[ Ivan x Till ] The Stage of Dreams - Alienstage smut

♥︎♡ Chapter 1 ♡♥︎

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Cold. Since when did Ivan's hands feel so bitter? Something so familiar, his gentle touch, was now hardly recognizable.

Thumbs clamped around the front of Till's throat, pressing so hard he could feel his pulse stuck in his head, throbbing without escape. It was so sudden, Ivan's kiss. He already felt dead inside, what more did the gods expect from him.

The poor boy could just about make out the shape of nails pricking the back of his neck, anchoring down under the rows of interlocked fingers. His own breath struggling to pass; ears ringing; the beating of his chest raising to what sounded like a relentless hum. There was no space left for anything to be seen, uncluding his marked name and scars - Ivans hands swallowed them all, holding on for what seemed like forever.

It felt.. just so different.

The stage..the thundering music was dissapearing. It was all being washed away, leaving Till only being tied down by the feeling of pain. Not physical, but a knot of emotions twisted tight, like a lump you can't swallow.

He just had to make sense of it in these dying last moments. Did Ivan really just hate him? His vision had faded, the last strings of his conscious snapping one by one. It hurt -more that anything.. not knowing why. He was tierd of it all.

Maybe it was best to let it all slip away and return to the great Anakt.

Warm. So unbelievably warm, that even now whilst strangling Till, it felt somehow fine. His fiery pulse raced through Ivan's hands, soothing and sweet. There was bliss in the moment.. afterall, Till was going to live. This was the only outcome that Ivan could accept. Glancing up just one more time, he was confident the score had tipped way too much in Till's favour to recover from. Eveything else would fall in place, so maybe he could just rest easy now.

He wished he had longer, just a bit longer to understand it all, his feelings and this sort of love. But the only thing he could do now was to hold his precious Till untill the very end.  Ivan's vision grew cloudy -from the love, the desire, wishing he could stretch this moment forever -being connected like this.

Did Till understand?

It started slowly, almost imperceptibly -a soft blurring around the edges of Ivan's vision, as though the world itself were slipping out of focus. The music around them grew faint, fading into an eerie silence only filled by his own thought. A gentle whiteness seeped into his sight, washing over colors, until Till’s pale green eyes were the only things left that held any clarity.

Ivan reached out, staring into those eyes, beautiful and full of life, yet trembling with despair, confusion, and a thousand emotions that seemed ready to tear apart.

But Till wasn't truly looking at him; his gaze
was locked on something far away,
something Ivan couldn't see, couldn't
reach.

“Look here…” Ivan’s voice cracked, desperate to hold Till in this moment. “Look at me,” he called, but even his voice seemed to dissolve away into this expanse of nothingness.

Everything had gone. It was as if reality itself was slipping away, receding into some quiet, unreachable distance.

It was a bubble of shared memories between them yearning for an answer, drifting desires that would give them another chance.

The ground beneath them felt like nothing, like stepping into the space between dreams, and Ivan could no longer tell where they were -or even if they were.

Was this Till’s world? It was hollow, endless. A sad, beautiful void.

"Till! I'm here,"  he yearned a response. Shaking his precious by the shoulder. "There's no one else around."

Tills eyes were going cold. He grew desparate, gripping him by the neck softly, like how he'd allways done; to release that collar. Till should know it, the desire to be free.. So why could he feel the rebellious fire he had in him dying.

Ivan got close;  their faces nearly touched, his fleeting breath condensing over Till's skin. Reflected in the wide icy stare, the raven haired could see the dim red glow of his own pupils. "Till.. can you see me?"  Ivan’s heart grew heavy, each thud a reminder of the time running out.  There didn't seem to be a response.

The light around him was drowning out.Darkness pressed in, pitch black.  He hated it. He couldn't see anything, couldn't feel anythings  -just an endless disgusting black. "Till.." Ivan's throat tightened, where was he?

But then, as suddenly as it had vanished, the world shifted again. With his head tilted up, he could see the void above giving way. Slowly colours bled in, blooming into deep shades of orange, warm and alive ad if the sky its self was aflame. Stars began to emerge, then fall -meteors cutting it open with lines of blazing bright. Who's memories were these?

Then.. a greater heat in his hand. He glanced down, realising only now that Till's hand was within his own,  their fingers tangled, messy but tight. They were running together, feet pounding against the ground, without a single glance behind. Grass whipped against their bruised, raw feet, hearts racing so close to freedom.

The field -how could Ivan ever forget. The images of that day burned within him, Till's smile seared into his very soul.  The same field where his heart had once been hurt. But not this time. Never again. 

As Till pulled away, panic surged within like a primal instinct. Ivan's hand shot out to Till's wrist with a fierce intensity, refusing to let go.

"I can't leave."  Till finally spoke, voice trembling as if wrestling with the words. He broke away. Ivan quiet. But no!  He acted -selfish he was but it was all he could do. Clawing just the tip of Till's white dress, he forced him down to the soft ground beneath for one last desperate plea.

Before Till could talk, or take another breath, Ivan seals his words with a kiss. The response could wait.

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Author note:

I lost count of how many times I cried writing this bit. Ivan till for life. This fic was fr born out of the black sorrow in my heart. Hopefully you can find some happiness reading this, and I've literally stopped writing my other fics to do this one.

There will be mature smut content in the following chapters. This is a smutshot. So just be aware of that <3

★-Vote pretty plz