Unwritten Rules

Tara's Perspective - Part 1

I woke up in the back of my mom's Honda CR-V. My dog, Pugsley, is looking out the window with his tongue out.

'Hey. My mom got me this stupid ass diary to write in. It's been six days since my dad decided to kill himself. It kinda sucks though, now I don't get two Christmases. Mom made us move to a new town to 'get a fresh start'. What a load of shit. I've moved to so many different schools and they're all the exact same. My mom makes us move because of her fuck ass job. She makes empty promises like 'Don't worry! We are gonna stay this time for a while!!'. Like, It feels like every other day I'm packing my stuff into boxes and sitting in the back seat of my mom's car again. Either that or I have my whole life in a couple of bags to take to my dad's house. That isn't gonna happen anymore though. His funeral was yesterday, and now my mom is acting like he never existed. It just doesn't make sense. I feel like the only person I can talk to is Pugsley, and he's not even a person. He's a baby pug that we got around 7 weeks ago. But hey, I guess I have this diary now.' I write. As I get out of the car, I grab the boxes with all of my life's possessions in it.

"Hurry up and get moving before it rains!" My mom nags at me. I pick up my pace as I look up into the gloomy sky. New house, new rooms, new school. It's nothing new.

I place my snowglobe on the shelf, next to the picture of my dad. I lay on my freshly made bed when my mum comes in with the weirdest outfit I've ever seen her in. Usually, she's in mom jeans and an oversized t-shirt with heaps of burnt holes from all the cigarettes she smokes. Her hair is usually a mess and in a bun. But today is different. She has her hair straightened and styled, she is in white skinny jeans, a black shirt, and a white, sparkly cardigan with the first button done up. She hands me a rosary and nods.

"What the actual fuck is this!?" I ask.

"I thought that church could help us with our fresh start!" She smiles warmly. This is one of the only times I've ever seen her smile like that. When she smiles normally, she has yellow teeth and her breath reeks of cigarettes and alcohol. It looks like she's used 1000 whitening strips because her teeth are perfectly white. I would say that she got veneers, but we are way too poor for that. She doesn't even look like my mom, she looks like one of those Christian people from Pinterest. One of the ones that you see and think that they go to church every Sunday and have the 'perfect' life.

As I scroll on TikTok, I look at the time. '8:34 A.M.' It reads. Mom said that church starts at 9:30, so I have around an hour to get ready. I grab one of the only dresses I have. It is a short black dress with flowy arms and ruffles around the neck. I put on a pair of white tights and some Doc Martens and walk toward the bathroom. I style my black curtain bangs and begin to do my makeup. Mom said not to do anything 'too much' for church, so I keep it simple. I put on some light concealer, highlighter, and fake lashes. That should do it, it looks natural enough.

'Mom wants this whole 'fresh start' to work out so well, but it's honestly just changing our lives. Who knows, maybe I'll love church and change since I was a little kid. When my dad helped out at the church, I hated going there. Then my parents got divorced. That kinda sucked, but double presents I guess.' I begin to write in my diary. Mom then yells at me to get going. I check the time before I leave and see that it is 9:04 A.M. We live a little bit out of town, so I kinda get why we are going early.

As I walk into the church, everything seems boring, except for one thing; A brunette girl in a long white dress with flowers all over it. I walked into a pew, my mom slightly pushing me to guide me. She guided me directly next to the girl I first laid eyes on. I look over at her, only to see her kneeling and praying. I'm not sure what I expected in a church, but It was SO much more boring than I anticipated. I begin to zone out until we are told to stand. Before I knew it, church was over. Because it was the first day of summer, they had a brunch outside to celebrate. I worked up the courage to speak to the brunette girl.

"Hi. What's your name?" I ask. I notice what flowers are on her dress - forget-me-nots.

"I'm Willow! And you?" She gives me a light smile.

"I'm Tara."

As our conversation continues, I realize just how different our lives are. Her family seems really uptight and strict. Mine is the opposite. She shows me a photo of her house, and it doesn't even look real. It looks like something that you would only see in movies. A modern, white house with freshly trimmed grass and bushes. It's clear that she lives in the rich part of town. My mom taps my shoulder and says that it's time to go.

"Before I go, do you wanna go to the mall later?" I ask.

"Sure!! My parents just met your mom, so I should be allowed to go with you. My parents only let me go out if they know where we are going, who their parents are, what time we will be home, and all that stuff. Also, I'm not allowed to leave after 8:30!" She smiles.

I wave and hop into the passenger seat of my mom's car.