Glorious Chaos

Too big

The sun had barely started wake up, no doubt feeling lazy compared to myself, as it started to peek through the floor to ceiling plated glass walls of the kitchen. The aroma of warm pastries, and baked goods, freshly brewed coffee, and a savory mushroom and Gruyère cheese quiche filled the kitchen, enveloping me in the contentment of knowing that the labors of my early morning were a success. I had already set the table, and was working on preparing smoothies, with organic fruits and veggies that were freshly delivered every morning, an array of various supplements, and of course vitamins for each of the team members. When they started filing in to find out what kind of delights I'd made them today, I smiled proudly. They could be picky, sure, but I still found myself beaming with joy whenever they got excited for my food.
"Please tell me that's my S'mores protein smoothie." Sam asked with an excited hopefulness as he walked into the kitchen with Steve, and Bucky, finding me snapping a lid onto a clear to-go cup.
"Lucky guess." I teased, as I held it out to him with a straw. "I added a little collagen today, that should help a little with your sore shoulder, and some extra chia seeds, just for a bit of a protein boost, since you'll be training past lunch. It'll help you feel full longer, so you're not starving until dinner. Oh! And I tucked a couple extra protein bars, and some almonds in your bag."
"God, how are you single?" Sam fawned, ruffling my already wild copper curls.
"Cuz I fight men who touch my hair, Samuel Thomas Wilson!" I bit back playfully, swatting his hand away. Sam snorted before taking a sip of his smoothie, skeptical of my ability to fight anyone, let alone one of them.
Next I handed a banana and blueberry smoothie to Steve.
"You know I appreciate everything you do, Lor, but I really don't think these are that necessary for me and Buck." Steve mentioned for the hundredth time. He was convinced that since they were super soldiers, they didn't need extra vitamins, minerals, or nutrients, and he felt like they were wasting my time by having me make smoothies for them.
"Speak for yourself." Bucky muttered, waiting patiently for his.
"I do know that. You've only said it a dozen times, Stevie." I laughed. "Besides, helpful or not, it's still delicious, and super soldiers definitely still get hungry, so why not enjoy it anyway?"
"Don't have to tell me twice." Bucky smiled faintly, as I handed him his. His always sounded a bit gross to me, but he picked most of the ingredients himself, and insisted it was delicious. His was a matcha smoothie, with plums, avocado, banana, various greens, and a whole lot of dark chocolate. I didn't ever tell him, but I always put extra collagen, omega-3's, lemon grass, and a few cherries in his smoothie. Because as tough as he is, and super soldier or not, there's no way he didn't get pain in that left arm, and all of those things help inflammation, sore muscles, and various other things. Bucky wasn't a talkative guy, and he had a major case of RBF, but he was always nice enough to me, so I considered him to be a friend the same way I did with Sam and Steve, and I liked to take care of my friends.
"There, I just have to make Loki's real fast, and then I am done with this ridiculously loud blender." I announced happily. Despite my cheery mood, I always had a headache in the mornings, so making smoothies wasn't my favorite thing ever.
"I wouldn't bother." Bucky mumbled as he sunk down into one of the chairs at the table, watching me work curiously. He found this whole clean eating process to be fascinating, but swears he not convinced it's worth it. The man would live of of plums and slim Jim's if you let him.
"Oh, let me guess, Gods don't need there vitamins either, right?" I laughed a little, as I started scooping supplements into the blender. The supplements for Thor and Loki were a lot different than everyone else's, since a lot of them were from Asgard.
"I'm sure they do, but it seems like a waste of time, since he always throws them away anyway." Sam added, as he folded his arms on the table next to Bucky. I stopped mid scoop, looking over at him. Cheery mood demolished.
"What?" I looked at them, my brows furrowed as their words processed in my mind. As silly as it was, hearing that hurt my feelings a little. Not because of who was doing it, but because I put a lot of love and effort into each of their meals, so throwing it away felt like they were kicking sand in my eyes. "He throws his smoothies away? Why doesn't he just say he doesn't want one, or ask me to make him something different?"
Bucky shrugged, the gesture a way of gently letting me know that he didn't know the answer to that question, nor did he actually care enough to ask.
"I just assumed they didn't eat." Sam shrugged.
"Of course they eat." I shook my head at how silly that sounded, while I placed the rest of breakfast on the table, having to jump back quickly so I didn't lose a limb at how feral  the three men dove for the food. "I cook for them as often as I do for you guys." An awkward silence fell over the room, the boys trying to discreetly look anywhere but at each other, clearly knowing something they didn't want to share with me. These three are never quiet. Well, Bucky's quiet, but his expressions were pretty loud about what he was thinking most of the time, even if he didn't speak. Sam and Steve however, they talked none stop. So the fact that they weren't talking, now felt weird. Suspicious even. "Okay, that's it. Spill it" I put my hands on my hips, knowing that they all seemed to see me as a sort of authority figure sometimes.
"Spill what?" Sam mumbled around a giant bite of chocolate muffin. I pinned them each with a glare, earning nothing in return. "If you three don't tell me what you know, I'm never making my triple chocolate lush cake, ever again."
"No!"
"Hey how!"
"Okay." The three spoke in unison. The threat didn't matter too much to Bucky, cuz he'd eat just about anything, and he thought that that Suzy Q's were fancy. Steve and Sam however, practically begged for that chocolate cake at least twice a month. I made it for every one of their birthdays, for special occasions, celebrations, and sometimes just as a surprise for them if they'd been on a particularly rough mission. They loved it more than anything else I made.
"I mean it." I assured them, as I crossed my arms, tipping my nose up with a bit of sass.
"Fine!" Sam huffed, but it was Steve who spoke next.
"We just assumed Loki doesn't eat, because he throws all of his food away." Steve informed me, looking tense, like he was worried about what my reaction would be. That was a dramatic reaction, I'm the calmest person around. It's not like I can't handle a little kick to my ego, right?
"He does what?!" I shouted, startling everyone but Bucky. Okay, so maybe I don't handle things a graciously as I'd like to believe. "Please tell me that you're joking right now? This is a joke."
"I'm sorry, Lor." Steve frowned apologetically, his face showing nothing but genuine honesty. The amount of rage that was coursing through my veins at hearing this news, was unreal.
"He has the most ridiculous, and time consuming, utterly disgusting, mind fuckery of a menu out of all of you. And that's saying a lot, given I've seen Scott taste his own earwax once, just because Peter dared him to. And you're telling me he doesn't even eat it?!"
Steve, being ever the mediator he was, didn't miss a beat to suggest a peaceful resolution to this problem, when he saw my fists curl, and the rage practically rolling off of me in waves. "Okay, let's take a breath, stay calm...."
"Calm is for people who have to look good on the front of a newspaper, Steven." I snapped, turning on my heels to find that horned douche bag, and give him a piece of my mind.
"It's just Steve." He mumbled, right along with a
"Throw in a kick or two for me, Doll." From Bucky as I exited the kitchen. The guys stared after me, the three of them worried, but not surprised by my actions. Loki's constant picking at me, wasn't a secret around here, but it's not like anyone could stop him. I'd vented to all of them about it for years now. But To Steve, it just seemed a lot like Loki was pulling at my pigtails, the way a school boy would when he finds a girl pretty. To Sam, it seemed as if Loki was threatened by the fact that the two of us were polar opposites. And to Bucky, and in his own words, it seemed a lot like none of his business. He had a tendency to lean more into the not my circus, not my clowns attitude, when it came to the bickering between Me and the god of mischief, and honestly I couldn't blame him. Even I thought this squabbling was ridiculous, but my logical brain tends to take the backseat when it comes to Loki pushing my buttons.
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The furious rapping of my fist against the door to Loki's apartment was anything but subtle, earning me a sideways glance from a couple agents that walked past in the hall.
"Keep staring, it'll be your face next." I smiled at them, my words sounded sugary sweet, despite the fact they were a pretty clear threat. I'm not usually a bitch, but can't a girl chew out a god without all the unnecessary judgement? Jeez. I stood there staring at the black door, fully expecting him to fling it open and demand to know who was being so disruptive to his sleep. But instead, the door opened slowly, and much to my surprise, it opened all on its own. The soft thump of the door bumping into the entryway wall offered a subtle welcome of entry. I swallowed hard, trying to ignore how eery that felt, as I took my first step over the threshold. Immediately, I was enveloped in that mind numbing, luscious scent, that always caused the most primal kind of buzz to course through my veins, igniting a heated desperation in my core. It was such a unique smell, and infuriatingly it was Loki's alone. I tried not to pay attention to my body unwelcome reaction to his scent, as I slowly walked into the main living area, stopping there. My curiosity piqued, as my eyes roamed over his apartment. It was far different than mine, despite the fact it should be almost identical. I had the strangest notion, that his quarters were far too large for the space it took up. From where his apartment was placed in the building, there's no possible way it could be any bigger than mine, and yet the ceiling was 12 feet higher at least, and the living room alone could fit at least four of mine inside of it. There was a fire place even, the logs crackling with a warm glow, with cozy looking sitting area in front of if, complete with a fur rug, and all. Behind that, facing the opposite wall, was a dark leather sectional couch, with fur throw pillows, and a tauntingly comfy looking plush blanket with unbelievably detailed appliqué designs, draped over the back, facing a large television. A sturdy looking oak coffee table filled the space between the two, the surface housing a bowl that held various baubles and trinkets, the remotes to the television and accompanying devices, and a stack of old books. The furniture all looked ancient, and heavy, yet flawless, with intricate designs carved into the wood, and deep, muted fabrics. The walls were lined floor to ceiling with bookshelves, his book collection seemingly in the thousands. I was stunned by how beautiful, and literally magical this place was.
"Like what you see?" Loki's startled me, making me turn around. My brain went blank, at the sight my eyes landed on. Loki stood in the doorway of his bathroom, leaning against the frame, wiping his hands on a small towel. His broad shoulders and chest were completely bare, droplets of water glistening against his smooth, pale skin, as the fire reflected off of each one making it look like there was a constellation scatter over him. My mind was in a daze, as my eyes absentmindedly followed the trail of one of the droplet that slowly made its way down his chest, navigating its way over the toned muscles of his taut abdomen, before it absorbed into the waistband of his cotton pajama pants that sat low in his hips, exposing the prominent lines of his obliques. The low sound of a chuckle rumbling in his chest, snapped me out of my daze.
"Fuck!" I squealed in surprise, slapping my hand over my eyes so fast, it actually kind of hurt.
"I'll take that as a yes." He quipped. I didn't have to open my eyes, to hear the smirk in his voice. God, he was such a cocky asshole sometimes.
"You're naked!" I protested, my cheeks heating up, as my mind filed that image away to memory.
"I took a shower. Even on Midgard, it's custom to do so in the nude, yes?" He chuckled. "Also, I'm not naked, I have pants on." He assured me. He may as well have been naked. Holy shit. "Last time I checked, I have a right to be nude in my own quarters, regardless, Lady Lorelei."
"Not when you have guests." I reminded him.
"Ah, but in my understanding, a guest is someone whom I've invited, is it not? ." He snarked. He had a point there. Then again, if he didn't want uninvited guests, he should probably give that door a stern talking to, if it just opens for anyone who knocks.
"Can you put a shirt on, please?" I snapped, feeling a little off balance from the lack of vision, as well as fully untrusting of being in Lokis presence, and not being able to see what he was up to. Doing so felt an awful lot like stepping into shark infested waters with a blind fold, and a chum necklace.
"No." He informed me with proud finality in his tone. "I was about to go to bed, and I sleep nude."
"Gross" I muttered at him in irritation. "Besides, it's morning, why are just now going to bed?"
"Someone's a curious girl today, isn't she? I assure you there's plenty to do in my bed, that has very little to do with sleep, Darling. Care to join me?"
Oh, no. This is a dream isn't it. I was scared they'd eventually become so vivid, I wouldn't be able to tell them apart from reality, and I guess I was right. How else would this room fit in the building?
"It's not a dream, I promise you that." He said in amusement.
"Why would I believe a word you....Wait, a minute." I slowly removed my hand to look at him. He was sprawled out on the couch, leaning back into the corner seat of the sectional his arms draped over the back, one leg slightly tucked under the other, as he stared back at me in sheer amusement. I was careful to look only at his eyes, and not at his perfectly chiseled torso. My head tipped in disbelief, as I eyed him suspiciously. "What did you just say?"
"It's not necessary to repeat myself. You know what I said." He assured me, a wicked twinkle in his eyes as he did. That can't be real. I imagined it, right? That's it. I've completely lost my mind, and gone insane. That's the only thing that makes sense.
"Really? That's the only thing?" Loki answered my internal questions out loud, a skeptical look on his face. "I could give you five examples just off the top of my head, that make more sense than going insane."
"Holy fuck...." I gawked at him in horror. That's impossible. I thought he was a magician, not a mind reader! No one ever mentioned mind reading. What the fuck.
"Alright, magician is just offensive." Loki sneered with irritation, clearly insulted by my thoughts. It's not like I'm wrong. He does sparkly magic tricks, and makes things appear and disappear. That's literally a magician.
"Your thoughts are infinitely more irritating than you actually speaking. And loud too, did you know that?" Loki asked, his expression annoyed, as he stared at me. "That's a hard task to accomplish, and yet you do it with ease."
I blinked at him, my mind still struggling to wraps itself around the idea that Loki could hear everything that popped into my head. Not only is that incredibly infuriating, but also.....damn, that's really embarrassing. My mind is not a place for the average person, otherwise I'd be in a room with padded walls right now.
"Good thing I'm not average then, huh?" lol chuckled as he stood up, grabbing the pile of books off of the coffee table. At least he was tidy.
"Yes, well, I don't work well in a mess." He explained as he started sliding the books into their designated spots along his shelves.
"Stop doing that!" I demanded, a little annoyed that my foot did that stupid stompy thing it does when I'm mad. It's childish, believe me I know, and yet I can't stop it when it happens.
"I find the weird stompy thing to be rather amusing, myself." Loki chuckled as he finished putting his books away.
"Get out of my head, or I swear I'll..I'll..." honestly, I didn't know what I'd do. But I'd be sure it hurt, I know that much.
"First of all, you couldn't hurt me if your life depended on it, little one." Loki rolled his eyes as he stepped closer to me. "And secondly, if you don't want me inside of your head, then stop screaming your every thought at me."
Is he kidding? I don't know what just happened, but it felt an awful lot like he was blaming me for his boundary issues. I didn't even know this dickhead could reads minds, and he expects me to know how to not get my mind read? Unbelievable!
"Hm.." he barred his teeth for a moment, his face twisting into a look of anger as he towered over me, my breath halting in my lungs, at how quickly, and how close he got to me. "You. You're such an irritating little tart, you know that?" He spat.
"Me?" My eyes bulged in disbelief. "I'm irritating?!" I demanded. "You have fucked with me every single day for the past two years, and I'm the irritating one?! You're unbelievable!"
"Oh, yes. Like a splinter. Harmless, and annoyingly tiny, yet your presence is nearly painful, and nerve grating." He doubled down, resentment piercing through his eyes that eerily resembling the blue flames of an unforgiving fire. At this moment, I found myself hating my attraction to this man, because ad pissed off as I was that he would yell at me, my mind was still screaming with how devastatingly sensual even his anger was.
"It's finally occurred to me what it is about you, that bothers me.You're a coward." He sneered. "You rage, and you shout, and you put on this big show of hating me, to hide the fact that you want me more."
"Y-you..that's not....stop it." I stuttered, praying he'd get out of my head, and shut his mouth.
"No." He said sternly, stomping closer, my steps falling back in line with his, until he had me back against one of the shelf lined walls, the smooth wooden shelves digging into my back as he boxed me in. He placed his hands on either side of my hand, hide palms wrapping around the wood, knuckles white from his grip, as he caged me in place. "I've listened to your never ending swirl of thoughts for two years. Your little glances. Your longing, and your erotic little visual, all while hearing you spit vulgarities and insults at me, trying your best to hide it, while you live in denial." His words were like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of me, as I stared up at him. "I thought if I opened your mind to the your deepest desires, then you might stop being such a stubborn brat, and actually do something about it. Yet it's been two weeks already, and here you are, standing in my the middle of my quarters, shouting your disdain, while you ignore your bodies wants and demand, still fighting to convince yourself it isn't true."
I was in shock as he spoke, my mind not missing his admittance to making me dream about him. He actually did do that. I thought I was insane for thinking he could, or even would do something like that.
"Oh, yes. I can do that, and so much more that you're missing out on, by being a headstrong little idiot." He assured me, his name calling stinging a little. "But, while you may paint me as this evil villain, and I may very well be one, I didn't put myself in your dreams, Darling. I simply removed your limitations, and the walls you built to ignore those desires, and you put me there all on your own."
A tart? Maybe. But an idiot? Not likely.
"Don't do that." He warned, his told holding an authority I didn't expect. "You can focus on whichever words of mine you want, but I've erased your ability to block out your desire for me, and no matter how hard you try, you're not going to be able to ignore it much longer."
"For someone who claims to spend so much time in my head, you must not know me very well." I ground out. If he thinks I won't force my self to ignore it, especially out of spite, he's going to be sorely mistaken. Magic be damned.
A devilish smirk crept up his lips, one that sent a pulse straight to the apex of my thighs, as he watched me with a keen eye, more than willing to accept a challenge.
"Would you care to bet on that?" He taunted. Before I could answer, words vanished, as he dropped one large hand to my waist, sending a tingle through my tummy. I gasped in surprise, as you jerked me flush against him, his touch like gasoline on the fire that was coursing through my most intimate places. My heart hammered against my ribs, my breathes coming in short, sharp bursts, as he leaned in, his lips ghosting over mine. A desperate gasp left my lungs, as I leaned into the kiss, chasing his lips, only for him to pull back before they could touch. He grinned down at me, his pride clear on his face. "Admit it." He challenged. "Out loud. Admit you want me, and I'll make your body come alive in ways you've thought possible, Lorelei."
I swallowed hard, watching him with glazed over eyes. It would be so easy. He right there, inches away. All I had to do was say a few words, and this God of a man claims he would make every one of those obscene dreams a reality, and likely more.
"It's not just a claim, Darling." He taunted, brushing his lips along my cheek. My eyes fluttered shut, my body and mind becoming overwhelmed by even the most faint touches of his hands, and  lips. His cool breath tickled my skin, his lips making me shiver as they made their way towards my ear. "It's a promise."
I was so close to saying yes, so so very close, and then..
"Why fight it, Lorelei? You're going to say yes. I know you are." He stated a little too proudly for my liking. Before even I knew what was happening, my hands shoved against his chest. I'd never be strong enough to actually give him a good shove, but he wobbled just enough that I was able to slip away from the shelves, and get a few feet away. He spun to face me, but I didn't stick around I ran as hard and as fast as my feet would carry me until I made it to my own apartment, slamming the door shut behind me. My heart was hammering, my veins were buzzing with a strange mix of excitement and panic. I was scared of Loki, but his words shook me to my core. Knowing he could read my mind, and that none of my deepest darkest secret and feelings were private, had my hand shaking like dry leaves on a windy day. He said if I didn't want him reading my mind, I should stop letting him. That means there's a way to keep him out, a way to shut the doors to my mind. If I could do that, I would be fine. I never had much of my own before, but my thoughts and feelings, those belong to me and me only, and no one gets to have those without my permission. So without a second thought, I pulled out my phone, and texted the only I could think of who might know a thing or two about mental fortification.