A Solarballs inspired story - How To Be A Planet

Chapter 1 - Never Ending Cycle

A.N.: This story contains violence, death and mentions of sexual intimacy (not actions of it, but jokes and neutral conversations about this topic).
Please refrain from this story if those topics are triggering to you.

The thumbnail is an image from the website "Pexels".

While I got inspired by Solarballs to make a Solar-System-Story, the characters aren't really like they are in Solarballs. Some are similar, others are completely different. The characters in this story are humanized to make more actions possible.
The plot is my own and not inspired by anything.

English isn't my first language, so it's not the yellow from the egg. I apologize for mistakes in grammar or spelling.

I really hope you will enjoy this story as I am working really hard on it :)
A comment would give me so much motivation and I'm grateful for every single one I might receive!

With everything said, let's begin!

___________

"I don't remember much from when I was born.

Neither do I know why I even exist nor why anything in paticular exists. I've been told every living being (- well atleast, every THINKING being -) feels the same. Doesn't matter if it's planets, stars, black holes or earthlings.

Yet for a while it seemed like I'm the only one to experience this uncertainty.

My name Saturn still sounds like a slur sometimes and when I look in a mirror, I often don't regonize who is in front of me. My touch feels cold and foreign.

But when I was with him, everything was totally different. Maybe that is the reason for what I've done and haven't done?
...

For him?

...

Nevermind. I really don't want to think about him right now. This place is really getting to me, damn it.
I need some sleep."

Saturn lowered his head. He was surrounded by complete darkness and he couldn't tell if he had his eyes closed or still open.

He knew what dream awaited him.
It was the same dream he had every night.

Falling asleep has turned bitter and torturing even though it once was the sweetest thing in this universe.
But Saturn was too tired to mind it.

"Who cares if I have to witness everything again?", he thought. "Maybe this time I won't wake up."

-

The furthest thing Saturn can think back off is the Grand-Tack. Something that made him a hero long ago in the eyes of both planets and stars. His intentions were different though.

Saturn groaned as he opened his eyes for the very first time and was blinded by something very bright. Slowly the brightness seemed to dim. Was he who shone or was it that white thing in front of him?

Saturn wanted to scream as he suddenly felt the pain coursing through his body. Everything was burning hot. Saturn tried to scream but didn't know how.

Panicking, he looked around and didn't know anything he saw - the bright burning object, a rock-ring around the bright burning being, dust, more rocks nebula, and something else. Something that stood out from the rest.

He looked like the bright burning thing but wasn't burning and not as big. He had the features Saturn had, but looked different.

The bright burning object was too intimidating and far too reach, but that boy was just close enough.
Saturn saw, how the boy got closer to the burning flames. The boys eyes were closed and his face was scratched.