'Am I really doing this? Leaving Berlin, the city that's always been in my dream places & when Im finally living the moment, my dream city is now my home, it's been several years, how can I leave certainly & for what, for Pakistan? The land of my birth, it's not like that I don't wanna go but I'm super anxious it's a life-changing decision after all.'
'What if I'm making a mistake? What if I regret this later?'
But what if this is exactly what I need? A chance to reconnect with my family, my friends, my owns, to find a sense of belonging.
'I was born in Pakistan, but I've spent most of the precious & important moments of my life outside its borders.'
Now, returning feels both familiar and foreign,will Pakistan feel like home again? Or will it be a constant struggle to adjust?
I think of the food, the environment, the language, the customs... everything will be so different, yet so familiar.
'I remember the stories my grandparents told me in my childhood, the love and warmth that filled our home. Maybe Pakistan holds a piece of my heart that I've been still carrying in my heart.'
'What if this move changes me in ways I can't imagine? What if it's the best decision I ever made?'
'Or what if it's not? What if I'm leaving behind everything I know and love for nothing?'
Ugh, my mind is a mess. Why can't I just make a decision and stick to it?
'I guess that's the thing about taking leaps of faith – you never truly know where you'll land.'
Huh, how much I love 'the poetic' side of me.
Well I guess I'll have to talk to baba (father) on this, He gives the best of the advices, I can't remember of even once when I followed them & regretted.
I didn't wasted any more minute & dialed baba's cell, he picked on the first ring.
"Assalamualaikum baba (peace be upon you, father), aap ki beti ko fesla Lene mein mushkil horhi hai" I made a annoyed face at the last sentence.
(Your daughter is having trouble in making the decision)
"Walaikumsalam beta (& upon you be peace,child), he chuckled, acha jee tabhi mein kahun, meri beti tou itni khush khush rehti hai ye awaaz ajj murjhai hui kyun hai, aap bataiye beta, woh English mein kya kehte hain 'I'm all ear's', he said the last line with an funny accent.
(Oh that's the matter, I thought my daughter is always like happy, why does her voice sounds so irritated today, you tell child, well what do they say in English)
Reyan laughed,"Baba you never leave a moment to make me laugh, well its like..." I explained him everything.
He sighed,"Arre, beta, it's not like you're burning your bridges, you can always go back anytime, but... we miss you so much. You've fulfilled your dreams, and I've been proud to support every decision you've made."
His words tugged at my heartstrings.
"We've missed having you around, Reyan your mother, your sibling, your friends & your dearest niece... we all miss you terribly."
I could sense the longing in his voice.
"Baba, I know. But this isn't just about me. It's about my career, my future..."
"Your future is whatever makes you happy, beta," he interrupted gently. "And right now, being close to us would make you incredibly happy I know that & remember no one cares about your future more than me."
His words resonated deep within.
"I promise, Reyan, I'll support you every step of the way. Just as I always have."
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.
"Baba, I love you."
"Main bhi, beta (me too child)," he replied, his voice choked with emotion, Now come home I have to tell you something important once you are here."
"ok Allah Hafiz" ( may Allah protect you) I said before hanging up the call.
As I hung up the phone, reality hit me. I had a long to-do list ahead.
'Okay, Reyan, think this through', I told myself.
Notify the homeowner, settle pending rent and utility bills, inform the bank about my account changes, tie up loose ends at the office, packing! Where do I even start?
I took a deep breath and began mentally organizing tasks.
"Homeowner first", I decided.
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ᵀᴴᴱ ᵂᴬᴵᵀᴱᴿ ᴮᴼᵞ𓂀
General FictionIn the soft glow of a quaint restaurant! Entranced by the enigmatic smiles and mysterious eyes, ensnared in a web of fascination, forever changed by the whispered promise of 'maybe' and the siren call of the unknown.