weddings & funerals ➺ j.sc | ✔

two

"Yeah, you too."

That's what you'd said back, when you'd broken up.

You hadn't seen Sungchan since your cousin's wedding sixteen days ago, and yes, you were absolutely counting the days. And yet it still surprised you to see his caller ID lighting up your phone screen. It didn't surprise you so much the speed with which you picked up his call.

"Sungchan?"

There was heavy breathing on the other end, punctuated by a thin, quiet whine.

"Sungchan?!" You repeated, jumping to your feet off your couch. "Are you okay?"

"Y/N, I'm sorry..." He sniffled, and you could already imagine his tear-stained face.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay," you reassured him gently. "What's going on?"

"Are you busy right now?" He asked through a sob. "I'm sorry, my grandmother's funeral is today and—"

"I'll be over in ten."

* :✧˚ ·♡. ───

"Thank you," Sungchan mumbled into your shoulder as you hugged each other just past his front door.

"I'm sorry, Sungchan," you whispered, squeezing him as tight as you could. "I'm so sorry."

Sungchan had been really close to his grandmother, she was practically a third parent to him growing up. He shook in your arms now, and you continued to hold him close.

"We need to leave soon, or we're going to be late," he declared, finally pulling back. "Oh, God, your shirt. I'm sorry."

You looked down at your black blouse, where there was a large pooling of tears and presumably snot as well. You waved his concerns away. "It's okay. You get ready, I'll take care of it."

As Sungchan got dressed in his room, you took a damp washcloth to your top in the kitchen, cleaning it off as best you could. It was black, it's not like you could really see much in the first place. You were waiting for him in the living room when he came back out mostly dressed, sheepishly holding out his singular nice tie to you.

"Can you help me?" He requested. "My fingers are shaking too much."

"Of course." You took it and he sat down on the arm of the couch. Standing in front of him, you hooked the material around the back of his neck, then looped it easily, your own fingers moving with muscle memory. Sungchan knew how to tie a tie, but you had insisted he show you how to tie one. Whenever you two went out to events together that necessitated him wearing one, you would help him put it on, then he'd help you with your necklace in return. Really, it was just an excuse to exchange kisses in between, which you refrained from doing this time.

"You should know..." Sungchan's head was down, watching you adjust his tie. "I still haven't told them. I'm sorry."

You gave the tie a pat to signal that you were finished, and smiled softly at him. "It's fine. You've got other things to worry about today."

* :✧˚ ·♡. ───

"Oh, Sungchan, Y/N," Sungchan's mother found you as soon as you had stepped foot in her house for the wake, kissing her son's cheek before enveloping you in her arms.

"Hi, Mrs. Jung," you hugged her back. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." Her eyes were misty when you pulled back. She kept you close, though, fixing a stray piece of hair for you. "Sungchan said you weren't going to be able to make it."

"She got someone to cover for her," Sungchan explained for you.

Mrs. Jung smiled and nodded. "Thank you, sweetheart. My mom adored you."

"She was a wonderful woman," you agreed fondly.

"Here, Y/N, let's get something to drink," Sungchan suggested, gently ushering you away from his mom with a hand on the small of your back.

You gave her hand one last squeeze before letting him guide you over to the kitchen. It was devoid of other mourners, and you silently watched him take down two glasses from the cabinet and fill them up with water.

"Do you want to go outside?" You asked as he handed you your water.

He just nodded, and you took his free hand to pull him over towards the door that you knew led to the backyard. The two of you were the only ones out here, which made sense, as it was the middle of winter, but you didn't complain as the cold air nipped at any bare skin.

"I don't get it," he stated, staring out at the dry, brown grass. His words came out as white puffs in the crisp air.

"Get what?" You replied quietly.

"What I'm even supposed to be doing right now. Here," he explained, and you watched his throat bob up and down as he swallowed thickly. "I'm sick of crying. I at least don't want to cry for four straight hours in front of a bunch of people."

"Why not?"

"Why don't I want to cry for four straight hours in front of a bunch of people?" He repeated incredulously, staring at you this time.

"Yeah," you shrugged. "She's your grandmother, you're grieving. If that's how you feel, like you need to cry for four straight hours... Then you should."

He shook his head, taking a sip of his water despite the ice cubes in it. "Not here. I'll cry for four hours later."

"Okay."

"Talk to me about something. Anything," he prompted you, shuffling closer until you were shoulder-to-shoulder.

You looked away from his red eyes, telling yourself that they were watering from the cold. "Uhm, I watched this documentary about penguins the other day."

"Penguins?"

"I fell asleep halfway through, though..."

Sungchan laughed loudly at that, keeling forward as he wiped at the tears that finally spilled over. A smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you watched him, and you didn't even try to defend yourself. Once he had righted himself a little bit, still teary-eyed and grinning broadly, he nudged you with his elbow, "Well tell me what you remember from before you fell asleep."

"Alright, alright..."