Among Us Logic stuff

~ Incorrect Quotes ~

These quotes are not incorrect, they just aren't canon.

~

Player, texting Captain: Hey do you like anyone?

Captain: Yeah you

Player: sorry, we're just friends

Captain: *yeah, you?

Captain: oh haha sorry lol

Captain: *dies inside*

~

Mother: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it.

Veteran: ...I was hungry.

~

Captain: That sounds super! Doesn't that sound super, Player?

Player: No.

Captain: I think I speak for Player when I say it sounds really super.

~

Mr. Cheese: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Captain: Awwwww, you're so adorable! Give me a hug~

~

Baggy: *shoves their hand in the slot of a toaster*

Baggy: ...I get confused sometimes.

~

The Gentleman: Mr. Cheese, you're testifying in an aggrivated assault case tomorrow, and the D.A. is worried about how you'll present yourself on the stand.

Mr. Cheese: Why? I'm fine on the stand!

*flashback to testimony #1*

Mr. Cheese: Look, I'll make this real simple so even these dumdums can understand.

Mr. Cheese, to the jury: MAN DID CRIME.

*flashback to testimony #2*

Mr. Cheese: I'm sorry, could you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face?

Defense Attorney, next to the defendent: ...Crying?

~

Mr. Cheese: At this point I have to confess... I started to feel a little bad for Player. Maybe it was the fact that I had just outperformed them once again, or maybe it was that I held an obvious advantage over the poor bastard. Maybe it was just that unbearable look in their eyes. Either way, I started to wonder if maybe this was a pointless endeavor after all. What was I doing to this person? What was I trying to prove? Was this really some grand, noble quest, to tear an overconfident fraud from their unearned throne? To show everyone that I was right. That Player did not deserve to stand at that zenith, to lord over everyone else. Or... perhaps... was I really just doing this for myself? Beating an opponent within an inch of their life over and over and over again... all for my own petty ego. All to fill this emptiness inside of me. I asked myself, was Player really the bad guy? Or was it me, all along?

Mr. Cheese: But then I remembered that Player ain't shit, and I got over it!

~

Gnome: Inside you, there are two kidneys.

Gnome: I'm going to steal them.

~

Mr. Cheese: Guys, there's a monster under my bed and it's really ugly.

Mr. Egg, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

~

Stoner: Hey, Engineer?

Engineer: Yes?

Stoner: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?

Engineer:

Engineer: Where's Captain?

~

Player: You're not ascending to godhood, you're just dehydrated.

Veteran: Outta my way, gayboy! I'm about to liberate myself from this mortal shell!

*later*

Veteran, texting Player: hopital

~

Gnome: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.

Mr. Egg: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

~

That's all I have for now - goodbye and good luck don't let the shadow man find you he  k n o w s  w h a t  y o u  s m e l l  l i k e