Mr. Popular and I

Chapter Twenty-Three - Guilty

River

I've always hated Sunday evenings because it's the day I finally have to face the enormous pile of homework that I've been avoiding all week. And, just like any other Sunday, I cannot be bothered to get off my ass, and do any of it, even though I have an English essay, a biology paper, and my photography homework to do.

Thinking of photography, I instantly remember back to when I caught Lea in my room yesterday evening, snooping around my photographs that I keep promising myself I'd hide away in a photo album, yet never get around to do it – like my homework.

I noticed her eyes water yesterday, and I hate to think that she may have cried when she went back to her room.

Why do you have to be so stupid, River?

I kissed her, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. But it wasn't just the kiss. I've kissed plenty of girls, and it was satisfying for the moment, then it passed. With Lea, I keep thinking of her. The wit, the sarcasm, her kindness revealed to me yesterday, they all draw me towards her. I can't get her out of my head, no matter how hard I've tried. 

I like her. 

You have a girlfriend. 

I can't help how I feel. 

Annoying yet also completely engulfing is the fact that she hasn't been the easiest person to please. 

I haven't spoken to her since yesterday. I don't dare to even step near her room because I've learned, from experience, that when girls are mad, all hell will break loose if I even try to console them. Though I can't help but feel the weightiest baggage upon my shoulders, which urges me to apologise to and iron out the creases with her.

        "Dude, you alright?" Ky asks, turning his head from the television that hangs from the wall to face me. "You seem a little...distracted." He finishes. My eyes dart to his, ending my trail of thoughts.

        "Yeah, I'm fine," I murmur, returning my eyes to the screen but not entirely focusing on the film we're watching.

         "Nope, he's not. He's been quiet all day." Jake inputs. He lifts his body to sit upright to see both Ky and me a little better. "You should've seen him this morning; he was sat up in his room, just staring at a wall, doing nothing. I mean, who does that?"

         I roll my eyes at Jake, slouching into the couch and ignoring both of their curious eyes. As hard as it is to focus on the TV when I have four inquisitive eyes studying me, I cross my arms over my chest and glue my pupils to the large flat screen.

         "Yeah, something's definitely up," Ky concludes, resting his elbows on his knees and examining me further.

         "Nothing is wrong, can we please just finish the movie?" I say.

         The last thing I want to tell these boys is all about my issue with a girl I hardly know. The whole scenario is strange; these lads won't understand.

         "Is this a chick issue?" Jake asks as if he's read my mind. "Because you know I can hook you up with any girl if you and Georgia aren't working out."

         I inhale deeply; the last thing I want to talk about is Georgia.

         Why don't you just break up with her?

         Because...I can't.

         So you can cheat on her, but you can't break up with her?