Rubbing my palms together, i consoled myself while sitting against a cold wall. In front of me was a blade. What can a stress, anxiety and attacks make you do?
I had no intention to give my loving life....yet, I needed some help to reduce the pain. I was not able to speak up about it with anyone. It seemed they won't get it and make fun of it. They might ignore the whole anxiety attack at once. One of them did. I thought someone will finally understand my point as well, but NO...no one did nor ever will.
I prayed everyday for just one man to be okay and now I guessed he will be fine without me ever existing. If that what it takes.
My utter brainwashing thoughts needed someone to hear it, understand it and console me, and also help me get out of that state. But seemed no one was there anymore. Everyone is just...too busy for me now....
Not thinking again about the flashbacks already repeating again and again in my head, I picked up the object and started to relax my whole soul at one go..and then another....and another....and another....
It went on....but surprisingly I couldn't feel the pain anymore. Guess, the inner one was too much to let me feel the innumerable cuts.
I let the wound stay open on my wrist. Not applying antiseptic to it made it worse but I felt better to have a distraction than having a whole known "film" going inside with same tone each time. Covering it up with my sleeve, i escaped my mother's gaze. I don't know for how long will I be able to that, yet, for calming myself, I finally found a WAY...
YOU ARE READING
CLOSER
RomanceFirst collection of my short stories.. It is based on my day to day increasing mental stress right after my break up... Too immature?? But i needed a peaceful place to vent so be it.... (it's basically a set short stories...🫠)
