in the blink of a crinkling eye (tayvis)

my face was gray buy you wouldn't admit that we were sick

December 13th, 2022

The air in the studio was light and relaxed, thanks to her musical partner, Jack. It was her 33rd birthday, and she was in a studio making magic with him. Even though she loved birthday parties and celebrations, this year would be different.

It was preferable to stay here, working on what she loved with someone who brought her joy, rather than being at a restaurant with a boyfriend who seemed to hate her at the moment. He barely realized he was losing her.

Jack noticed his friend's downcast expression but didn't know what to say. From the beginning, he wasn't much of a fan of Joe, but he had made her happy like Jack had never seen before. Joe had been everything she needed, supporting her, but now it seemed like he wanted to push her away until she gave up. As he'd told her once, he wasn't man enough to own his feelings and talk to her about things. So, he never let her speak. They would sleep and wake up in that sick atmosphere where he wouldn't admit they were dying.

"I wrote the bridge and the chorus, but there are still some verses missing. I'll play it so you can tell me what you think." Jack nodded, and Taylor settled on the cushioned piano bench. "Fighting in only your army / Frontlines don't you ignore me / I'm the best thing at this party / And I wouldn't marry me either / A pathological people pleaser / Who only wanted you to see her." Her voice faltered for a moment, but the melody continued. She took a deep breath before resuming, "And I'm fading thinking / Do something, babe, say something / Lose something, babe, risk something / Choose something, babe, I got nothing / To believe, unless you're choosing me." She stopped playing and looked at him. "Now, the chorus would start here."

"From what I heard, it's a very... deep song. Do you want to talk about it, Tay?" Jack asked gently, touching her hand.

"No need, Jack. There's nothing to say," she replied with a sad smile, her eyes misty. "I don't know, I... I've just been so confused lately." She shook her head.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why, on your birthday, are you here working? It's your day, Tay! You should be relaxing and enjoying yourself." He brushed her blonde hair affectionately.

"I'd rather be here with you than look into Joe's eyes. Although, lately, he's been avoiding looking at me, so..." She laughed humorlessly. Her friend pulled her into a tight hug.

Taylor's phone vibrated in her pocket, and Jack let her go so she could reply. It was a message on her private Instagram account, followed by only a few people—just friends, family, her boyfriend (on a fake account), and a ghost from the past. A past so distant it could have faded into the sea of memories. But it never did.

[ilovemycaTSomuch] 87 replied to her story:
33?? You're getting old, Taylor!!! Can't believe I met you when you were like five centimeters tall. You may have grown up, but you're still small next to me, hahaha. Happy birthday, Swifty. Wishing you all the best, always.

Reading the message, she laughed, catching the attention of her nosy friend.

"Definitely not the London rat," he said, peeking at her phone screen.

"Jack! I told you not to call him that."

"Uh-huh. Who's 87?" he asked, ignoring her comment.

"A... friend from when I was younger. Travis."

"Wait, Travis? The one from Abby's stories?"

"The very same." She smiled.

"Friend, my ass, Taylor Alison. Your first love. The guy you're still writing songs about."