Stargirl *REMAKE*

Chapter One ~{Should I Do It?}~

          Hey, my name is Sakura Mikuin, but my friends call me Saku, you guys can too if you want!  I'm in my late twenties now and I got out of college a year ago after studying for a psychology degree. I've always wanted to do this, it was always my dream, but a few years ago, in my teenage years, it was different for me, well not really, but i wanted to hide who i really was at the time, i just didn't think anybody would understand, and i honestly thought I would get bullied more, anyway, this is chapter one of Stargirl's story, my story.

          It was a really nice day outside, the birds where chirping, the sky was very blue, and the sun was shining bright in the cloudless sky while the smell of my moms famous pancakes filled my nose, but the thing is, I just lied to you. It wasn't that nice outside, there were no birds chirping the sky wasn't blue, it was a dark tone of grey, and the sun? Forget about that, you couldn't see it even if you got a microscope and looked as close as you could. Oh and another thing, there were no pancakes, there could be if I made them but they would never be as good as my mom's, and my dad? Forget about him, after he got my mom pregnant with me he fled to another country and changed his whole identity so we couldn't find him, and yes, even though I'm sixteen, I live alone in the house my mom built, but if you count my cat and my mom's urn, then I guess you could say I don't live alone. I work at a local food market and make about 400,000 JPY per month and for the Americans that's about 3,700 USD. I go to school Monday through Friday but during the summer, weekends, and just whenever I don't have school, i'm working, sleeping, or taking care of Mochi, my cat. I know it sounds pretty busy for the life of a sixteen year old, but I got used to it pretty quickly because of how much my mom used to work before her demise. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I looked before I walked across the street that day, because if I did, I would have saw the car, and if I saw the car, my mom wouldn't have had to push me out of the way and get ran over herself, but I know, that stuff like that isn't in my control, and that I can't think of myself in a bad way because I can't have my mom being disappointed in me, I have to live for her and how she would have wanted me to. Anyway, I have to get ready for school.

          The school I go to let's you wear accessories with the uniform as long as it wouldn't break the dress code. Our uniform, well the girls uniform, is a  plad blue skirt, a white button-up dress shirt, a plad blue tie or bow-tie, I choose to wear the bow-tie, and a pink or blue jacket, I wear the pink one, I also wear white leg warmers. All girls have to have there hair up in some way even if it's just half up, I wear pigtails in my hair, and all boys have to have there hair up in some way even if it's just half-way if they have long hair. The boys also have the same uniforms as the girls except they wear plad pants instead of a plad skirt. We have to wear our indoor shoes at school like we do in our houses, we change our shoes at our lockers witch are extremely close to the entrance. Now that I've explained that to you, I have to go feed my cat, say goodbye to mom, and head to school. Oh! And before I do that, my only friend's name is Sammy. My bullies name is Fay, I just thought I'd let you know before I head out.

          As I leave my house I grab my matte black umbrella as it had started to rain, and no, I'm not emo, even though emo people are like, super cool, I just like the scene style better, it's similar to emo, but not quite the same, the only reason I even have a matte black umbrella is because I'm obsessed with Miraculous: Tales of a Ladybug and Cat Noir, there was a scene with an umbrella in it, if you don't understand just look it up, and don't make fun of me for watching it please, I know it's a kids show but it grew with it's audience and gets more in depth throughout the show, trust me on that.

          When I was halfway to school I saw my best friend, Sammy, so I ran up to her so I could talk to her.

          "What's up?" I say to her in my broken English as I have not learned the full language and pronunciations yet. Oh, by the way, if you couldn't tell by her name and me talking to her in English, she's from America, she knows Japanese but loves speaking in English and I also love the English language so sometimes she helps me with my English so we can talk in her language since we both like it.

          "Nothing much, what about you?" She asks me as we both fit under the umbrella. 

          "Nothing much here!" I tell her as I struggled to say the word much even though it is a simple word. 

          Sammy is the best person I've ever met. She's my only friend and my best one too. Sometimes I wonder what I would even do without her. I don't think I would even be able to live without her sometimes, by the way, if you couldn't tell already, I have a huge crush on her, but I don't even know if she's lesbian, like me, or bi, maybe pan. She never even told me if she was strait or not, but I can't blame her, especially since I haven't came out to her yet. It's hard for me but I know I can do it soon. I know I can. Not now though, not now. I just, I just can't. Anyway, we are at school now, so i gotta go, or you could come with me if you want to, but you don't have to, wait y'know what? You're coming with me i do not care if you don't want to cause you are.

          Before we entered the school I looked at Sammy in the eyes and asked her, "Can you meet me in the bathroom in the free hour, I need to uh, tell you something!" I say to her almost forgetting the word for tell. 

          "Of course I can!" She tells me as I put my umbrella away in the umbrella holder and go to my locker to change my shoes into my indoor shoes so I won't get into any trouble at school for wearing my dirty outdoor shoes.

          Once free period came by I got really scared. What if she doesn't except me? What if I lose my only friend? What if... What if... If you couldn't tell, I'm extremely nervous. It's exiting but also not at the same time. I knew this day would come soon, but not this soon, I can't back out now though because i'm not a chicken. Well maybe I am but that doesn't matter, at least i don't think it matters. Anyway, Sammy's here, so I gotta go now. Well not really because you'll be there with me.

          "Sammy, I need to tell you something..." I tell her, my voice shaking. "I, I'm a lesbian, please be okay with it, I cant live my life without you." I tell her, my voice shaking even more than before.

          "Oh Sakura..." She tells me. "Of course i'm okay with it." She tells me. "In fact, i'm," She tells me before sighing. "I am too. I'm a lesbian too." She tells me confidently. "And.. I, I really like you, it's okay if you don't feel the same about me, but I like you Saku, I really, really do." She tells me. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe that, that she likes me, the girl of my dreams likes me! This day is really starting to turn around.

          "I, I really like you too Sammy, I do." I tell her in response. "I've liked you since I first laid my eyes on you. I love you so, so much Sammy." I tell her. For a few moments after that we just stood there, looking at each other. After that, we were looking each other in the eyes, and one thing led to another and we shared a beautiful kiss. Her lips lasted like a cherry smoothie on a summer day, a beautiful one.

          We decided to walk home with each other, her parents weren't home though, but they put a paper on the door for her to stay at my house. On the way to my house I saw a paper that said "Idol Auditions! Sing your heart away!" So I decided to take it and I turned over to Sammy and asked her,

          "Should I do it?" I ask in a questioning tone.