Aouboom/ Characters (Short stories)

Chapter 2:It is what it is (Angst/ Tanfang)

Each day is like a new knife poking in his body. There is not a void inside him but he is levitating inside a void. He is growing numb to things around him. It’s been a week since their last text where Tan knows he fucked up and there is no going back. The conversation, each and every word echoes in his mind.

Fang had unblocked him from the socials and he deep down wished he hadn’t. Tan’s world turned 360 degrees completely but apparently it is not the same scenario for Fang. Everything about him is still the same before and after. Tan believes it is to maintain the professionalism but it aches his heart, watching a new story on his socials. Going to different places with a sling bag- all given by Tan-, eating new dishes where he furrowed his eyebrows because of how amazing it tastes, his minor day-to-day activities with his favourite songs.

And of course many of them majorly include his “friend” in it, he is so sick of him. The only positive aspect of the whole thing is he does not need to fake his emotions anywhere now like gathering loads of enthusiasm while talking to Fang or explaining that he had a good day at work to not worry him.

If you ask him how he is doing the only reply he has is down drunk and out of his mind. He applied for a month’s leave at his office, he is a diligent employee so it was not hard for authorities to accept his request. He spent the day -after the fight- in drinking and drinking alone. His coworkers texted him to ask about the leave including Phum, he didn’t read any of them. He switched off his mobile, throwing it somewhere he will never bother to pick up, he doesn’t have any reason to.  

Now he is sitting alone in the hallroom where the only light source in the room is the Television, the light hitting his face, brightly white. His eyes hurt looking at the screen for so long unaware that it is because of how swollen they’ve gotten. He switched to another channel absentmindedly twirling the bottle of alcohol in his hands before chugging it down with one go. His throat is used to the bitterness that he is not fazed anymore. The bitter taste on his tongue is nothing compared to the bitterness in his heart currently.

To add more salt on his wound he accidentally switched to a romcom. Watching the couple holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes, making several promises for one another. It is making him nauseous, he cannot take it. He felt his throat burning and a large amount of saliva around his mouth wall.

He quickly stood up, practically running to the bathroom vomiting his guts out. It was full of liquor he just drank the whole day, the burning sensation along with the intense hard stomach ache is making him lose his consciousness. His muscles string because of how sudden he ran. He mustered up the strength to walk up to Fang’s cupboard, pulling out one of his hoodies. The classic black one came into his sight, his fingers trembled when he reached out to pick it up.

All the memories of Fang in the hoodie flashing in front of him, the time when Fang and Tan brought the matching hoodie and snuggled all night against each other’s heartbeat.

He grasped the hoodie tightly between his fingers, pulling it up to his chest. Sniffing it a little - cherry- that is how his love smelled. With the hoodie under his hold he turned to go to the bed but his body couldn’t keep up with him and mid way he fell on the ground losing his vision.

He doesn't need to know how he ended up in the hospital the other day. His friends gathered around him along Phum, the door opened revealing Pepper and Tee with food containers in their hands. None of them said anything but sat on the chair and ate their food in silence.

The doctor informed them that Tan will be discharged tomorrow but he needs to have a caretaker around him to make sure he properly eats and sleeps. He teared up when he saw everyone volunteering to help him out and making plans to visit him.