. "I just don't want you to go out of business or have your items stolen or-"

"Augh! Don't mention my items being stolen!" Howdy said with a sniff. "That would be quite tragic indeed!" After Howdy calmed down, he leaned forward to put a hand on my shoulder, "Evie, you have a beautiful soul, and I appreciate you being concerned for your ol' friend Howdy Pillar. But no need to worry, okay? The neighbors here are like family to me, and it's my job to supply them with whatever they need. And no worries about me running out. I always am prepared no matter what! I know what to order, when to order. And it's alllll 100% off, with a good joke or two."

Howdy's words made me smile, "I...I appreciate the reassurance. Thanks, Howdy."

"Anytime, kiddo," Howdy ruffled my hair just as he noticed Barnaby and Wally walking in the door.

"Well if it isn't my favorite regular!"

"Hiya, Howdy!" Barnaby greeted. "Me and my little buddy will get the usual."

"Comin' right up!" Howdy called. "Just tell me one of your best, Barn, and you'll get it 100% off! Oh, and wait until you hear the joke I heard at my family's reunion!"

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Next Neighbor: Eddie