The One I Shouldn't Love

Chapter 1: Unseen and Unheard

Vixen had always been a curvy girl. It wasn't something she could hide, not like she wanted to. She'd learned to walk with it, stand tall with the weight of her body, even if the world around her seemed to insist on making her feel like she didn't belong.

The whispers were always there. At the back of the classroom, under the hum of fluorescent lights, she could hear them. The cruel comments about her shape, the snickers when she reached for something on the top shelf, the glances that turned into stares whenever she walked down the hall. They didn't know how much it hurt. They didn't care. And Vixen? She'd learned to block them out.

Her mother had always said, "You're beautiful, no matter what they say. Beauty is in the way you carry yourself." Vixen tried to believe it. She really did. But sometimes, in the quiet moments when she was alone, when the noise of the world faded, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe the people who teased her were right.

But none of that mattered anymore, not really.

Because there was Mr. James.

Her teacher. Her obsession. The one person who made her feel... noticed.

It had started small, a passing glance one day after class when he looked at her a second longer than usual. It had seemed innocent enough—a teacher offering a polite smile after she answered a question. But to Vixen, it was everything. She had watched him, studied the way he moved, the way he spoke to everyone with calm authority, yet there was something else there too. Something more intimate in the way his eyes lingered on people.

Especially her.

Vixen's heart would race whenever he was near. It wasn't just because he was a teacher. It was because of how he made her feel. The warmth of his voice, the kindness in his eyes when he called on her to answer a question. He wasn't like the others. He didn't treat her differently because of her size.

Her feelings for Mr. James had grown over the past few months. What started as admiration quickly turned into something much deeper. Something dangerous, forbidden. She didn't care. All that mattered was that when Mr. James looked at her, she felt seen.

And it wasn't just his attention that caught her—it was his life. She knew he was married. She had seen the ring on his finger, and it made her ache in a way she didn't fully understand. He had a life outside of school, a wife he came to visit after every class. A family. A world that didn't include her.

It made her feel small, but it also made her feel powerful. She knew she could never have him, not in the way she dreamed. But sometimes, when she saw him in the halls, when their eyes met just for a moment, it felt like he might be thinking of her too.

But what did that matter? She wasn't in high school anymore. She wasn't a little girl anymore. She was 19, an adult, and she knew what she wanted. And for once, she wasn't going to let the world tell her what she could or couldn't have.

The bell rang, pulling Vixen from her thoughts. She stood up quickly, slinging her bag over her shoulder. The hallways were crowded, as usual, but Vixen didn't mind. She pushed her way through the sea of students, barely hearing the taunts and laughter that followed her. She knew they were talking about her again. She didn't care.

What she cared about was finding a moment alone with Mr. James. She had always hung back after class, pretending to go through her notes or make sure she had everything in order. It wasn't hard to make it look natural. After all, the more time she spent near him, the more she could be close to the one person who never judged her.

When the final student trickled out of the classroom, she slipped in quietly.

"Mr. James?" Her voice was soft, but she knew he could hear it.

Mr. James was standing by his desk, scribbling something on his clipboard. When he turned around and saw her, a small smile crossed his lips.

"Vixen, everything okay?"

Her breath caught in her throat at the sound of his voice. It was so calm, so caring. She couldn't help herself; she moved a little closer.

"Yeah, I just... I just wanted to talk. I was wondering if I could get some help with the assignment." She gestured to her notebook, trying to focus on the task at hand.

He nodded, his eyes kind, but still professional. "Of course. What's giving you trouble?"

They spent the next few minutes discussing the work, though Vixen's mind wasn't fully on it. She was watching him, listening to the cadence of his voice, the way his fingers would brush the papers before him, the slight furrow of his brow as he thought. There was something hypnotic about him.

His gaze flickered up to meet hers again, and for a moment, the air between them felt thick with tension.

"You're doing fine, Vixen," he said, a little quieter now. "Don't sell yourself short."

Her heart raced at the quiet praise, the encouragement he always gave. No one else had ever made her feel this way—like she mattered, like she could do something good, something right. Like there was more to her than just the body they saw, the one that people judged, mocked, and called names.

"Thank you, Mr. James," she whispered, not sure if she could say anything else. The feelings were too overwhelming, the space between them too close for comfort.

But Mr. James seemed oblivious to the undercurrent of tension. He smiled again, standing up straight. "Don't mention it. You're capable of a lot more than you think. Just stay focused, alright?"

Vixen nodded, but she wasn't listening to him anymore. She was watching his lips, imagining what it would be like to hear him say something else. Something more than just encouragement. Something that could make this ache in her chest go away.

But before she could even process it, he was turning away to grab his bag. "I'll see you Monday, Vixen."

She stared after him as he left, the heavy door swinging shut behind him.

She was alone again. The silence in the room was deafening.

Vixen didn't care. The world could think whatever they wanted. The bullies could say what they wanted. She didn't need them. Not when she had her secret.

Not when she had Mr. James.