Their Mute Broter [ Tae centric ]

#12 🦋

Jimin read the note and suddenly his expressions twisted , he glanced back at tae who was looking down now  , he kept staring at him before finally speaking up ..

Jimin : What ...what are you saying tae ? ..Don't talk about hyungs like that ..They love you a lot , i have seen it , why would you say that ?

Tae takes a shaky breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly beneath the oversized hoodie. He risks a glance up at Jimin, his eyes wide and pleading. A shadow of hurt crosses Taehyung's face as he listens to Jimin's words. He can sense the confusion and disapproval in his friend's voice, and it breaks something inside him. Something so deep that he felt like he shouldn't have even told him anything .. His fingers tremble as he cradles the notebook in his lap, holding back his tears. He decided to make another attempt to make jimin trust him ...

TAE : " I am not lying ...please trust me .. They...they just don't want me...( A shuddering sigh leaves him. ) They are always angry at me , they just yell at me ...I feel like I'm just a bother to them. Like my presence angers them.....Maybe I did something wrong (he wrote , eyes downcast. ) To make them dislike me but I don't know what i did wrong ...(His free hand twitches anxiously in his lap ) But no matter what I do, things only seem to get worse

Jimin : Tae ...I don't know what are you saying , why are you saying ... But don't disrespect them like this , they are your brothers , they love you so much ...if something has hurt you  , talk to them ..they will definitely understand ..But this ( pointing at his wrists and notebook ) this accusation and this...self harm , this isnt the option , this is stupidity ..its like you are doing this to get attention ..I didn't thought of you this low tae ...please dont disappoint me like this

Tae's bottom lip quivers between his teeth as he heard jimin's words , a strangled noise escaping him at Jimin's words. He breathes weakly, unable to meet his friend's gaze.

A flicker of pain crosses Tae's face at Jimin's harsh words. The notebook slips from his trembling grasp, landing on the floor with a dull thud. He flinches at the unexpected sound, hugging his arms tighter around himself.

He stares down at the notebook, his heart racing as he processes Jimin's accusations. Was he really so pathetic as to resort to selfharm to gain attention? A fresh wave of humiliation crashes over him, making his stomach churn. The idea of disappointing Jimin cuts deeper than any wound he's inflicted on himself.

A pained sob catches in Tae's throat at the hurt etched into every line of Jimin's voice. Tears blur his vision as shame floods through his body. The last shred of strength in him betrays his despair  a hoarse cry mewling up from his chest.

Tae  : JiMinie , pplease don't look at me like tthat... ( sign language )

Tae gesture his words with shaky hands , still trying to make jimin believe at him , seeing him like this jimin sighed ...he held his hand and spoke

Jimin : Please don't cry ...Don't be like this ..Don't do it ..please tae ..Just talk to them ( he squeezed his eyes frustrated ) How can you say they don't love you when i can clearly see that , they care about you a lot ..didn't you saw how Yoongi hyung stand out for you against principal..How jungkook hyung got violent for you ..How Jin hyung is always "my baby ,my tae" ..You are saying that's all a lie ? They are just pretending ? why would they do that ...You know , yoongi hyung himself call me today and ask me to come home because he said you was upset ..You know ,I was with aunt in busan this whole week , your mom , she said she was missing you a lot ...why are you like this , so ungrateful just because something temporarily has hurt you , do you even imagine how would they feel if they overheard what you are saying ? How hurt they will be , do you care ? ...( sighed )

Tae's heart sinks at Jimin's words, a fresh wave of despair washing over him. The evidence he provides is irrefutable  from Yoongi and jungkook's  strong stance against Principal , to Jin's affectionate nicknames. Yet despite it all, Tae can't shake the truth that their displays of care are just acts put on for appearance's sake. A façade hiding the truth. And he also know that he cant make jimin understand him when he is this much brainwashed by their fake love ..

He hangs his head, his shoulders slumped in defeat. A choked sob escapes him, his body trembling with the weight of his own loneliness and pain. A pair of  stray tears  tracks down his cheek, smearing black liner on his pale skin.

Without a word, Jimin stands up and heads to the bathroom. He returns a few minutes later with a first-aid kit, his expression unreadable. Without waiting for Tae's permission, he gently takes the notebook from his friend's hands and sets it aside. Then, with a firm grip on Tae's arm, he lifted his sleeve up ...and kneels beside Tae , He  carefully examines his wrists, his brow furrowed with concern. He retrieves cotton balls and antibiotic ointment from the kit. Working methodically, he begins cleaning the wounds, his touch gentle yet confident.

As he works, Jimin keeps stealing glances at Tae's face, watching for signs of distress or discomfort. He knows better than anyone that self harm is not a choice, but a desperate cry for help in the darkest of times but yet he couldn't bring himself to believe tae.. After he was done he  got up and glanced down at tae , his voice firm and warning

Jimin : I am not telling anyone what you did to yourself this time ,but if i saw you cutting yourself again ...I am definitely informing Hyungs ..( he said shortly and turns to leave the room , when he was near the door he looked back ) ..And talk to them if something is bothering you ...Then come back to me as you were not how you are right now ..I dont think i can out with "this" You

Tae's breath catches in his throat as Jimin's words sink in. The threat of exposure hangs heavy in the air, a constant reminder of his precarious situation. He knows that Jimin means every word  if he discovers Tae harming himself again, he'll have no choice but to involve the others. The thought makes his stomach twist painfully . But the most painful was the last words jimin said , He was giving up on him just because he couldn't see through the lies of his brothers ..

As Jimin turns to leave, Tae's hand shoots out, grasping at his sleeve. He couldn't speak , couldnt give voice to the desperate plea building in his chest. Instead, he squeezes Jimin's arm, silently begging him to stay. To understand.

When Jimin looks back, Tae sees the resolve etched into his features. The disappointment in his eyes cuts Tae to the core. He releases Jimin's arm, letting him go, but the action feels like a knife to the heart. He knew he was also giving up on him and unlike Jimin ..It was not a temporary disappointment and goodbye  , He was letting him go for forever ..

TAEHYUNG'S POV ;

I watched him leave the room ..And i couldn't stop him , I felt like I don't want to stop him either  ..He is also like others ..  Like everyone .. For the very first time ..I felt someone so unworthy of deserving me ..He doesn't deserve me when he thinks this low of me ..When he thinks that I will lie for sake of attention ,i will self harm just to get their sympathy ...And i ..Just hate them ..I hate all of them , I hate hyungs ..I hate jimin ..They dont deserve me ..

I wanted to open up , say everything that i have kept inside me , i thought he would understand me ..but he didn't and the words itself get stuck in my throat like they are too heavy to let go , i feel guilty of even trying , like my pain doesn't matter , like i am asking for too much just   by saying what's hurting me ..i feel so pathetic asking for help , afraid that they will think i am weak , like i just want attention and nothing more ..so i will stay silent holding all my pain inside me , hoping that someday someone will see how much i am hurting without me saying anything but i know , deep down i know , i am still hoping for too much and at end my hopes will be crushed ..

Why its like everyone who comes leaves ? they knock so softly on door  of my heart and than vanish like the whispers in wind ...I hold them so close and yet they slip away , Why is it that  no one stays when i need them the most ? Jimin , hyungs , Mom ..they all left me when i needed them the most ..Is it me who is just so bad for anyone or they who can't look through how much they are hurting him ...( sighed ) Either way I dont want them now ...I have make my mind ..I wont stay here anymore ..I wont disrespect myself by staying with people who dont appreciate my presence , who just know how to hurt me ...