A Gilmore's Return

Chapter Fourteen: The Weight of Expectations

Alessia sat at her desk, the soft glow of the desk lamp illuminating the scattered remnants of another long night. The room was littered with textbooks and notebooks, but it wasn't the sociology readings or the history assignments that were weighing on her mind. It was the photography project she was supposed to have finished by tomorrow. The camera sat untouched beside her, its lens catching the faint light, but Alessia couldn't bring herself to pick it up.

Her second year at Harvard had started with promise. She'd entered the semester ready to dive deep into her film and photography courses, excited to explore her passion more seriously. But as the weeks passed, the reality of balancing everything-the increased difficulty of her classes, the mounting pressure of assignments, and her desire to keep up with her social life-began to take its toll. It was like she was treading water in a pool that kept getting deeper. And every time she tried to focus on one thing, another wave hit.

Alessia's fingers hovered over the camera's buttons, but they felt heavy. She had been assigned to capture a photo series based on the theme of "identity," but the idea that had seemed so clear in her head at the beginning of the semester now felt like a blurry mess. Every shot she took felt inauthentic, like she was trying to mimic something, not create her own vision. The last few photos she'd snapped felt disconnected, as if she was just going through the motions rather than truly capturing something that mattered.

Her phone buzzed on the desk, and she glanced down to see a message from Riley.

Riley: Hey, you around? Want to grab lunch before my afternoon class?

Alessia ran a hand through her hair, trying to gather her thoughts. She wanted to reply, to do something normal for once, but the weight of her coursework kept pulling her back in. The project, the readings, the fact that she had to keep up with everything when it felt like the rest of the world was moving faster than she could keep up-it all pressed down on her like an unyielding weight.

Just then, the door to her dorm room creaked open, and Riley poked his head in, his usual easy grin plastered across his face.

"You okay in here?" he asked, stepping inside and glancing at the cluttered desk.

Alessia gave him a weak smile. "Yeah, just... you know, the usual."

Riley raised an eyebrow, walking over to her desk and eyeing the mess of photography notes, textbooks, and photography gear. "Uh-huh. So, which part of 'the usual' is making you look like you want to crawl under the desk and disappear?"

Alessia sighed, running a hand over her face. "I just can't seem to focus on anything. This project's been... rough. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, but every shot just looks like crap. I don't know. I thought I could handle it all this year, but I guess I was wrong."

Riley pulled up a chair and sat down beside her, his casual posture betraying his concern. "You're not the only one struggling. This year is kicking everyone's ass, including mine." He reached over and grabbed a textbook, flipping it open to a random page. "You just need a break, Alessia. You can't solve everything by staring at it until your brain melts."

She rolled her eyes but appreciated the attempt to lighten the mood. "I can't exactly take a break. I have deadlines, and you know how it is with my professors. They're not exactly forgiving. And this project-" She paused, the frustration creeping back into her voice. "I'm supposed to be telling a story with my photos, but I don't even know what my story is anymore."

Riley tilted his head, studying her. "You've always been good at this. Maybe you're just overthinking it. What if you just... shoot what you feel, not what you think you should?"

Alessia stared at him, a bit stunned by how simple the suggestion sounded. But it struck something deep inside her-maybe the problem wasn't that she was incapable, but that she was trying too hard to fit her work into an ideal rather than letting it flow naturally.

"Shoot what I feel..." she repeated softly, almost to herself.

Riley nodded. "Yeah, like how you always say photography is about capturing moments, not perfect compositions. You don't need to have everything figured out. Just start. You're not going to make a masterpiece every time, but you won't make anything if you don't try."

Alessia blinked at him, feeling a surge of gratitude mixed with irritation at how much sense he made. It wasn't what she wanted to hear, but it was exactly what she needed. "I hate it when you're right."

"I know. That's why I'm here," Riley said with a smirk, nudging her gently.

Her phone buzzed again, and this time, Alessia didn't hesitate. She responded to Riley's message, agreeing to grab lunch. For the first time in a while, she felt like she could step away from the endless cycle of stress for just a little bit.

"You're going to help me with this project, though," she said, turning to him with a grin.

Riley feigned offense. "Me? With your 'art'? I thought you were the one who took all the cool pictures."

Alessia laughed, the tension in her shoulders loosening as the stress of the day began to ease. She grabbed her camera and tossed it in her bag, her fingers finally feeling a bit lighter. "Fine, I'll work on it alone," she said, making a dramatic show of packing up. "But you owe me coffee. A lot of it."

"Deal," Riley said, getting up and following her to the door.

As they left the dorm room, Alessia's mind still buzzed with thoughts of the project, but now it was different. It wasn't about perfection. It was about capturing something that felt real, something that mattered to her. And maybe, just maybe, it was time to stop pretending that everything had to be perfect. She was learning to take it one step at a time, to let herself fail and learn from it.

The semester wasn't going to slow down, and neither was she. But for the first time in a while, Alessia felt like she might just be able to keep up.