I WANT GENSHIN IRL!

MY great idea....

Me POV:

Sighs. I am sooo bored...Just C.ai isnt cutting it anymore. I need to feed my genshin addiction in another way.......*calls my wife* "Hello Paul... I need some ideas on how to feed my addictions..." "What the sigma, I already told you- I also have a corn addiction, I'm also struggling with finding new videos, pictures, and even games... I guess I can send you a video of corn with me and DR Veritas Ratio." "RATIO + L+ BOZO!!!" and after I said that, she hung up. She sent me a link of a video and I clicked on it............. YOU LOST THE GAME HAHA! anyways... It was a Rickroll. This is why i stopped watching corn, too many sweats. Anyways, I ragequit and went onto ebay and I saw a listing for a child.. Then..I GOT THE BEST IDEA EVER! I'm gonna legally adopt lots of children to recreate the genshin characters... I NEED TO MAKE THEM AS LORE ACCURATE AS POSSIBLE! I clicked onto the listing and the child cost $1. The kid looked about 13 or so... I already know who this will be..my first victim- I MEAN MY CUTE LITTLE BABY THAT I WILL CARE FOR AND LOVEE!!!! Sooo...I ordered the kid and it said it will arrive in 3 days.. sigh.. I need a child. NOW. Not because I love kids- I wanna abuse it! And then... I got an even BETTER idea! I will break into the SHEIN factory and steal some of the kids... heh...I am so smart... But...it's day rn, I should wait until it's dark out so no one will notice.. Not like anyone would gaf but still. Sigh....And now we wait. Soooo let's timeskip to 1AM. I got a bag and typed 'SHEIN factory' into google maps and got on my way. I was also wearing those typical cartoon robber outfits just for the aesthetics. I reached the factory after 30mins of driving with my old ahh bike and very sneakily entered through a backdoor. The alarm went off. Ooopsss. I panicked and quickly ran through more doors until I saw what I have been looking for. The minors... I think my snake grew a little at the sight...but ignore that... I quickly grabbed one of the kids and put it into my bag. I wanted to grab more but some old ahh PDF File boss ran in the room and shouted "HEY! GIVE MY SLAVE BACK!" So I needed to get the flip out of there. The kid was so FUCKING FAT AND HEAVY. DID I ACCIDENTLY TAKE CASEOH WITH ME?? But luckily I was listening to Thick of it x mango phonk and eating my lunchly with drippy cheese with some Prime and feastables chocolate in my winter arc 😎. AND I have infinite aura so I made it out of there. The kid was too FAT and heavy to carry so I got out of the factory, hid behind a tree, pulled out of the kid- sorry- I meant pulled the kid out of my bag and said "Bro yo so FAT, if someone would hang up a picture of you it would take 3 walls to fit the picture AND it would fall off cause yo so FAT. Now follow me.... hmmm You will be Scaramouche." I'm a savage. This dumbahh FAT kid started following me. I swear every step he took the ground shook a lil.. Honestly.. He's the reason world hunger exists, he's the meteorite that killed the dinos. He is the reason pet food says 'Not for human consumption'. This FAT kid takes SO LONG to walk. He's taking longer than GTA6. But after what felt like 3 lightyears, we FINALLY reached my torture chamber... Also called my house, he will be living in my basement while I research Scarashit lore IG... Heh.. I finished................ researching the lore and got up. I got some mystery liquid and entered the basement where this FATASS MINOR was being kept. I threw the mystery liquid on it. Not because it's lore acurate, I just wanted to do that :3. This dumbahh said: "OH MY GYAT! THAT'S STILL WATER Those who know💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀" WHAT THE SIGMA is this FATASS talking about?!? He is proof that evolution can go in reverse. I think I broke it because it didn't stop yapping. "GIVE ME FORTNITE! FORTNITE BATTLE PASS I JUST SHIT OUT MY ASS!!!" OH MY GYAT. THAT'S IT. I'M MOLESTING IT. I had to flee the scene, this minor was scaring me. I left and then I let my cringe songs playlist play in that room through speakers to torture him. But this FAT kid liked the songs. And now he won't stop saying 'JAX VS SKIBIDI TOILET EPIC EDGING BATTLE'. I'm jumping. I will get drunk and abuse this mf............................. I got a call from this 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 girl called Yeothang. I immediatly yelled "HAWK TUAH SPIT ON YEOTHANG" into the phone. She was silent for like 3 seconds before speaking: "Did you hear about the SHEIN factory break in on the news" WHAT. HOW IS IT ALREADY ON THE NEWS. I STOLE HIM LIKE 5mins ago. "WHAT?!? THEY ALREADY KNOW!??!?" I was SHOOK. It was so shocking that even my Lunchly got moldy. "Yes, they posted about it on TikTok.." WHO THE FLIP POSTED THAT ON TIKTOK. That Mf is getting graped. "Yeah mb I was the one who stole the minor. I am recreating genshin characters IRL." This Pizza eater said "Are you THAT addicted to genshit", like what the what the what the hell am I supposed to say to that? Like OFC I am THAT obsessed with genshit. I have the characters IRL AND I can abuse minors!! But then I remembered something very important.. "OMG CHAT CHAT I FORGOT TO GIVE SCARASHIT THE CORRECT HAIR." And with that, I hung up and rushed to the basement with scissors and hair dye. This MF was playing fortnite on a PS5. HOW. I DIDN'T GIVE HIM A PS5?!?! WHERE DID HE GET IT FROM?? DID HE PULL IT OUT OF HIS ASS OR SUM? Probably was keeping it under all his FAT. But that isn't important right now. "SCARASHIT. Come here I need to change your hair." This fattie really said "I need to get my EPIC WIN first!!" and continued playing fortnite. I was pissed off at that failed experiment. His parents condom prolly ripped. His dad fucked up while trying to pull out. FATHERLESS L. I watched him play Fortnite for a bit but he was taking too long so I pulled out of him- I MEAN pulled him out of his gaming chair and gave him a Bowlcut with scissors. He was screaming and crying, not because I was giving him the UGLIEST haircut known to mankind, but because he just died in fortnite. I forcefully put dye into his hair (and in his eyes but that was an ACCIDENT. Accidents happen and an accident is something that is no ones fault!) when i was done I just left and kind of forgot him. After a few hours I saw police sirens outside and saw that cops were knocking on peoples houses to search for that child I kidnapped. Then I realised I kinda forgot to get the dye out of his hair... Oops... Sigh... *pulls out a Ukulele* The toxic gossip train~............................................................................. Heh.. I'm the ALPHA.............