THE DOTING WIFE ~ KashiBai

BALAJI PASSES AWAY

RADHABAI'S POV

As the dim light of the room flickered, the stillness of death hung in the air, and the finality of the moment seemed to draw near. I could see "Aaho" (My husband Balaji), frail and weakened by the toll of illness, lying on the deathbed, his breaths shallow, his face pale with the approach of the inevitable.

His body, was once strong and vibrant, now seemed small and fragile, yet his mind remained acutely aware of the weight he carried, a burden of guilt and regret he could no longer bear alone.

I was sitting at his side, my hand gently resting on his. Through these past few years I had nothing to say to him so I was just silent. Because my heart, was already heavy with the looming loss, I felt an ache deeper than I could have imagined.

He had long known the truth in my heart, the quiet suspicions and my unspoken words. So I could feel his sorrow before he even spoke it.

But with great effort, his voice cracked out of a sudden, barely a whisper but loud enough to be heard in this quiet room. His eyes, filled with remorse, locked into mine.

He was seeking forgiveness he had longed for but never found the courage to ask for it! His words, though weak, carried the weight of years of silence, of lies, of regret.

"I... I am sorry..." he rasped, each word like a jagged stone pulled from the depth of his chest.

His breath caught, and he winced in pain, both physical and emotional.

"I know... I know I failed you. I... I betrayed your trust, your love. I hurt you in ways you never deserved Sarkaar"

But I did not speak, maybe I have gotten used to this. My face was a portrait of sorrow, but there was no anger, no accusations. I had got silenced to whatever he spoke or said to me.

My silence was both a shield and a cry for the truth I had long sought, and now it was being offered to me, though too late.

"I... I had an affair," he continued, his voice trembling.

"I didn't want to hurt you. I never meant to. But I was weak, and I... I was selfish. I thought I could get away with it. I thought I could fix everything, but I couldn't."

His gaze faltered for a moment as he closed his eyes, trying to gather strength.

"I am so sorry."

But was a sorry enough for what all I have endured silently. Did he ever imagine how my heart broke into fragments when I thought about sharing him with anyone. But I think he never did.? Or maybe he did..?

Tears began to form in my eyes, but I did not look away. I held his hand tighter, even though my heart was breaking for both of us for the current moment. Where had this fate brought us.

He looked at me again,his voice barely above a whisper now. "But please know this..."

He paused, gathering what little strength he had left.

"I loved you. I always did, and I always will. Even when I was lost, even when I was foolish... you were the one who mattered. You were my home, my heart. I can never make up for what I've done, but I hope... I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

I didn't speak immediately.

There were no words I could offer that could heal the wounds of the past, nor could I deny the love he still carried for me in his final moments. The love, so pure and true, had been overshadowed by his actions, but the sincerity in his voice told me that the guilt of his betrayal had been his constant companion.

And now, as death loomed near, he was seeking redemption, not in grand gestures, but in the quiet truth of his heart.

My tears fell softly, but I whispered near his ears almost inaudibly, "I forgave you... long ago..."