HAYYAH...

Two

That's not all that matters actually, I stood by the door, the atmosphere at home spelt   GLOOMY and it's stench hung depressingly over the air, I slip my bag onto the couch in the hall and walk through the passage leading to the kitchen, I grab my favourite snack, Granola and a keg of swiss yoghurt from the fridge and set them on the kitchen island.

Grabbed a  ceramic bowl and poured the yoghurt into it before sprinkling two handfuls of granola on it, then I dig my spoon in.

Uhhhhhh, this is THE life.
It tastes heavenly, well, I don't know what heaven would taste like but....
Seriously, I love this combo.

I close my eyes and savor the taste, trying not to think too hard about what has been going these days, it's hard when you have to keep repressing and repressing till you explode, get completely outta control.

I take a deep breath and slowly pull off my hijab, placing it gently on the stool by the breakfast bar.

I'm sure THE FAMILY is still looking for me, I can never be too sure.
Whatever they want from me, they can't get.
They won't ever get it.
I've come to love this world, even with it's vices and vanity, I've come to realize this world doesn't need to be changed.

What will become of the good people?
What will be the outcome of the bad?
This world....
It's...

I'm thrown hard out of my reverie as Khalid saunters in, he's all dressed up, whistling slowly as he walks past me and swats my head with the back of his palm, a knowing smirk dancing around the mischievous arc of his lips. I roll my eyes as I crunch faster on the snack, curling my hands into fists.

Repress...

The urge to grab him by the neck and dislocate every bone and muscles in his body heightens and I fight it, hard.
I wondered how he would look with red sprayed excuisitely on his Caramel skin, the soft colour as a background with loud red splashed tastefully on it, how much more exotic could an art work look?

I wonder how tasteful and melodious his agonizing scream would sound, wondered how long I was going to savor it, record it perhaps and listen to it for over a billion times, maybe set as my ring tone or...

Repress Dammit!

I run my shaky hands over my face and take a deep breath, you're a Muslim, that's enough for you not to attack anyone.

I chant Audhubillahi over and over again till I feel my pulse slowly pull off, my heartbeat synced with it and I'm back to normal, not that Khalid notices, he's resting at the far end of the island, his eyes trained on his phone as he reigns terror on his keyboard, there is a can of Zizou fruit drink in front of him, is that the mango flavoured?

Eew, I hate mango.

Okay, wasn't supposed to say that😅

Somepeople would kill me if they ever heard my thoughts, someone like Ruru is an example.

"Where're you off to?" I ask my young uncle.
He looks up from his phone and smiles,
"You're suddenly interested, is that to be celebrated?" He teases.

"You think too much, I actually don't care, just thought to know, Incase you don't ever come back, we'd know where to find you.

Y'know"
I said as I stuffed a spoonful of granola and yoghurt into my mouth.

He grins and picks his drink, an amused look in his brimming eyes.
"That's the Hayyah I know" he says earning an eye roll from me.

"I'm actually going to the lab with Brother" he says, the mention of my dad caused the smile (which I didn't know was there) it's death.

"But, that is Mother's lab" I said, he sighed

"He just wanted to visit her, y'know" he said, "that's a nice way of saying BRIBE her" I interjected.

He had an incredulous expression on his face as he stared at me.
"Well, I don't know" he says silently and sets his phone down, his gentle gaze on me.

"You don't want him to marry Cearra" he states, "great heavens, you're just realizing" I hiss, losing appetite in the snack before me.

It is my favorite snack but now it seems so disgusting.

"Your Mom didn't object" he said, "and that is the worst part, what'll she gain by being the bigger person?" I say, and lower my voice when I realize I was beginning to yell.

He stands from the place he's at and makes for the breakfast bar behind me, grabs two stools and had me seat after he does the same.
"Trust me, she is NOT trying to be a bigger person here, she just... cares less" he says softly, my brows furrow slowly.
"Cares less?" I ask, "what do you mean?" I ask.

"Why don't you talk to your mom about it, huh?" He asks and stands to his seat.
"And finish that dish, it didn't deserve to be looked upon with disgust" he says and grabs his phone.

"And go get a bath, eh?
You stink" he says and turns to the exit.
"No, I don't!" I yell after him, earning a cheerful chuckle from him.

A small smile decorates my lips as he turns back and winks.

I can't believe I have an uncle who's just three years older than me, it IS refreshing.

Guess umma and I have a long talk when she gets back.
Really long talk.