Dream a little dream of me

Part 1

AN: This is my take on episode 45, post Aslaz break up cause the writers have totally ruined the rest of the episode and wrote scenes that were totally out of character for the Alaz we know.. He deserved better and so did we.

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Elveda, sevgilim…

The taste of blood lingered on his tongue as Alaz opened his eyes with a gasp, as if waking from a nightmare, feeling the damp earth pressing against his cheek. Darkness clung to the trees above him, broken only by narrow slivers of moonlight filtering through the thick branches. He tried to move, but a sharp pain at his temple flared, anchoring him to the cold ground.

He took a deep breath and tried to pull himself together. After all, waking up disoriented wasn't anything new in the world of Alaz Soysalan. Still, he felt drunk even though he knew he hadn't had a single drink. Though he couldn’t guarantee that, as he had difficulty remembering much of anything at the moment.

Then, like a whispered reminder, a small voice broke the silence. 

“Baba?”

His heart stilled. The sound was soft, like a breeze brushing through the leaves, but it was enough to make him forget the ache in his body. Alaz pushed himself up, blinking against the shadows. There, standing just a few feet away, was a small figure in a flowery dress, and all he could think of stupidly, foolishly - she must be cold. Why was she out without a coat?

“Baba?” she said again, her voice soft, innocent, as if she were calling him from a dream. She may as well be, the way he felt right now. The sound of ‘Baba’ on her lips was like a balm and a curse. He ached with a longing that tightened around his chest, but was frozen to the ground, unable to move. 

He only stared at her, unblinking. She had his lighter eyes, but her mother’s smile and those soft curls - a girl he’d never truly known but who lived on in his heart, all the same.

“Ece?” His voice cracked, barely a whisper. He reached out finally, his hand trembling. His mind struggled to grasp the scene, but there she was, her hazel eyes bright and curious, her small hand reaching back for him. And then she smiled at him, that Asi smile that made his heart ache. "Kizim…"

His heart raced with the impossible sight of her, and he stumbled forward, ignoring the pain that shot through his head like lightning. But as he took another step, the shadows around her seemed to shift. Her figure flickered, growing hazy, as though the forest itself was swallowing her up.

“No,” he gasped, fear clawing at his throat, making it hard to speak. “Lütfen… don’t go.”

She was all he had left now. The only one that hasn't cursed him to hell.   

Her small face tilted, her expression caught somewhere between pity and sorrow. "Why did you leave me, baba?" she asked finally in that small voice that cut straight through him.

“I didn’t… I'm here now. I'll find you…” he stammered, uncertain who he was trying to convince, the little girl or himself. His throat burned, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. He tried to reach her again, but his fingers grasped at nothing but air.

‘Baba…’ Her voice faded like the last notes of a forgotten song, leaving him alone in the suffocating silence.  

Reality settled around him again, colder and heavier than before. A sharp ache pulsed at the base of his skull, his breath coming in shallow gasps, the chill seemed to wrap around him like a damp blanket. 

He ignored it all, thinking of only one thing - he had to find her. It was a promise he'd made to both her and Asi back then. 

He tried to look around but his head felt dizzy and when he reached with his hand there was blood on his fingers. He must have slipped and hit his head earlier, hence the memory loss and the headache.