ᴇx-ʙᴏʏʀꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ɴᴇxᴛ ʜᴜꜱʙᴀɴᴅ

Chapter 41

Nishtha

I sat on the ground once he closed the door. I felt a huge wave of emotions, seeing his emotional side and then seeing it change into anger and hatred. I couldn't tolerate his hate.
How much more?
Tomorrow would mark one month of our marriage and there's been no improvement.
Were you expecting improvement?!
I don't know.
But what I did know now, was that there's always going to be hate. I was a fool to think that there's some love in his mind, there isn't.
How do I stop myself from loving him?
How do I stop myself?

I recalled my conversation with Manasi, where I told her the most fabricated story of our marriage and how she believed it, I don't know what he must have told him, and what if they talk about us? What if our stories don't match?
Everything was a mess.
After 20 mins, I walked inside the room, since I heard no noise. I saw him asleep on the bed, with his shirt removed. He was still in his jeans and his shoes were thrown on a corner.
I quickly got a panadol from my purse and placed it next to his phone, which was on the bedside table. Then, I covered him in a blanket and switched off the lights, and came out.

I sighed and lay on the couch again.
I tried to sleep, but his words and his actions were ringing in my ear. I didn't know he started drinking again. I thought he stopped. The last time I drank was with when we celebrated his 22nd birthday. I only used to drink with him.
In college, I told him not to drink.
He listened.
Why would he listen to you now?!
Right.
I just have to keep my distance. I say this every time and I haven't. I need to. I looked at my arm, which was bruised because of the force he used when pushing me away.
Who knew that he'd become violent?
I chuckled at my horrible fate.
I need to find new things to do. I need to keep myself busy and move around. I can't stay at home with him. I shouldn't.
That'll keep him happy too.
At least he won't hurt myself.

~•~

The next morning, I got up quickly, by 7am, and ran to the washroom, did my bathroom business, took a warm shower and then came out. I got dressed in simple jeans and a sweatshirt and came outside. We were heading back home today and I couldn't be happier. In the last 3 days, I felt a peace despite the harsh words, the weird moments and the mixed, cold behaviour he has shown me. I couldn't afford to feel that way again. I didn't want to.
I wanted to go home. Keeping my distance.

I got on a call with Aai and then Mom, Yuvaan's Mom, and then made my way outside because I was getting bored. I woke up early but now I'm sitting doing nothing.
So, I decided to take a walk.

I roamed around the hill station, watching the beautiful gardens, the chilly weather and the amazing smell of fried and desi roadside food.
I used to love it when it rains.
I still like watching it.
But, I don't like drenching in it anymore, not after that day. I'm scared of being in it.
I sighed and started taking pictures. After almost 1.5 hours of walking, exploring the market and buying things for everyone, I came back home.

The door opened to a worried looking Yuvaan, who was pacing around. He looked at me and I saw his expression change. Then, he ran to me and shut the door.
"Where on earth were you?!" He asked.
I could see that he had sobered up. He had also taken a good shower. His hair was still wet and he smelled like the body wash given.
"I... I just went for a walk." I said.
"Do you not think it's worth letting someone know that you're going?!"
"You... you were asleep, so.."
"So what?! At least message me."
"I'm sorry." I said and he looked at me, caught off guard.
"What?" He asked.
"I said... sorry."
He sighed and came closer, "What's happening to you?"
"What did I do now?" I asked, tired.
"What? I... I meant, why aren't you fighting with me? You always pick a fight."
"I don't want to fight you." I said, "I'll lose."
"When have you ever lost?"
"4 years ago." I said and walked away.

I walked into the room and shut the door and cried. I can't see him. I don't want to see him.
My feelings are increasing.
It's been a difficult month.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I took 10 minutes to myself and then looked in the mirror after fixing my face and packing the bags properly. I'm going to become stone cold. That's the only way.
I took a deep breath and walked out, where he was sitting on a couch, engrossed on something on his phone. He didn't notice me.
Thank God.
I got our bag and put them in the car and that's when he noticed and walked towards me, "what are you doing?"
"Packing. We are going back in 10 minutes."
"Nishtha... wait." He said, but I ignored him. He followed behind me as I got our jackets and put it all in the car, "Can you listen?"
I looked at him, indicating yes.
"I don't know what I said yesterday. I don't really remember, but anyway, thank you for the panadol."
"It wasn't me. It was you."
"What?"
"You kept it there yourself, I didn't do it."
"How could I?"
"I don't know, but it was you." I said and looked away. I don't want him to know I did anything. I want him to see me and think that I've stopped caring for him, so he makes it easier to forget him.
I tried to move away when he caught my arm and pulled me, grabbing my waist. He looked into my eyes, "You aren't able to lie."
I looked away, trying to leave, "Move."
"I will, when I get my answers."
"I didn't do it." I said looking away.
"Look me in the eye and say that."
"I don't need to, now back off." I said and pushed him away and left. While leaving, I yelled, "I'm waiting in the car."

Soon enough, he reached and we drove to the main reception and checked out, then got back in the car and started to head off back home. I was glad. This trip had been overwhelming. I was on my phone while Yuvaan drove. I didn't want to talk to him.
"Why are you so angry?" He asked me.
"I'm not." I said.
"Nishtha, come on."
"I'm not angry Mr Nanda." I said, looking out.
He didn't say anything after that.
I was glad.

We finally reached home after 2.5 hours and I quickly went inside my room, taking my stuff. It was 1pm only, and I had a lot of work to catch up on before going to office again the next day. I was using this an excuse to stay away from him but I don't care.
"Nishtha?!" His voice said, following me. I didn't reply, just went inside and shut the door.

Taking out my home clothes, I got my stuff ready to work and I removed my sweatshirt but before I could wear my shirt, the door barged open and Yuvaan walked in. I gasped in horror.
I was in just my bra and jeans!!!
"Knock and come!" I said.
My bad luck, I threw my sweatshirt on the bed.
I saw him smirk and close the door then walk closer to me. I stepped back, "w...why are you here? Leave..." I tried to turn around but he caught me and pulled me closer.
I was eventually backed up against the wall, as he stood, covering me.
"What do you want? Go from here." I repeated.
"I'll go..."
"Now!" I said, anger on my nose.
"This is a deadly combination." He smirked.
"What?" I asked.
"Your anger..." his arm tracing my body along the side, "and... this."
"Let me go." I said sternly.
"I said I would."
"At what cost?!" I asked, annoyed.
"Just had a question for you."
"What is it?!"
"Lunch?"
I rolled my eyes, "You are doing this much just to ask me about lunch. I'm not hungry. Now go."
"Are you sure you're not hungry?"
"I'm not. Now leave."
He looked at me. His gaze was making me weak in the knees. I felt my guard coming down when I looked at him, "Yuvaan... please let me go." I whispered to him, "Please... I... I can't."
"You can't what?" His tone softening.
"Nothing." I said, looking down.
"Nishtha, talk to me. Tell me."
"No. It's... it's nothing. Please go. Please."
He sighed and came closer, "I didn't come here to just let you go. Answer my question."
"I don't have an answer."
"What's for lunch Nishtha?" He said.
"I.... I don't know. What do you want?"
He smirked and the eyed me, "I think you have the answer to that."
My eyes widened and I turned around in the little space I had, embarrassed, "Go away."
"Ufff..." he said, his voice sending goosebumps up my spine as it came from behind my neck, "Trying to hide something, just showed me something else babe."
I felt his hand play with the clasp of my bra. I panicked, "W...What are you doing?"
"Oh relax. Not the first time I'm doing this."
"I... I think you need to go." I said, trying to stop his hand, but he caught my arms and held them against the wall, my back colliding against his chest. I felt weak in the knees as I felt his piercing gaze on me.
"It's not the first time I've seen you like this either." He whispered, "Still very hot."
I felt his finger trace around my back, my breathing getting uneven every second.
"Y...Yuvaan... please go..." I requested.
He turned me around, looked at me from top to bottom then came close to my ear, his hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me close, "I'm waiting downstairs, ordering a pizza."
Then, he let go, went towards the bed and tossed me my home t-shirt and then walked out, as I caught it.

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