The last letter

Akutagawa held the letter in his hands, unable to process each word he read. It was Atsushi's final farewell, his last display of affection wrapped in pain and sacrifice. His rival, his opposite, had made the choice to face that trap, knowing he wouldn't survive, just to save others.

With trembling hands, he began to read.

"Ryuu," it began, a name Akutagawa rarely heard from Atsushi's lips. Only in moments like this, in those few times they allowed themselves to lower their guard.

"I don't know how to start this, because I never thought I'd have to say goodbye to you. We argue so much that it probably feels like we hate each other most of the time. But the truth is, if I'm writing this, it's because, in the end, I care about you more than I can handle."

Akutagawa felt a lump in his throat. Atsushi's words were so sincere, so raw, it was almost impossible to read them. He knew this was the truth they had both ignored, that connection between them that, despite everything, still existed.

"I don't want to leave, believe me. I want to stay here with you, keep arguing and making up, keep doing what we do. But this time, I have to go. There are people out there who need me, and even though it terrifies me, it's something I have to do."

Each word felt like a blow, a reminder of Atsushi's bravery, of his unwavering will to sacrifice himself for others. Akutagawa knew he could never be like him, so generous, so willing to give everything of himself, but deep down, he understood why Atsushi had done what he did.

"I understand if you're angry, if you even hate me now. But please, don't hate yourself. Don't let this make you feel like you're not enough, or that you somehow pushed me away. None of this is your fault. You're amazing just the way you are, and I need you to keep going, to live that way."

Akutagawa closed his eyes, letting Atsushi's words etch themselves into his mind. Throughout their lives, he had always believed he needed to be stronger, more ruthless, but here was Atsushi telling him he was enough as he was. It was a truth he had never been able to accept... until now.

"I love you more than I can say, and even though leaving hurts more than anything, I know this is what I have to do. Take care of yourself. Move forward, even if it seems impossible."

Akutagawa felt something inside him break. Atsushi was asking him to move forward, to find a reason to live beyond revenge and hate. It was a challenge, a final test, as if Atsushi had left him the responsibility of living the life he could no longer have.

"Remember that I will always love you.
- Atsushi."

Akutagawa read the words on the page with trembling hands, each one feeling like a dagger to the heart. The letters blurred in and out, as his eyes filled with tears. When he finished, he folded the paper silently and placed it on the table beside him, trying to hold back the wave of tears threatening to spill. Even then, a few tears managed to slip down his cheeks. "...Bastard..."