Tanner's Unrelenting Soul (The Cunningham's Book Two)

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

TANNER*

What the fuck did she just say?! I must be dreaming or something. This can’t be real. Only a few hours ago, I had thought I was ready to create a family of my own, but…

“Can I lie down for a minute?” 

The thoughts I just thought came crashing into me once more. I’m not sure I heard her right. I’ve got to be imagining things. Kaysen, being pregnant with twins, can’t be real. She is trying to pull one over on me. Maybe she was trying to see how I would react to a situation like this. I just needed to breathe for a minute before I passed out.

“Here, lay down, and I’ll get you some water,” Kaysen said as she gave me a pillow and walked off.

I laid there and did the breathing exercises my therapist had taught me and hoped when I opened my eyes; I would wake up in my bed. This was all too much for me. Could I be a father? What kind of father would I make? Can I handle this? Fuck!

I heard Kaysen set a cup down on the nightstand, and then the bed dipped down, and I knew this wasn’t a dream. I had to tread softly here, but I did not know how to deal with this situation. 

Kaysen said she wanted to start over and go slow with dating and getting to know each other; but isn’t getting married the right thing to do, since she’s pregnant? I needed to make an honest woman out of her. There’s no way she’s having my babies out of wedlock. Aw, fuck! I’ve seriously fucked up in massive proportions. What the hell do I do?

“Are you ok, Tanner? If it makes you feel any better, I had the same reaction today when I found out.” 

She found out today and didn’t tell me? Now I know why she was fidgeting in her seat. I can’t be angry. It’s my fault we’re in this situation. I’m a fucking idiot.

“I; I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute to think.” 

“Ok,” Kaysen said as she laid next to me and laid her head on my chest.

“So maybe we could get a place together? I’ll need to talk to my cousin Blaze and my brother Jace about maybe building us a house. But we could rent for a while until then. I have loads of money, so that won’t be an issue. You and Cora could stay with me. I don’t know what the next step should be; I’ve never been in a situation like this, but I’m glad it’s with you,” I said as I thought out loud.

“I meant what I said before, Tanner. I want us to date and get to know each other.” She then ran her fingertips under my shirt and up to my chest, saying she didn’t want to rush things with us.

I was trying so hard to keep from getting an erection; that’s what got Kaysen and me in this mess, to begin with. Kaysen was making it hard to keep a level head.

“We’re having twins together; I feel like we need to be more. Like maybe we should get married. We should at least live together, Kaysen,” I said as I kept trying to breathe in and out evenly.

“Tanner, you don’t have to do this, you know. Although I didn’t want to tell you, I felt it was necessary. I don’t want you doing anything you don’t want to do. I’m not trying to trap you; my birth control failed. I can do this on my own. I’m giving you an out,” Kaysen said, and I went to sit up and rolled her over so that she was on her back.

Looking deep into her vibrant sky-blue eyes, I cradled her head. “I don’t want an out Kaysen; I want you. If you will allow me and if Cora desires it, I hope to be her father someday, as well as the father of our babies. I’m sorry I was such an asshole and left you hanging, but I’m here now, and I’ll never leave you again,” I pleaded.

Kaysen put her hands through my hair and smiled. “I want you, Tanner, but I still want to take this slow. My next appointment is in two weeks. I would like for you to come if you can.”