Life Story

First Job

It was summer June 2013 I was migrated to United states of america, i assumed fate takes you where you belong,the most beautiful country in the world where freedom means the most important aspect of human life,people seems to be happy when I first landed here on 27th of June ,I was excited to know more .new place new faces and even,the new excitements born inside me was obvious.i was very happy to see my collegue after 14 years ,he didn't even thought that I was coming to US at first place ,we met we chat we had lot of talk about our past days.it was after a week I was feeling bore sitting at home while all of my frens has to work ,that's the lifestyle of developed countries ,only on weekends we used to have time to talk for few hours.

Next week I decided to work,then I joined a Indian restaurant name"Aditi Indian Kitchen located at DC ,owner was very helpful person,I was given job of server and cashier though my language was different I felt difficulties in communicating but that was nice place to work on it.i served many happy regular customers ,I made friends of all kinds from professionals to the university professors ,childrens to the seniors,I was happy like I used to be because I have always felt a kind of peace within me ,my interests we're to serve people who are in need of help and care ,it may express my proudiness if I mention how much I help cancer effected people in India when I was student,and everywhere when I found someone in need of something I can give.doing this gives me pleasure and I always place these things on top of my priorities,regardless of my situation,financially or emotionally.this is the only reason I can say I am human.
Things were going good without even knowing I spent my two weeks in my new job.then this day came where I found little different in the scenario.
It was July 26 2013 ,I was at work as usual,we open restaurant at 10:00am ,everything was ready for customer even busy hours will be around 12-2pm ,customer flow was like everyday,we had college tours from different parts of the country,they can be easily identified from their dress code and the discount voucher on their hand,one by one we keep on serving them the choices of foods they like in an Indian style,spicy tasty and healthy.when we arrive our busy hour then owner showed up and help us to serve guests,it was too rush .everyone was happy in serving and getting foods,among them were regular customers and new guests as well, waiting in line ,even minimum waiting time was around 15 mins,looks like they need Indian food.i did not notice a girl while serving ,but later that evening around 6:15pm I was cleaning the cash register and doing closing procedure for the day as we close exactly at 7:3pm.she introduced herself when I was cleaning ,then I introduced myself honestly,her name was "Kate" she looks around 20-21 of age ,born in usa,good looking person,she ask about me and I said I am from "country of mountains".it was almost 5 minute we talk I was talking to her and doing my work at same time.then all of sudden she ask me "what time you are off"?
I replied at "7:30".
In a prompt she said"what you think after you get off work ,we will go out hangout somewhere ,drink and may be get laid"?
She turned me off so quick that without even a second my reply was "NO!!!!!" In a rude and loud ,I repeat that again"NO"
She quickly turn away and sat down in front table facing back where I was standing ,I saw her crying without making any sound,I felt guilty for this but I wonder.....what did I do?.
i clearly saw her hands swiping tears from her eyes ,this really made me feel bad.she sat there for an half an hour ,I didn't gave her intensions but what I was feeling was bad,because she ask me something I can't give her,how did she ask me ?those things without even knowing me, many things pops in my mind ,they made me crazy but I am strong from within and true to myself ,honest to myself so I didn't care that much,but where is that heart who used to help other always.?
I doubt that on myself for a while ,on clock it was almost 8:30pm

Me and sarafat bhai close restaurant then headed to get train to pentagon.i had some thing inside me which made me feel bad ,I was thinking I could have handle that situation in different way ,I judge myself if in place of me some other guy, have gone with her,but that would be their view and my view differentiates me from other.on my way I thought to go restroom and when I came back I saw her ,then I decided to talk to her about in clear ways ,because if I didn't do this I will never get reason to believe .when we saw each other without notice she smiled but her red face indicate me crying, I ask her why did she ask me that ?then she said she is been seeing me from last week ,she came here everyday,
She ask "why did you say no?"
Me "i can't give you that because that is for very very special person".and in fact that is not what you are looking for ?
she-:I am depressed about love,I need someone to hold me.i need care ,I am girl without boyfriend ,all of my friend have boyfriend.i want to have experiences too
She -:"I saw you good guy and I came to talk to you everyday ,but found you very busy always and when not busy you are with other work mates so I wait till late today.
I realise I am having very serious discussion with a stranger who thinks about me in very different ways,then I decided to told her what I think about life ,in my opinion how life should be ,I explained about me what I believe in truly,by that time it was 8:30pm
I found her in obsession and in depression about getting laid.being Hindu guy I believe truly what human means and meaning of having physical relationship in life. control ,sacrifices has major role, we may not believe this but control means happiness ,we have many desires ,many dreams but all those dreams never comes true ,why?I am not being philosopher or saying some shits but they are true.we can't hide the mistakes that we made ,do we ?may be from other but not from self,no way.
this means you are not true to yourself,if you know who you are and what you are then you never have this situation today.i have incredible way to convince people,some said you are good human but I am not doing this for anyone else I am doing this for myself.i feel peace while doing this.i found Kate honest girl otherwise why she told me which I am not suppose to know .we talk like 2 and half hour I can't write word by word but I tried to write as much as I can.
Kate :-I have frens "guys" also but I can't tell them what I told you,I don't know why ,may be fear that makes me weak,may be I am afraid to let them know about my desires,I saw you and I don't know what but I felt like I should ask you.
After about an hour talk she said something that made me feel happy for her.
Kate-:I was really frustrated ,angry when you say"no" but now I am happy and fine ,you are different,your thoughts ,your beliefs, your values,I don't know much about you even ,gold is gold even it's old.
Kate:-,I could have ask him"sarafat bhai"instead of you I didn't do that ,it never came in my mind,I am from good family ,my father is civil engineer work for federal ,my mother is school teacher I have two brother and a sister,we live in good house but sometime when we think of other friends they are striving for what I already have ,even then I was obsessed and frustrated.i don't know why,but most important thing which didn't realise is ,i would have gone to club,bar or someother place where I can get hookup easily,I didn't do that,I don't know why,I had feelings to get laid but I saw you rare ,may be it's fate or what I have no idea but whatever it is I am very happy to say that I am being saved from what I am not suppose to do."
me:-I am good or bad i don't know but I am true to myself ,if you are honest to yourself you can do whatever you want and I said what I really believe,Its great to talk to you even we don't know each other.we are what we are.i hope you learn something today even I am not sure of that but I learnt that "we speak when it pains alot."
Kate ask me my number I didn't have one ,i didn't take her number either because it takes time to made government id.she ask me for coffee instead we went for tea near by sarafat bhai was shocked about what we discussed ,he was there all the time ,as witness,he just said "you will do something in life,sooner or later"Don't forget me that time.
When we head for train it was 11:00pm and I was feeling greatful to my creator for wonderful understanding between that stranger and me,this made my will to feel proud once again.later that night I remember kate,from the first day ,she came with one dollar bill most of the time,and ask for quarters,I remember each and every moment through my unconscious mind,it's a believe and trust ,that enlighten me with more energy for my soul.
Before sleeping I decided to quit my job,thinking I can have control one time not every time ,because desire is something that makes us blind.and I quit my job next day.i thought I must do that to prevent from further more preceedings and I was happy with my decision.