The sun was beginning its descent, casting a warm golden hue over the bustling school courtyard. Yoora sat under the sprawling branches of an old cherry tree, its blossoms gently swaying in the evening breeze. Her sketchbook lay open on her lap, pages filled with half-finished drawings that reflected her tumultuous emotions. Despite the laughter and chatter of her classmates, a heavy silence enveloped her, a reminder of the void Yushi had left behind.
“Hey, Yoora! Your art is really amazing!” The voice broke through her reverie, drawing her attention. She looked up to see Sion approaching, his brown hair slightly tousled and a genuine smile brightening his face.
“Thanks,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. It felt surreal to receive compliments again, especially since her heart still felt heavy with grief. “But I don’t think it’s anything special.”
Sion plopped down beside her, his enthusiasm undeterred. “No, seriously! Your work has so much emotion in it. I can feel it,” he said, flipping through the pages of her sketchbook. “This one, especially—it’s powerful. You really know how to convey what you’re feeling.”
Yoora felt a small warmth spread through her chest. It had been a while since someone had acknowledged her art so openly. “It’s just… how I process things,” she murmured, looking down at the intricate lines and soft shading. “After Yushi… it’s been hard to create anything.”
Sion nodded, a flicker of understanding in his eyes. “Art is a great way to express that. You know, we should collaborate on a project for art class. I think we could create something amazing together.”
She hesitated. The idea of working closely with someone else stirred a mix of excitement and apprehension. “Are you sure? I mean, I’m still figuring things out.”
“Of course! We can take it slow. Just let it be fun,” he encouraged. “No pressure, just creating something we love.”
After a moment of contemplation, Yoora found herself smiling. “Okay, let’s do it.”
---
As the days turned into weeks, Yoora and Sion spent more time together. Their collaboration flourished, transforming into a friendship that was unexpected yet comforting. They worked after school, bouncing ideas off each other, sharing snacks, and laughing over silly jokes that lightened the weight of her heart.
One afternoon, as they were setting up for another painting session in the art room, Sion shared his own journey with art. “I started painting when I was younger. It was my escape, you know? My way of coping with everything going on around me.”
“What do you mean?” Yoora asked, intrigued.
Sion’s expression turned serious. “I had a rough time at home. My parents divorced, and art was my refuge. It helped me express feelings I didn’t know how to put into words.”
Yoora felt a pang of empathy. She had been so caught up in her own grief that she hadn’t considered what others might be dealing with. “I’m sorry, Sion. That sounds really tough.”
“Yeah, but it made me who I am. I’m really grateful for it,” he said, flashing a small smile. “And now I get to share it with people like you.”
Yoora found herself laughing, feeling a sense of warmth spread through her. For the first time since Yushi’s death, she felt genuinely connected to someone. But as her feelings for Sion began to deepen, she found herself grappling with guilt. Was it wrong to start moving on? Was she betraying Yushi's memory?
---
One crisp Saturday afternoon, Sion suggested they go for a walk to gather inspiration for their project. They strolled through the local park, the sun filtering through the trees and casting playful shadows on the ground. Laughter and chatter surrounded them, and for a moment, Yoora felt lighter.
Then, out of nowhere, she saw them. Yushi’s family was walking towards them, deep in conversation. Her heart dropped, and the world around her seemed to blur. Panic surged through her veins, and she instinctively pulled away from Sion.
“Yoora?” Sion’s voice broke through her fog. “What’s wrong?”
She couldn’t answer. She felt frozen, a wave of emotions crashing over her—grief, guilt, and an overwhelming sense of loss. She wanted to run, to hide, to escape the painful reminder of what she had lost.
Sion noticed her distress and gently took her arm, guiding her away from the path where Yushi’s family walked. “Let’s step over here for a moment,” he said, leading her to a quieter spot beneath a large oak tree.
“I can’t face them,” Yoora whispered, her voice trembling. “I don’t know how to… It feels wrong to be moving forward, to be here without him.”
Sion’s grip on her arm softened, and he stepped closer. “It’s okay to feel that way. But you deserve to live, to create, and to find happiness. Yushi wouldn’t want you to be stuck in grief forever.”
Tears welled in Yoora’s eyes. “But what if they think I’m forgetting him? That I’m moving on too quickly?”
“Yoora, you’re not forgetting him. You’re honoring him by living your life. It’s okay to cherish his memory and still find joy. It doesn’t diminish what you had; it just means you’re allowing yourself to grow.”
Her heart raced as she considered his words. Sion was right. Yushi had always encouraged her to pursue her dreams, to embrace life’s possibilities. “I just don’t know how to do that,” she admitted, her voice cracking.
“Let’s take it one day at a time. You have your art, and you have me as a friend. You’re not alone in this.” He offered a reassuring smile, and in that moment, Yoora felt a flicker of hope.
---
That evening, after returning home, Yoora felt a wave of inspiration wash over her. She pulled out her paints and began to create a piece that had been brewing in her mind. As she painted, she poured all her emotions onto the canvas—grief, love, and the warmth of new beginnings.
Her brush strokes danced across the surface, the colors blending and swirling in a beautiful chaos that reflected her journey. She painted Yushi’s face, capturing his warm smile and the light in his eyes. Surrounding him were vibrant colors symbolizing her journey through grief and the hope that now began to flicker in her heart.
After hours of painting, she stepped back and admired her work. It wasn’t just a painting; it was a testament to her love for Yushi and the acceptance that life continued on. This was her way of keeping him alive within her, while also embracing the future.
As she cleaned her brushes, she felt a sense of clarity and purpose. The following day, she would share this painting with Sion and the others, but more importantly, she would carry Yushi’s memory with her as she stepped into this new chapter of her life.
YOU ARE READING
Holding on to Yushi || Tokuno Yushi
Fanfiction❝I've spent so long trying to forget you, but now that you're here... it feels like losing you all over again every time we say goodbye.❞ ㅡ Bae Yoora ❝"I wish I could reach through this phone and hold you, Yoora... just one last time.❞ ㅡ Tokuno Yush...
